Thursday, December 31, 2009

I am beyond ecstatic!







While looking around on ikea's site last night I stumbled onto an idea for my kitchen. My kitchen is stuck in the late 80's. I call it my Danny Tanner kitchen from Full House. Wallpaper, oak cabinets...yuck. The thing that sucks is it's all functional, and good stuff. The appliances, the countertops, everything is simply ugly. I hate to waste tons of money on things that are good. So here is my new idea, tear down the wallpaper, paint the walls a pretty aqua, have a huge modern canvas painting on the large wall (I'll paint it myself), get new cabinet fronts,(lose the arched ones), paint my cabinets white, dark bamboo floors, white gloss subway tile back splash,(or another color still on the fence) and a dark butcher board countertop. Replace hinges, and hardware with stainless steel ones. I'm actually really excited. I think we could do it all for around $2,000. It helps having a hubby who is good with his hands. Here are the pictures for inspiration.

- the bedding is my painting inspiration
- i like the color of the rocks
- and I want the flooring
- i love all the kitchens

I need new lighting in there...I'm excited. I like granite countertops, we used those at our old house...but to be truthful...I want something different, and something unique. Also, the fact they are way cheaper is a plus :)

I need to go to lowes today. Eric is going to get the supplies to make my frames. Yay! I hope they turn out. He did a good job on his test one...so who knows. I'll post pics if they turn out...

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

excited....


It's the little things that get me excited... I just bought Cedric the cutest little shoes online :) I can't wait to get them!!! They are 0-6 months, so he should be able to wear them for awhile. I really need to get back to my to-do list ....

Medical bills...

They suck, period. Carry on....

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

New adventures....

Why oh why do I mention things to Eric. He's out in the garage looking for wood to make me some frames. I found some at ikea I like...showed him and he thinks he can make them. He probably can...but buying them would be much easier.

I have a long list sitting in front of me of things to do.

-thank you cards
-re-hanging my curtains
-making a cd
-mailing the cd
-returning my movies
-repairing a wall
-revamping my website
-find my photo books
-and painting around a window...

Not to mention cleaning and laundry.

Alli is sleeping over tonight. I love having a house full of kids. I took her to get her nails done today...spen tagged along. It was cute. He asked her if she felt like she was on a beach while she was having her nails dry under the lights. I guess all the florida-esq pics on the wall made him think so.

We took Ceddy to the doctor today...he is a chubby little guy. Almost 12 lbs. He had a growth spurt this month. He has been eating non-stop. He can't take over 4 oz or he will spit up...so he will wait 15-20 minutes after a feeding and want more. So I talked with the doctor and he told me to try some cereal...so I did and he LOVED it. His formula already has cereal in it. He's sleeping good right now :) I also added some applesauce to his feeding. He loved that too. I'm going to start feeding him one meal a day. Pediatricians usually don't want solids until later because people are dumb and feed the baby primary solids forgetting the importance of formula. Yes, solids sit on their tummy longer, but they need the fat in formula...fat is essential in a baby's development. People are dumb and usually take the easy way out of everything. Ceddys doing awesome. The doctor prescribed him some more meds too. So we'll see how that works out. Right now paying $138 a month...sucks.

Eric has been off since the day before xmas. It's been nice. ok...off to start that to-do list.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

The New Year...

I can't wait to be skinny again!!! I've started working out...jogged some yesterday and plan to work out in a few. I miss my old body :( Having a baby will do that to you.

It's snowing out...very pretty. I would love to go skiing but it cost so much. I hung out with Scott last night. Had fun. I miss him when he's away. I hate he lives so far away and I hate I have yet to visit him. I'm such a bad friend. I think Eric and I will go up in the spring. It's funny how much we are alike. I need to have a dinner party. I always say I will have one when he's here...but it never happens.

Christmas was awesome this year. Spen had a great one. He got his DS and that's about all he cared about. He got a bunch of other stuff...but the DS has been glued to his hand. It was too cute, when he opened the wrapping paper he was like I'm not supposed to have one, I'm not supposed to have one...lol. He lost his gameboy and I vowed he would not have a DS until he was older. I lied. Cedric slept xmas morning. It was cute though eric and I had him play with his toys the night before. Next year will be different. Both boys will be opening gifts. I feel bad, Eric made the huge traditional christmas breakfast and I fell asleep. I crashed hard. We stayed up playing santa so late and I woke up at 6am with anticipation of spen opening his gifts. I'm a big kid. My kid is a weirdo...he didn't wake up until 8am...wth. He's different than I am. I actually had to go wake him up.

We spent time with both families...ate way too much and crashed. This was a good year. Cedric LOVES his jumper...it's funny...he's so tiny...but he loves to bounce. I think the little guy has a stomach bug. I called the Doctor and got some info on what to do. I think he's fine...just will feed him some cereal and pedialyte when he wakes from his nap.

My little guy will be 2 months the 28th. He seems like he has been here longer than just two months. He's so sweet...he laughs and smiles all the time. He's a love bug. He loves to be kissed and held. He's just like spen was. Spen loved being held. Hell, I carried that kid around forever. I can't believe how tall he is now. He'll soon catch up to me.

I found a new baby boutique I will have to check out searching for a knitting store.

ok...pointless blog...off to work out.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

We now have food...


WE survived the grocery. I'm super excited how well spen did with pushing cedric in the stroller. I was worried he would get bored or crash into things. Nope...he did awesome. It helped cedric slept the whole time.

I have a new obsession. Pacifier holders. I can't wait to start making some. They are cheap to make and I can buy some cute ribbon and make all types. I bought one at target and I love the function of it.

I also can't wait to start working again on the house. Spen's bathroom is my next project. It's going to be a super mario theme. I don't know who is more excited...spen or eric. I have to strip wallpaper :( I'm not looking forward to that. I hate wallpaper!

I need to go get ready. I have to go to the funeral home. My cousin died. I hate funerals...this just sucks. I hate death.

sleepy...

We didn't get to bed until late last night and the baby decided he needed to be fed 3x's throughout the night. So I'm dragging today. We had fun at the boat. It was hilarious watching everyone trying to eat crab legs. I think we wore more of the meat than actually eating it. Eric and Joe did a good job showing us how to properly eat them...but somehow we didn't quite grasps the concept. Eric and I were not big winners...kinda saw that coming. But it was fun just to play. I had a really good time seeing everyone. It was nice to be out of the house...kid free and among adults. We took spen to the dundee candy shop. LOVE IT! The staff were super sweet and were all over the baby. He's a ladies man already. Spen is nuts..of all the homemade candy he could buy...he bought laffy taffy. Whatever. I picked up some chocolate covered gummybears. Yummy. I kinda froze on my decision. They had so many sweets to choose from.

I'm losing more weight...which is HARD to do during the holidays. Slowly but surely I will be back to my pre-pregnancy size. I did have a small accomplishment the other day...I could wear my pre-pregnancy jeans...just had serious muffin top action going on...but they were zipped! Which is awesome only after not even 2 months.

I need to go to the grocery. DREADING this...I'm taking both kids. I think I'll have spen push the stroller. I need to get a lot of groceries and I can't fit them in the cart with cedric in there. I have not attempted this...so who knows how this will play out. I've taken them before...but not a hardcore shopfest.

Eric and I need to wrap gifts...I guess this will be like every other year...and christmas eve we will be up wrapping. I'm weird and I like to give the illusion of santa..so no gifts are seen under the tree until xmas morning. I do have a few gift bags out and some small gifts for others...but spens are in our closet. That boy is going to flip out this year. We got him a ds...and I will have to video tape his reaction. He lost his gameboy and we told him santa will not bring him another game system because he doesn't take care of them. Well, he will flip out. That boy is so spoiled. Poor cedric is getting screwed..lol. Actually, he's getting some costly stuff too. Toy are nuts these days. I can't believe how $$$ they are. Spen is really only into wii games or pricey board games. I bought him risk. He's been begging for it. He's only six...why should he care about world domination. He also got the new wii resort and all the gadgets that go with it. I think Eric is happy with all spens gifts because he gets to play too. I think it's funny spen wanted an easy bake oven. My mom got it for him. I hate people who refuse to allow their boys to play "cooking" or get them a kitchen. People are dumb...and also fail to remember most chefs are men. We bought spen a play kitchen one year. This year he will be so stoked on his oven. Ok...off to get ready for my grocery adventure...

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Wow....

I have so many things to do...and yet here I sit. I need to get the kids dressed and ready to go to nana's house. On the way over to my mom's I'm going to take them to the candy store off bardstown road. I think I might start a new holiday tradition. It looks like a fun little shop. Nothing like candy and xmas light looking. I have to wait for Eric to get home from work. I also need to run to the store. Target had bottles on sale and I need to get groceries. On top of all this...Eric and I are going out for a kid free evening with some friends. Yay! I haven't been out in awhile. I think we are going to the boat. Last time I went there was years ago? I wish I could find my memory stick for my camera. It's so tiny for my point and shoot.
Ok..off to get ready.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Jumping in...

I've been discussing things with Eric and we both agree I need to get a studio space outside of the house. I hate having clients in my house. I want my business separate from my home life. I found some cheap space...I just don't have the revenue to lease it...but I'm not going to have the funds until I lease something. It's a catch 22. I'm not sure what I will do. I plan on going and checking out the space. I might have to take out a business loan. Something I REALLY do not want to do. My work is picking up. My main concern is this...I do not want to be working for space. I would like to make a profit. It's a sticky situation...and I'm really not sure how to proceed. I have a bunch of things I need to get in line before I jump into leasing. But I'm ready to get my studio out of my theater room... The only plus to having it here is there is no overhead. But with saving money I'm exposing my family and home to strangers.

I need to go to target..I need diapers,formula and some pacifiers for Cedric's stocking stuffers. I'm dreading the crowds...so her I sit.

Life is so nuts right now...I'm really just in a whirlwind trying to find solid ground. All I can do is breathe. I need to go for a jog. Jogging clears my head...it helps me think. I might go for one when Eric gets home. I used to run all the time...now I never do. It will make me feel tons better. I need to buy a jogging stroller. I sold mine over a year ago...I thought it would be a longer time for babies.

I think I'm going to go work out...I need to stop being so lazy.

Monday, December 14, 2009

It's a monday.....

This weekend went by fast. I dyed my hair, got it cut...and started working out...I even managed to paint my nails...I'm on my way to feeling normal. My hair looks awesome. Although, I wanted to get it done by Chris...I am broke...so I did most myself..besides the cut. I need to clean and do laundry. Took the boys xmas pics....spen did not want to partake in the event...and cedric was out cold. I give up. I want to do a family portrait...but screw that. I will probably in the spring. The baby will be able to sit up then. My mom came over and watched the boys. Eric and I got our xmas shopping done. Eric is just as bad as me with buying gifts. He wanted to get spen everything. This will be an awesome xmas for spen. Cedric...he's getting screwed..lol. He's just getting a few stuff. I already gave him one gift...his play mat. I did buy him a jumper thingy...it was regular 99 bucks...I got it for 74. small victory. It's so adorable..cedric will smile if you smile at him. He's so sweet. He loves to cuddle. He's just like spen was. Today was yearbook pics for spen. Yes, elementary schools have year books...funny. Spen had to wear his cub scout uniform and chess club shirt. Spen did such an awesome job at his chess tournament...came in 2nd out of 60 kids and it was his 1st match. He's so smart. He's an older soul...he's just different than other kids. As a baby..he was different. I think he's going to have some of his friends over to spend the night this winter break. I don't want him bored. I have so many things to do...so off to do them.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Today...






I had to take some pics of Cedric looking dapper in his letterman sweater. He was falling over laughing in the one pic..the other he was in his swinger starring at me wondering what the hell I was up to.


I have a long list sitting in front of me of things that need to be done...and I'm taking a break for the moment...checking out on life. I scored some sleep today...all be it was only 2 hours and it was interrupted sleep...it was sleep none the less. I have some energy. Which is nice. I went in for my 6 week check up today. Everything was good. I have to go back next month for my pap. I love my dr's office. Although it's the busiest in the land...I love them. I also stopped by Eric's work today with the baby. Then we went out for lunch. Some crazy man sat down beside us...which kinda put a damper on the mood. Of all the free tables at Ermins...crazy man had to sit down by us and start rubbing his head in his crazy way. Oh well...pointless.

things to do...
put a stamp on the mail I tried to send yesterday...I didn't notice I didn't put one of the envelope. I'm that tired.

edit pics.

clean

wash bottles

wash clothes

set up a hair appointment

work out...hahhahaaaaa...think about doing so while watching tv eating ice cream.

make xmas gifts.

shop online for xmas gifts

fill out insurance information

fill out and send birth announcements

print pics

send netflix back

and tons more....and this is just for tonight.

I think I'm going to take some photography classes. I need to brush up and it never hurts to learn more. I spoke with Eric about the vasectomy. We are kinda both on the fence about it. Dr. Bell's husband is a urologist so I got his number today. We both might want one more kid. I know I had a lot of issues with Cedric but we both talked about not knowing if we want to close the door on that option forever. I love kids...I just want to be able to afford and love the ones we have. My outlook on the situation is...never say never and who knows...life is funny. I just HATE being pregnant. Give it another 6 years and I'll forget how bad it was.

I need to go xmas shopping. I'm going to look around online tonight and see if I can find some things. The wind is awful outside...I can hear it. My xmas decorations were blowing across my yard today...so I had to put them up in the garage. Yet, another thing I will have to put back up.

Well, off to look around online then edit pics.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Hormones suck...

Today is one of those days you want to crawl back in bed and throw the covers over your head. I think it's the weather and my hormones. I feel guilty for everything right now. I should be cleaning...I should be putting up the rest of my xmas stuff, and I should be xmas shopping. But I have no energy. I think it's some of the baby blues, and lack of sleep. I'm tired most days. I need to work out every other day...but I'm lucky if I get one day in a week. My body is falling apart...I feel old. I know it's the fact I just had a baby...I just wish it would snap back into shape. That would be nice. I need to go shopping and buy some more clothes that fit. I did score a cool steve madden coat at marshalls. I need to buy some skinny jeans for my boots. Blahhhhhhhhhh. I hate shopping lately. Which is not like me at ALL. But I too do not have the energy for it. I think I'm going to go look online for the boys some xmas outfits instead of driving around town for them. This blog is a total bitchfest. I hate being negative...so on a brighter note I scored a sony flat screen tv for my bedroom today for a sweet price. It's eric and my xmas gift. Since we now live in our bedroom we needed a nicer tv. I'm going to give spen our old one, then the baby will get spens. It was meant to be. It was the very last black friday sale tv. Eric is happy and on cloud nine.

Cedric is smiling now. It's so sweet. He coo's and tries to talk. He moves his little mouth...it's too cute. Ok...pointless blog...now I will go put bows on my wreaths for outside.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

things to be thankful for...

I'm truly thankful this thanksgiving. god has blessed me so much. i have two beautiful kids. spen is full of wonder and has the biggest heart. he helps out so much with cedric and he is just a great kid. he has an imagination that cracks me up and a mind that yearns for more knowledge. couldn't ask for a better son. cedric is healthy. i thank god for that. he is the sweetest baby and i know he'll grow to follow in spens shoes and have a golden heart. lastly, my husband...we have made it through so much. Hand in hand, laughing, crying, smiling...we have experienced so much. my love for this man grows everyday. love the ones you have in your life and let them know. happy thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Good news

Cedric's thyroid test came back normal. I'm so happy. It was probably cross contamination from my thyroid meds. It could have been a big deal if he had hypothyroidism. It can cause mental retardation and delays in growth.
I'm so thankful he is healthy. Yay!!!!!!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Hummm....





Cute new baby pics... I'm iffy on them..he looks like a doll...and it looks fake....or it looks whimsical. I can't decide.

things on my mind...

- I must lose weight...I refuse to buy any nice new clothes. I need to lose asap. I hate being fat. I have lost over 30 pounds in less than three weeks...but I have a lot more to go. I balloon up when I'm pregnant.

- Having babies inspires my artistic side. It's funny...I always want to paint or create after a baby. But the down side is I never have the time or energy.

- I need hair help. My hair looks horrid. I need to do something to my hair...but I have no idea what.

- I can't wait to christmas shop. Now...only if I had the money to do it.

- I have so many phone calls I need to return. I'll do that later...I'm having a me moment.

- I've been cleaning non-stop. Cleaned three bathrooms, and my kitchen. Next will be laundry.

- I actually exercised a little today :)

- I love my two little boys...they both melt my heart with their smiles. I'm going to take spen to star bucks in a few for a mini mommy and spen date. My kid is such a snob...lol.

- I'm in the mood to hop in bed and watch the outsiders and eat a tub of ice cream...and a huge bowl of popcorn. But alas, that will not happen...so off to get dressed, wash clothes and go on my date.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

The mall transaction...

So today we decided to go to the mall. I had a gift card for the gap for Cedric and I needed to get some facial soap and lotion. We loaded the family up and headed to Oxmoor. We had a good time. It's hard getting used to traveling with a newborn. Especially, if you are breastfeeding. It's an ordeal to leave the house. But things were going great and we had a good time. Just as we are leaving we run into Phillip in the parking lot. Actually, he yelled Spen's name out until we turned around. I swear the sight of that man makes my skin crawl. Running into ex's is always awkward, but more so when your ex really isn't supposed to have contact with you or your child outside of supervision. He knows this, but he was with a new lady and I'm sure he had to appear to be the great father. How do you acknowledge someone who abused you? How do you say hello to someone who made your life a living hell, who physically, mentally and verbally beat you down on a daily basis? Better yet...how do you pretend he's a normal person and that him hugging your child doesn't make you want to protect your child from his abuse? It took every bit of strength for me to not yell at that girl to run. To stay away...to get out before she couldn't. But it's only a matter of time before she'll see his abuse. I wanted to turn around and just keep walking...but for spens sake I didn't. I allowed the two to hug and say hi...even though I wanted to vomit. This man acting as though he loves Spen, but yet could go a whole year without seeing him. How he could have a complete meltdown in front of him and claim his child was a liar and that he never lost it in front of Spen. I thank God I got away from him...I survived. I also thank God the court system saw how truly crazy he is and gave the supervised visitation they did. I feel sorry for spen. I hate that he has to deal with this. But it didn't phase him. To him Phil is merely the wacky uncle he sees at the home of the innocents. He knows Phil is his father, but he doesn't see him in that light. Phil never has been a "father" to him. So Spen said hi, hugged and that was it. No biggie to Spen. We walked away as our little family hand in hand. It just sucks, sometimes my past creeps in and depresses me...I hated my life with him...and I try to forget what I had to endure. So I squeezed Eric's hand in the car and he kissed my hand back...I thank God for my life now.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Baby Cedric is here...









We are beyond ecstatic. Our beautiful little guy is here. I don't have much time for a proper update...so I'll give you the basics...

- I got induced on the 28th. Had the easiest birth known to man. I was actually laughing during it. Four pushes and he was out. Thank God for drugs. My doctor even turned to her student and told her this isn't how it normally is and she makes this look easy. I think my body loves for the babies to make a quick exit. I didn't feel any pain..it's was absolutely fabulous! I did feel some contractions in the beginning but they gave me my epidural very fast...so that wasn't that big of a deal. Eric did awesome. He was loving, funny and kept his cool. He ended up watching the birth, he was afraid to. But my doctor talked him into looking and he was mesmerized. He said he's so happy he watched. He took such good care of me in the hospital and of Cedric. He is awesome. We cried together when everyone left the room..just holding each other and being completely over whelmed with emotions. I love that man so much. Cedric was born at 1:17 pm, 19.5 inches long, and 7.10 pounds. He is so tiny. He's also a hairy little monkey. It's funny because he looks a lot like spen. He has birthmarks on his face, but they have already started to fade. They are just the stork marks. They fade in time. He is so sweet.

Fast forward and we came home...he started to turn blue during a few feedings. We ended up having to rush him to Kosair a few hours from being released from the hospital. I can honestly say I was so scared. Kosair was awesome..they took such good care of all of us. They did a multitude of tests. At first they thought it was his heart. I was so freaked out. I couldn't stop crying. Eric was so strong. He was my rock. He kept telling everything will be ok. Well, they did an ekg, an echo cardiogram and all the tests came back normal. Thank God. Then they did an upper gi. We were there during it and we saw how fast his acid reflux kicked in. Within seconds of them giving him a drink and laying him on his back, he spit up. We were able to watch in on xray and actually see how far it went down his Eustachian tube. Then the radiologist lays a bomb on us...she says he has a malrotation of his intestine and would require surgery. I lost it. My poor baby was laying on the table only a few days old and had to have emergency surgery. They said the surgeon and his team would come up to our room and talk to us. The doctor on call came in and discussed things with us. I asked when would he need surgery...in my mind I was thinking a week, a few days...time to get him a little bigger...but the doctors response scared me to death...he said no...he will have it today. I was freaked out. He told us it could be life threatening. WTF, my mind was swirling. I was in pain from delivery ( I couldn't take my pain killers because I needed a clear mind )and I was terrified of losing my little baby. In the ER there was a really nice doctor. I kept crying and I kept apologizing. I told him it was my hormones, and he said...it's also your baby is sick. That rang in my ears over and over again. So Eric and I waited for the surgeon, prayed and held each other. I can honestly say, I was a mess. I called my mom weeping..made arrangements for spen to come to the hospital. I had as many people I knew praying for him. It was truly a horrific experience I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I wept when they placed my baby in this huge metal crib...I cried saying he hadn't even been in his crib at home. He has been through so much, he had to have an iv, be stuck a million times for tests and have a catheter after he was circumcised. He was hooked up to 4 monitors. If he moved they would go off...so eric and I really couldn't rest. It was just awful. Then a miracle happened. I praise God for this. The surgeon and his team came in ( which they were all so nice ) and he said he did not have the malrotation. His intestine is just lower than normal. He said he would not operate on my healthy baby. He said he has severe acid reflux. He said if medicine does not work then he may have to operate on him for that down the road, but he said he was healthy. The acid reflux operation is also very easy and common. In a matter of minutes my world was made right again. I could have kissed that doctor...he had given me the best news of my life. I cried, and eric and I just held each other. We were in the hospital all weekend coming home sunday night. I thank God for all my blessings. He has blessed me with beautiful children and a man who I adore and respect more than life itself. Eric has helped me out so much, and never complains when I ask him to do something. I feel like we got robbed of our happy moments home with Cedric, but I'm so happy he's alright. His meds have really helped him and he's doing good now, knock on wood. He sleeps on an incline, and we have to burp him often during a feeding and hold him for 30 minutes to an hour after feeding. But he is my sunshine and piece of heaven. He's so sweet and I just thank God for my life.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

So....buttons...

Ok..I went to target yesterday and loaded up on some b-day goodies. It was funny the boys were with me and helped me pick out some stuff. I got a new scarf (which I'm in love with),new sun glasses( mine kept falling apart), new shoes( I can't wear any of my old ones besides flip flops...so I bought a new pair of leopard print flats..too cute), and I got some cute earrings from spen. They are silver chandlers. Adorable!!! I can't wait to get some boots...but those will wait. It was funny because the boys had opinions of what I should buy...mostly differing from mine...they're cute. We looked for some black pants for the baby but couldn't find any so we had to get gray ones to go with his skeleton onesie. Eric had picked out a skeleton hat the other day. Can't wait for him to get here. Spen, is going to spend the night with my mom on Friday and on Halloween. I don't think I'll feel up to walking around or dealing with a bunch of kids.

Ok, my nesting is kicking in...and it's with designing stuff. Eric hates it..lol. But once I have the baby and feel up to it I'm going to paint my tray ceiling a metallic color. I'm debating on a harlequin pattern ceiling. I was laying in bed today and it hit me...it needs to be painted and I love that design. Who knows when it will get done?

We found out spen cannot be in the hospital at all when we have the baby. The waiting room is the only place...but that is full of people and germs and what is the point if he doesn't get to see the baby? Because of the flu season no one under the age of 16 is allowed on the actual floors. I was crushed as well as spen with the news. So Eric who is a super genius had a great plan. We will have a web chat with him once the baby is born. Eric will bring his laptop and webcam and spen can log on at my moms. My older brother will be watching him. I think it will be fun and he will feel included. Hopefully, everything works out.

Ok..off to eat a late breakfast.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Things on my mind...



- I have the most loving hubby in the world. He made me my anniversary gift last night. A baby pouch sling. They retail like 39 plus in the store. I picked out the fabric the other day and he ran out and bought a sewing machine on my b-day. ( Complete shocker because I was going to have my mom make it ) Mine broke some years back and never got around to replacing it. He did an awesome job. I LOVE it. He's so freaking talented. I have enough extra fabric to make another one. I'll make that one a little bigger for when the baby is older. The one I have now is for newborns. Eric was joking saying I was going to force him into sewing them for me and selling them on etsy. He's silly. (The pic is of my testing it out with an old baby doll) I love itttttt....



- I'm about to go crazy if I don't have this baby soon.

- I'm as big as a house...

- I need to clean my house...I had Eric bring the vacuum upstairs today. That's a start.

- I'm thankful for all the blessings I have. Wonderful friends, family and life. I praise God for that.

- I'm scared to deliver. I know I've done it before...still not something one fancies everyday. Well, unless your a sadomasochist.

- I'm nervous about Cedric's health and mine. I think all moms go through this. Having miscarried, it can leave you bitter and scared. I won't feel true relief until he is placed in my arms.

- I think it's fun to keep teasing Eric about a vasectomy. Makes men squirm.

- We have a date for induction set. Next Wednesday. That's the day my doctor does her rotation. I have to go in at 10 pm Tuesday night. I'm super excited!!! I'm not sure what I will do with spen. I might see if my mom can come over and sleep at my house because it's a lot closer to the hospital. I might progress fast..who knows... I found out the baby is 8 pounds something...I'm measuring 39 weeks. The PA laughed yesterday when I asked if the baby was around 6 pounds. She felt my tummy and was like...no, more around 8 something. She also said I"m now 4 cm. dilated, still 60% effaced. She stripped my membranes yesterday too. Not very comfortable...hopefully, it will work and send me into labor. Who knows...

ok....off to clean and then to target.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Happy Birthday to me...

I love birthdays...I'm a weirdo I know. But ever since I was little my mom always made such a big deal about them. I used to think I was so special on my b-days growing up and to be honest I still do a little...lol. It's not the attention..it's just the one day of the year that is your very own. Weird I know. Mine were always so exciting and fun. My mom would always get me hyped about them. It's kinda like Christmas or Halloween...like my very own private holiday. I always try to make spens b-days magical and exciting. We're not doing anything fancy this year. I'm too big to move comfortably and I don't really know what I would want to do. I know my mom is going to bring over a cake for me later and Eric is going to take spen out shopping. I've been having light contractions on and off...so who knows. It would be funny if Cedric came today or tomorrow. Tomorrow Eric and I will have been married for 3 years. Doesn't seem very long when you say it. But to us it seems like we have been together for many years. I have no idea what we will do. Maybe we can have a picnic where he proposed to me in cherokee park. I could get a little walking in too. That sounds fun. I might get some take out and have him meet spen and me there for dinner. Tomorrow is spen's chess club meeting. Dang, this kid has a busy schedule. I'll have to figure something out.

Boots..are my new obsession. Eric laughs at me. I was looking around online at a few pairs and he just thinks I'm silly for liking riding boots. I tried to explain to him they are this falls fashion "it" item. Over his head. He just does not get it. I was thinking about getting me a pair for my b-day but my feet are swollen so who knows. Off to get dressed.

Monday, October 19, 2009

I'm sleepy...

I wish this kid would come already. I've lost pieces of my plug...spotted for two days and had contractions on and off all weekend. I throw my hands up in the air...I give up. Tomorrow is my birthday. I'm really not that excited about it. I don't feel like doing anything...and I don't really want anything but a new pair of boots and some makeup. I did see a cute pair of earrings.

I need to walk today. I might go shopping at TJ max. They have adorable and cheap baby clothes. Depends if I can pry myself away from the computer and tv screens.

Current things on my mind...

-I'm mad that I can't see my doctor this week...I have to see the PA because all the dr's are over booked. I'll call each day to see if they have a cancellation.

-I need to advertise more on my business.

-I need to clean and do dishes...I probably won't.

-I've been super tired the last few days.

-I had fun walking at cherokee park this weekend.

-My three year anniversary is on Wednesday. I know what I'm getting eric, I just don't know what we will do. We're lame this year...and have no big thrills planned but having a baby.

-I wish this kid would come already.

-We bought a pumpkin last night...I'm happy...and spen is happy.

-Spen keeps asking me every 15 minutes if I'm going to the hospital to have the baby yet, or am I going to go today.

-I had weird dreams all last night.

-I crashed last night..and slept really hard...as I did the night before...sweet sleep I have missed.

-I hate dealing with jealous crazy people. For some reason my existence invokes them. Let me live my life...and you not be so crazy and live yours. That would be nice.

-I want new boots...but my feet are swollen :( Not sure what size to get.

-Spens gym teacher is a cock. I have never met the man...but I don't feel that I need to. I feel I can fully understand his douchebagness from the mere choice of language and attitude spen has informed me of. I'm sorry if we all do not aspire to be ex football players and elementary school P.E. teachers. I actually do want to meet him to inform him of his lack of tack and cockness. But people like that don't get it...they can't transfer emotions outward nor feel emotions other than what a game can supply. So my words would be wasted on a wall of assholeness.

-I have bills to pay....rolling eyes...no fun there.

*****I just got an early b-day gift..anthem and bluecross settled!!! So Cedric can be born At Suburban Hospital!!! Yay!!!! I'm beyond excited. Maybe this is what he has been holding out for??? Who knows...I'm totally stoked!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, October 16, 2009

I'm off bed rest..woo hooooo!!!!

The doctor told me to go shopping,walking and have sex. She told me to go have my baby. I'm 3 cm dilated, 60% effaced and the baby is -2 station. So I've been up and shopping all day. I went to the new target yesterday. It was nice, and I think I'll like it when it gets more merchandise. It was kinda skimpy. I looked for spen some school and fall clothes. I didn't come up with much. Eric picked out Cedric a hat. I need to go to old navy and buy some more stuff for the boys. I refuse to buy me anything cute until I lose weight. New clothes will be my reward for losing weight. As for a b-day gift I think I'm going to go to sephora and buy some makeup. Eric and I can go out to eat and then go shopping there. I need some new makeup and body wash. I do want a new pair of boots too. I'll look around the mall if I haven't had the baby yet. I don't know what we will do for our anniversary. I'm too big to go anywhere...and I don't/can't travel anywhere. So who knows...maybe a nice meal out. I know what I'm getting Eric. He deserves a good gift. He'll flip out when he gets it.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Still preggos....

Still pregnant..still on bed rest. No fun.

Updates:
-The weather is awesome.
-My house is a mess.
-My grass needs cut.
-My son needs to learn some digression.
-I'm ready to give birth.
-I want to put some halloween decorations up asap.
-I'm craving queso.
-I can't wait to workout.
-I can't wait to get started on my business.
-I need to get all my ducks in a row with my business.
-I love my hubby...even if he drives me crazy at times.
-I want to do something different to my hair.
-I've had a bad case of the giggles lately.
-I missed going to the zoo party.
-I have raided spens candy bag already this morning.
-I need to clean my room...but can't.
-I did a no no yesterday.
-I don't understand how Michelle Duggar keeps her kids from falling out of her. How does her vagina and uterus even function..hell her bladder for that matter?
-I need to take a family portrait of my whole family.
-I can't wait to start shooting again.
-I love looking at commercial rental space online. It's fun to dream.
-I need to buy my dad a b-day gift..today is his birthday.
-I miss shopping.
-I hate I can't go to my new target. Sucks. My hubby is so cute...he won't go without me. He said he wants to go with me.
-I'm excited about this up coming year. I think it will be an awesome year!!!
-I can't wait to take my business classes.
-This is pointless. Period.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Up all night...

Not partying, but rather with braxton hicks or contractions. I'm not really sure which ones they were. I was so tired. I tried everything...finally they stopped around 8 am. Go figure. I was determined to not go into labor with the rain pouring like it was last night. Eric was so cute. He stayed home this morning to see if they returned. Since they didn't...I sent him off to work. Co-sleeper just arrived. It's too heavy for me to carry so it will sit on my front porch. I can't wait to put it together. Soon my swinger will arrive...yippie...everything is coming together...ok..off to bed.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Laying around....

So the doctor continued my bed rest. She said her goal is to get me to 38 weeks. At 37 weeks the chance of lung problems are 1% and at 38 weeks it's non-existent. So, I'll lay around for 10 more days roughly.

Eric's dad bought us the swinger...I'm excited. My co-sleeper comes on friday, and I'm not sure when the swinger will arrive. But all major things have been purchased. The breast pump and bottles are our last real buy, but I'm waiting until I deliver to decide on them. I might rent a bf pump from my dr's office or the hospital and I want to see what bottles work well with the model. I also want to see what the lactation consultant suggests. It's happening...and coming to an end soon. I'm excited. I can't wait for him to be here. It seems like I've been pregnant a small eternity. The doctor said nothing has changed and I'm still 2 cm dilated and %50 effaced. She thinks I can make it to 38 weeks.

Poor Eric and spen...yesterday Eric had a bad migraine. He got sick with this one. He does that sometimes. Well, he was too sick to take spen to his chess club meeting. Spen understood. But I hate he had to miss his 1st meeting. Tonight Eric will take spen to cub scouts. He's such a good dad. And I...I will sit on my fat ass. I hate it...it's driving me crazy. I am a person who has to stay busy...and it's driving me nuts. I'm also nesting...and I cannot nest!!! It's annoyingggggggggggg. I know things could be so much worse...and I thank God they are not. I just can't wait to have Cedric and be up and about. I can't wait to start working out. I want to wear my old jeans again. Hell, I just want to be able to bend.

I miss shopping. I can't wait to shop again...it's my addiction and comfort. Online shopping isn't the instant gratification high I love.

The house is staying somewhat clean while I'm down. I'm shocked. Spen and eric are doing ok. I'm the cleaner in the family..and those two can be two tornadoes. But I really wouldn't care if someone walked in the house...it's pretty clean.

Eric's dad and his wife are coming up in november. Not sure where they are going to stay. Maybe with us. We have a 5 bedroom house, and all bedrooms are dedicated spaces. I think they can crash in the basement. It has more privacy and we can use the air mattress or our old queen mattress for them. Who knows. It's funny my nesting isn't so much with cleaning as much as painting and redesigning spaces. I want to work on spen's bathroom terribly. Hell, I want to repaint mine, and I'm so excited to start on the kitchen. We need to tear the wallpaper down in there and light it with a match...I think that might help it.

Ok...off to look for some class info.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Yesterday day sucked.......

If it could go wrong it did. I had a little pity party and now i'm over it. I'm super duper excited I got my pixie cap for Cedric. I'm also excited my co-sleeper will be here on Friday...the baby will have a place to sleep in our room for a while. I know...the kid has a nursery...but co-sleeping is so much easier for breastfeeding. I also hate the idea of leaving a newborn alone...considering they have never been alone during their little life span. He won't sleep in our bed...learned that one the hard way. Spen didn't get out of my bed until he was 3. Ummmm...no. We are doing attached parenting. I agree with a lot of the beliefs it has to offer. I love that Eric agrees too. He's such a good daddy already to spen. Tomorrow he has to take spen to his chess club meeting. My little guy is such the nerd..lol. Then Thursday is cub scouts. I need to look online for some cool graphics for Eric and Spen's "game room". Eric is constructing an arcade down stairs. Joe brought over street fighter ( i think) so that will go with the two other ones he already has down there. I say whatever keeps eric sane...go for it.

I can't wait for the baby to get here. I want to start working out...and be normal again. I think this will probably be Eric and my last biological child. We've discussed it...and with all the problems I have at the age of 27...Lord knows how hard the next pregnancy will be. We want maybe one more child...so we'll adopt. Yesterday, at the home of the innocence it broke my heart seeing the kids playing outside. I hate that they do not have homes. I hate that don't have mommies. When I go there...I think about the little things..like who takes care of the kids when they are sick, or who rocks them to bed when they have nightmares. Breaks my heart. So our next baby will be adopted.

I know Eric and I will weep like babies when Cedric is born. We tried for what seemed a small eternity, lost a baby, and then were told to go on meds to conceive. We've had our ups and downs..even with this pregnancy. From the very beginning, thinking it was ectopic, to all the health issues, to preterm labor. But Eric has held my hand and wiped away all my tears. He's such an amazing man...and I thank God for him. So when this little miracle is born...we will cry like babies..lol. It's funny, with spen..he came easy. I got pregnant fast, and had a fast delivery. I was in a horrible relationship, and I didn't get to see the true miracle of life. I was so happy when he was born...he was my first, he was my life. It's going to be weird being the mom of two...when it's been one for so long. But i've never seen myself the mom of just one child. I come from a family of four, and I've always wanted at least 2 or 3 kids running around. I hate quiet homes.

Ok...I really want to go to the Caufields parade on friday and I really want to go to hubers. Maybe in a week the baby will be here and I will be able to enjoy some of october happenings. I might see if Eric will take spen to the parade. I wish I could go :( Oh well. That's life.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Flu shots..

I need to get Eric and Spen their flu shots. I've never done this before. But considering Spen catches EVERYTHING and the baby will be here shortly, I think it's a good idea. I need to call and make appointments for the shots. I got mine from my ob. I'll probably have the baby before the H1N1 shot comes out. I think I'll still get the shot though. I hate putting virus's in my body. I really hate doing it to spencer. But if it keeps him from getting sick...I think it will be worth it.

I'm ready for this kid to be here. Peeing every 30 minutes in the middle of the night is not fun. Nor is not being able to roll over. I told Eric as soon as I've reached 37 weeks...my butt will be up and running around. I will start walking to induce labor. I am readyyyyyyy. As soon as this kid is born...my work out regiment shall begin. I have gained way too much weight with this kid. Even though I have not gained as much as I did with spen...I have gained. I miss my old body.

I need to get back to work. I miss it..and I can't wait to jump head first back into shooting. I miss that a lot. I miss the people...the action. I just can't wait.

Ok...pointless blog.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

laying in bed...blah

ok...so I've been having pre-term labor. yesterday the baby dropped. I could feel him lower. My stomach also looks lower. Well, last night my stomach was doing funky stuff and today my contractions were worse. I could feel pressure and i was having more than 5 contractions an hour. So long story short...eric came home..took me to the hospital..they put me on the monitors and said they were mild and that it's just preterm labor..which of course my contractions dwindled down once i got a room...lol. But I am progressing. I'm 50% effaced, 2 full cm dilated and the baby is head down in the birth canal. He has not engaged fully. She said basically I can go at any time so I need to be off my feet and on bed rest. Funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. I just need to keep him in there for two more weeks. It was a good dry run for eric and my family. My mom came along with my brother and dad. My brother and dad took spen back to my house (he's still home from school with his cough) and my mom stayed up at the hospital with me. I have a few things eric has to buy this weekend. Eric was calm and did well on his practice run..lol.ok...sleepy time.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

YAY!!!!

Garage door fixed...one thing checked off the list of many. Only cost me $208. $208 is a lot of money...but it was going to cost me more. The guy worked super fast so we got a lower rate. Yay!!! I think I'm going to have Eric put up some of our halloween stuff this weekend. I may not be able to do it...but I'll be damned if I don't have at least a few decorations around the house. Ok...now to get lunch.

Last night woes...

So the joys of having an asthmatic child who coughs and chokes himself in his sleep. Spen freaked out last night screaming...I ran into his room ( dumb I know I'm on bed rest, but when your baby screams you go running) to find him covered in vomit. FUNNNNNNNNNN. He has this persistent cough from his drainage. He chokes himself with it...and he gagged himself in his sleep and made himself get sick. He had it all over his head. He was scared he had the stomach flu. I told him no...he just gagged himself. Poor Eric cleaned up the mess while I took him off to the shower. My poor baby. I wish he would feel better and his nose would dry up. We go through this every change of season. He had a cold and I think his allergies are playing a role too. I just hate it for him.

I put some of the baby stuff away. I have some stuff I need to go buy, but I will have to send Eric out to buy them. I need to still get a breast pump and nursing pads along with bottles. I'm going to see how my milk comes in for that stuff...so I guess I'll send him out while I'm in the hospital. I still need a nursing gown. It's annoying because I waited to get some stuff thinking I could before the baby was born. Grrrrr..no such luck.

I still need to get a bassinet or a co-sleeper too. We'll figure something out. I found one cheaper at walmart online...it's a co-sleeper for $99. That's cheaper than the $189 I originally wanted. I need to get my butt in gear and start ordering stuff. Ok..off to make some phone calls.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I need to learn how to walk...

I fell yet again last night...or shall I say this morning. It was 1 or 2 am. Spen woke me up coughing and I had to pee for the 100th time that night. I got out of bed and tripped over all the bags I had eric bring up from the shower...(I wanted to go through them in bed) and thank God I caught myself on my knees and hands. I ended up scaring eric to death. He jump up in bed asking what was wrong. It was kinda funny once I realize I wasn't hurt. I made a lot of noise trying to catch myself with the gift bags. The crazy thing is bags were pushed out of the way. I think I was half asleep and drifted walking. Poor spen has his annual cough. He can't stand drainage and so he coughs. He coughs NON-STOP. Eric got up gave spen a drink, gave him throat spray (already had given him a 12 hr. cough medicine so he couldn't have anything else) and then I gave him nose spray. He fell back asleep soundly. Only to start coughing this morning. I kept him home from school because there is no way in hell they would allow him to stay in class with this cough. It's not a productive cough at all..it's just a habit cough. So I called his doctor (the one he saw just yesterday) and am waiting to see if he will call in a cough medicine. He needs something Strong to relax his throat.

So with all the commotion last night my blood pressure spiked. I could feel it..my body was tingly and my heart was racing a mile a minute...so I laid on my left side and went back to bed.

I'm tired today...and I'm tired of bed rest. Eric thinks I'm going to have the baby on my b-day, adrienne says the 12th and I have no idea. I just want him to be healthy. I still need to do my thank you cards...and put away the gifts from the shower. Ok...off to take a shower.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Update...

Spen just has a head cold...yay! No antibiotics needed. It's funny Eric and the doctor get along really well. Last time he took him he let Eric look inside spens ear to see what an ear infection looks like. It's like no matter how old a man gets they're always little boys wanting to show off their toys..lol.

I'm super stoked on spen just having a head cold. They went ahead and tested him for the flu because Eric told him I'm preggos and about to pop and to be on the safe side they did. I need to get spen a flu shot. I got mine last week. It swelled and bruised...always fun. I can't wait until the baby comes...this weather has gotten me in the mood for autumn. I need to open the windows. I also need to put all the stuff I got from the baby shower up. It's in my living room right now. I need to work on thank you cards too. I might do that today and have Eric carry all the stuff up tonight when he gets home. Sounds like a plan...ok..pointless blog.

I'm going nuts...

This bed rest is driving me nuts. Poor spen is sick. I think he has a sinus or ear infection. He's running a fever and is coughing. He does this every time he gets sick. He coughs because he doesn't like the feeling of drainage in his throat. He coughed all night. He also said he was dizzy. Which leads me to think ear infection. He isn't too lethargic or sick acting. He just said he has a headache. Well, he needs to go to the doctor and I can't take him. His dr. is across town, and I might have to park far off in the parking lot. I don't want to drive by myself too. So Eric is going to take him for me. He has in the past. I just hate not being able to do it. I also hate that I am keeping my distance from him. I really can't get sick right now. Last time I caught his cold I ended up with bronchitis and had to take tons of meds just to get over it. I feel so bad for him...I want to scoop my baby up in my arms and hold him...but I can't. Poor Eric, he is being awesome. He had to take care of him last night...make me dinner, and get up and go into work at 5am. They were shutting power off at 2am at work. Not to mention the times he got up to check to see if the power came back on there. He's such a hard worker. Now he will have to hurry and take spen to the dr and then go back to work. The control freak in me is hating not doing everything myself.

Last night I had cramping in my cervix. I was kinda worried I was going to have to go to the hospital. I laid down and after awhile it stopped. I really don't see this kid staying in there for too much longer. I pray he does....but I know he probably won't.

I'm waiting for spens dr's office to open so I can make an appointment. I go back to the doctors Thursday. I hope both visits go well.

I love my hubby...he deserves a break. He just runs and runs. He's going to crash soon I know. He's taking a week off when the baby comes, and then he will be doing half days for another week or so. He has two weeks he could take...but we want to try to take the second week off during christmas. We're weirdos and love all the fun christmas things. I can't wait...this year we'll have a little baby for xmas.

It's becoming real with all the baby gear around the house. Spen tested out the new stroller yesterday. It was funny...the boys were being boys throwing a baby doll around and in and out of the stroller. I just hope they treat the new baby a little more nicer.

Ok...off to get spen ready for the doctor.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I'm bored...





It just occurred to me that I will miss the opening of the target near my house. Boo hoo...pity party. I have been so stoked on going to it. Oh well, it will be there when I can walk around again. Eric picked up the cutest sweater romper today while shopping for the stroller. I got so many cute clothes. I need to start putting them away. Eric and I really need to get a closet organizer for the spens, and cedrics closets. But oh well...in time.

Here's a few our the goodies we got.

We still need to get the baby swing...and co-sleeper. I'm on the fence about that. I have so many things I need to be doing. I think I might have eric bring the bags up stairs so I can start to organize the baby clothes and work in bed putting clothes on hangers...

Yesterday was a blast...

I need to upload some pics...if I can find some that doesn't make me look like a whale..lol. I had a blast at the baby shower. My mom totally out did herself. A lot more people showed up than I thought. It was full of fun and good food. I think everyone enjoyed themselves. I sat on the couch or in a chair most of the time. I hated I didn't get to make my rounds and talk to everyone. But that's bed rest for you. I felt like crap yesterday. My stomach kept doing weird pings of pain. So I really tried to not over do it. Poor spen was tired and ended up sick. I don't know if it's a head cold or allergies. He had a bad headache and was tired. He and Eric had gotten up early to do the cub scout rocket races. Spen came in second place. Woo hoo...he was so excited. I hated that I had to miss it. But I'm on bed rest..and the other night I was having real contractions...so that's life. I'll see it next year.
It broke my heart last night...spen wanted to curl up on me...I could only have him lay on my legs...and pat him. A. he couldn't get in my face...I don't want to get sick and b. my belly is too big for him to fit on. It broke my heart. Usually, I scoop him up when he's sick.

Eric was so cute at the shower. He was all excited about the baby stuff. We ended up putting together the play yard. It's super cute. Today he's going to get the travel system with the gift cards and money. I feel really blessed to have so many good friends and family members. I need to work on my thank you cards. I also want to have Eric go out to buy some more baby gear. I miss my shopping..lol. I'll live through him. I could shop online..but it's not the instant gratification that I crave.

Ok...off to make phone calls. Ps...thanks to everyone who came out and thanks for all the wonderful gifts...xoxo's!!!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Modified bedrest

I was put on modified bed rest today. Fun...eyes rolling. I have no problems with resting...if I didn't have so much to do. I still need to finish picking up the house for the shower. I need to help my mom hang up decorations. Blah blah blah. I just hope the baby is healthy. I'm only 34 weeks...not yet full term. Hopefully, he will stay in there until 37 weeks. I'm upset..and praying everything turns out fine. I'm trying to look at the bright side...I can catch up on my shows.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Just a little nice pic of Mah Boo....Anderson...




Gotta love the silver fox :) Awww.....giggles.

The nerves...

The nerves are starting to kick in. I'm nervous about delivery. I'm nervous about the baby's health. I'm nervous about Spen and him feeling left out. So reason has to be applied to my crazy mind...

- The delivery. I've done it before...young and dumb and I can do it again..older and wiser. I know what I'm getting into...and God bless modern medicine I hopefully, will not feel anything again. If I do...it's temporary.

- The baby's health. I have done all I can do. I've taken my meds. Stayed active. I'm not running marathons, but I've kept my weight down and I'm not eating 5 arbys...lol. If we are presented with a challenge I pray God gives us the strength to get through it. But mostly, I pray he doesn't. Spen spent the 1st year of his life in physical therapy. Thinking he had CP was scary and the unknown even more scarier. All I can do is love the baby, and give the baby the means to thrive. I have a wonderful partner this time round, and I hope and pray our strength does not have to be tested.

- Spen feeling left out. Eric and I incorporate spen in every avenue of our lives. He is part of us. We plan on doing this with the birth. He won't be in the room, but he will be the third person to hold the baby. Our "plan" notice the quotations...life never works out so smooth...but anyway...our plan is for spen to come in right after delivery...after the baby is somewhat cleaned up. Then have a little bonding time as a family. In theory. In fact...I'll probably deliver while Eric and Spen are camping next month with the cub scouts. My luck...in the tub or on the toilet...I'm clueless like that. Eric and spen have a really good bond now. They are both so damn excited about the cub scouts. They're working on a rocket for this weekends races. Spen follows eric around the house while he does projects. It's cute. I'm truly blessed...I thank God everyday for such a wonderful family. Watch this kid will be the spawn of satan...lol. I was lucky with spen...he was the perfect baby. They say you never get lucky twice. Fingers crossed I do.

I hate hormones. I've been on the verge of crying over the dumbest things. I've also been so freaked out lately. I feel sorry for Eric because I know I'm driving him nuts. I'm driving myself nuts.

I can't wait to start working out again. I know weird. But I want to get back into shape...and now with my meds I feel so much better. It's scary how run down I was feeling before my thyroid meds. I thought I was crazy or had a disease. It's amazing what a little pill can do for you.

I can't wait for the shower this weekend. I'm looking forward to all the wee little baby clothes. I love baby clothes. They're soooo cute and tiny. Ok off to clean.

Monday, September 21, 2009

It's a monday fo sureeeee.





Yay...The nursery is just about done. I need to buy a floor lamp and bring my glider from the basement to upstairs. I also need to hang the blinds...but woo hoo. Eric did such an awesome job painting. I love it. I think it's fun, and has a cute baby feel to it. Best of all...all the decals can come off the wall...no sanding. I love murals...but they screw your walls up.

It was so cute today. I was on the phone with my mom and I got a call and the caller id said jefferson county. So I knew instantly is was spens school. I knew either he was sick or hurt. So I click over and I hear this tiny voice asking if I have time if I could bring his library books up to school. It was funny. I was taken aback expecting it to be an adult...not spen. He was so happy when he saw me bringing them in. I remember freaking out over things like that.

Last night I ordered a bear kit for spen to make cedric. Spen and I made his "beary" as he has lovingly named him. He loves him and still sleeps with him. The bear looks like a little creature now...lost fur and the stuffing is hanging out. But that's his pride and joy. I searched all over the internet looking for the same kit and I found one for 4 bucks on ebay. I was so excited. I bought it and spen and I will make one for the new baby. Spen was excited too.

I need to clean so much today. It's really sad the shape my house is in. I need to touch up painting some places down stairs. My to do list could go on forever...so with that I shall start it.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Bored..


I'm waiting for Eric to get home...and I was looking online for a funky new hair do. I stumbled upon this one. I'm tired of my plain jane hair...so after the baby is born I'm thinking about doing this. I want a new look...yes, yet again. Eric will freak out. He loves me in funky hair styles.. and probably won't keep his hands off of me...lol...maybe we'll have another baby on the way...joking. Dear Jesus...joking. But I want a change of pace...and I look good with red and black/brown hair. So yippie skippy. I just don't want to look too suicide girlish, I do have to take spen to his cub scout meetings and help out with class parties. I also have clients to please...so who knows.

Floors










I realized I never updated with pics...so enjoy...


I need to take pics with the baseboards on and furniture in the family room. But oh well... My hubby rocks so hard. He did this all himself...with me hovering over telling him where to place what piece of wood...lol. Actually, I'm beyond proud of him. He deserves a medal. Not only did he work his ass off in Michigan and at work...he came home and did this for us. I love him to pieces.

Is happy....



So I got the hat I ordered last week in. I'm beyond ecstatic on how adorable it is. There's the pic. How cute. I'm going to try to replicate that picture some how. God willing...lol.

I also ordered my sleeping pixie hat for the baby. I'm obsessed with hats now. The woman did such an awesome job on the bear hat. Eric thought it was adorable too. Here is the pixie.
Same colors. I can't wait to get it.

This weekend I vow the nursery will be done! I have to get the house cleaned and in order before the shower which is next saturday. I have no idea who all is coming. I can't wait to see all the wee little baby clothes. That's the best part. I'm stoked a lot of the guys are coming. I love coed showers. Eric is just as much part of this baby as me...and I will be reminding him this at 4 am feedings..lol.

My glucose test came back and they were normal...woo hoo! I'm so happy with that. I can indulge in sugar and sweets.

I bought myself a sports nursing bra yesterday. I think I will like that better than the old fashioned ones esp in the beginning. I can't wait to get the house ready and have the baby. I need to still buy myself things to go in my bag for the hospital. I bought some pjs, but my mom had a good point, I may have to wear a gown. I can't remember how long they come in and check you after you have the baby. If so I'll pick one up this weekend. I also need to get spens bag packed. I want to fill a bag full of dollar store games and toys for him to play with while I'm in the hospital.

Ok...off to shower and shop.

Monday, September 14, 2009

So busy...

I have million things I should be doing...but here I sit. I'm tired. I didn't sleep very well. I'm super pissed at myself for missing lunch yesterday. I screwed up my diet...so I have to wait another day to take my glucose test. Oh well. That's life. Yesterday was beyond nuts. Eric and I had a party and a meeting. It was beyond busy. Next weekend is crazy too. I hate committing to something...and having to run like crazy to make it happen. Saturday was stressful, Eric and Spen had to work the cub scout booth and then Alli had a party. Grrrrrr...

I'm excited scott is coming to my baby shower. I know how random and weird. But he's always funny...and I think it will be funny to watch him play the games. Our shower isn't really a typical baby shower anyway. It's more of a celebration. Eric and I have had our ups and downs and losses with trying to have another baby. So this is more of a party celebrating life. Also, another reason to throw a party...lol. We love having friends over. We feel truly blessed with this pregnancy and we've had scares with it from the start. I will be so happy to have the baby in my arms and be done. It's nerve wrecking. From scares of ectopic pregnancy to thyroid and fertility issues. I just want my baby in my arms.

My child's name. If I hear another person comment on the baby's name in a negative way I will not be held accountable for my actions. Cedric...it is a welsh name. No..the entertainer did not come up with it...grrrr... The name was invented by Sir Walter Scott for his novel, Ivanhoe. And since many of the people commenting have no idea about saints...(xavier)Derived from the Basque place name Etxaberri meaning "the new house". This was the surname of the Jesuit priest Saint Francis Xavier (1506-1552). He was a missionary to India, Japan, China, and other areas in eastern Asia, and he is the patron saint of the Orient and missionaries. His surname has since been adopted as a given name in his honor, chiefly among Catholics. No, it is not just an x-men character. Not everyone wants to name their little bundle of joy everyday names. I somehow doubt Cedric is the equal to naming a child apple or another fruit. I'm just tired that certain people keep injecting their opinions when they have not been asked for. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........ I somehow doubt Cedric Xavier Pullen is a horrific name and I will be scarring my child. No, his name is not as classy as Summer Sky or John Jacob. I'm just tired. I have more battles I'd rather be fighting than my kids name. Funny thing is...I got the same remarks with Spencer Henry...and now everyone loves it. So get over it...

I have so much to do..and I've ranted enough.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Fall is around the corner...

I can't wait for fall this year. Middletown's festival is this weekend...I walked some yesterday at it and my stomach was killing me...so I had to come home and lay down. Eric and Spen are selling popcorn in a booth for the cub scouts. They're both so cute. Spen and the boys got to sell popcorn to Pat Day yesterday. It was awesome. Eric called me and told me...too bad I missed it. From what I hear Spen is the selling machine. He even was getting donations with that cute little face of his. He's so damn adorable. He knows how to use his looks...this will haunt me later in his teenage years.

My niece turns 8 years old today. It's nuts. I'm going to take her to get her nails done next week sometime. I know she'll have a blast. I need to go and pick her up a gift from Spen and a card. Her party is around 4:30. Tomorrow is Spens friends skating party. I swear for the next few weeks every weekend will be a party. I hope I can keep up. Our shower is the 26th.

I have been having so many pains in my stomach the past few days. I think the baby is dropping.

I bought the teddy bear hat I've been stalking for months from etsy last night. I ended up having the woman custom make it for me. She was super sweet. I still need to order the other one...the long sleeping hat. I'm going to take pictures of the baby in them. Too cute!!! That will be the birth announcements. Knocking on wood.

We have sooo many things to do. I mailed the invites yesterday. I need to get the nursery done. I want it done for the shower. People always enjoy looking at tiny baby things and baby nurseries. I know I do. I can't believe how soon the baby will be here. It's kinda crazy.

Off to go shopping.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I'm such an idiot

I forgot to include the little cards that tell everyone where I'm registered in my invites. I was so happy with getting them addressed and sealed (pull and seal envelopes = awesome) that I completely forgot. Oh well.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............


Tomorrow is my doctor appointment. Long story short I'm going to see if she will discuss inducing me...and picking a date. Hopefully, she will be open to the idea. Not now...but next month. I ready for this kid to be born. I want to bend again...lol.
I picked spens birthday and he was induced. I'm not sure what dates work for her and I will have to see how my body is doing. I just want everything organized and prepared. I want spen to be taken care of, and Eric to be off work. I'm such a planner. Also, I'm scared I won't have my doctor delivery me, esp since I have to go to baptist east. Long story there. I'm also fearful to go into labor on my own. I've never experienced that...and spen came really fast. They told me to hurry and get to the hospital with my next baby. Spen was practically falling out...so I don't want to be some TLC special "I delivered in my driveway story"..lol.

We have so many parties over the next month to attend it's nuts. I need to buy b-day gifts for all the kids. September is a busy month.

ok..pointless.

Busy busy bee....

Today I have a million things to do. I'm trying to figure out addresses for the baby shower. I suck at this. Actually, it's not a question of not being able to do the task, but rather...I HATE it. Oh well. The baby shower will be loads of fun. It's a coed retro shower. We have adorable old fashioned decorations and the colors are baby blue and brown. It's going to be fun. I made my invites...because I'm a weirdo who enjoys torturing myself with crafts. They actually turned out really pretty if I may say so myself.

Ok...updates...lets see...

- I fell yesterday. I was picking spen up from school and my foot slipped down in a hole in the school yard. Besides from almost dying of embarrassment, I was kinda freaked out making sure I didn't hurt the baby. Thank God I caught myself and only landed on my knee. I still was shook up and felt like a complete idiot. But that's life.

- We are almost done with the floors. Yay. It has taken us since Saturday. Which is really fast timing for us. They look beautiful, and I feel absolutely spoiled with them. I love my hubby dearly. He's so freaking talented!!! I hate the fact I couldn't get down there and help more...but I did decide on the pattern and hand him pieces of wood. It's funny...who would think making a random pattern would be mind tasking..but it was. I'll post pics when we are done.

- Target...damn them..damn them and their such low sale prices. I about brought the store home with me yesterday. I stopped by the bardstown rd. target and all the home stuff was on sale. I ended up only buying some cool mirrors. It took all my reserve strength to not do more damage than that. But, I was good. I love the mirrors...they are very modern and look perfect in the formal living room. My next purchase will be new area rugs. I love my Eric...he's funny...he brought it up and said that he could already read my mind. He said that since I have my floors...now I'll need my rugs. He knows me so well. I told him it would be like wearing a fabulous new outfit with no accessories. He gets it. Target has the two I want...so I'm happy I don't have to worry about that.

- Eric and I are not allowed to buy one halloween item this year. It's killing both of us. Anyone who knows us, knows we are addicted. We seriously have a huge collection of halloween junk..and always want more. But, we are trying to save money for baby stuff. I did however purchase a fall candle yesterday. It smelled so delicious. I had to. It's so sad, but I doubt we will put up that much halloween stuff this year. With the baby coming around that time, I just won't feel like dealing with it.

- The nursery has taken a backseat to the floors. It is almost done being painted...but after we finish the floors..that is the next task. I have basically everything...I just need Eric to make my frames. I also want to try to take one family shot of all of us. I doubt it will work out considering how the last photo shoot went.

- I need to go to the store. I have a long list of items to buy. I'm excited, Eric got a bonus this year. So, we will probably be spending that on baby gear. But yay for free money! It will be taxed..damn the man. But it's nice for the company to see and appreciate Eric's hard work. I'm truly blessed with such an honest hard working hubby. He's the greatest :) Now I won't tell him that...his head would just swell..lol. Ok. I'm gone.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Yippie skippy...

Eric is driving home as I type. Woo hoo. I missed him so much. This has been a hard week. I've cried a lot of the days...damn hormones. He should be home by 12:30. I can't wait to hug and kiss him. Ok..enough mushy stuff.

I'm currently waiting for spen's principle to call me back. I'm fed up with him getting sick. Today he has diarrhea. He has already had an upper respiratory infection and strep throat. He hasn't even been in school a full month. It's because the kids in his class are forced to share their supplies. We had to send in a vast amount of supplies, only to find out that they are all shared??? Kids are dirty...and they are germ spreading little robots. So hence, spen being sick. I'm speaking to spen's principle about this. I plan on Tuesday to send in a soft pencil bag full of the supplies that spen will use. Everything will be labeled and he is to only use the items. Hello, how dumb does JCPS have to be....H1N1, shigellosis, besides just common illnesses are all spread from hand to mouth contact. Kids wiggle their teeth, cough, Lord know what they do in the bathroom, and then touch pencils, crayons and share their germs. I'm tired of it. No more. Call me a germ-a-phobe...call me a freak...but I'm tired of him getting sick...and I really do not want the baby to get sick either. But I digress....

Today is the start of our weekend!!! Woo hoo...new floors here we come. One step to this house being done.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Today...

I'm tired today...

I'm annoyed today...

I really am missing Eric today...

I wish many wishes today... and only a few will every come true...

I have a long list of to do's today. I doubt I'll do half of the list.

Blahhhhhhhhhhh.....


I need a maid...it's official. My house is too big, and full of too much junk for me to keep it clean. I think it's actually all the damn projects we have going on. This weekend the floors shall be installed, and then next week the nursery will be completed. Sureeeeeeeeeee....one can simply dream.

Off to sleep I go.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Truths

Truth...One simple word, yet so unyielding. Why do people lie? Why do some people feel the need to project their lives in such ways of outlandish falsities? I don't understand. I mean, I understand a simple white lie every once and again, but not full blown delusional fairy tales. I think the majority of the time it is insecurity with oneself. I guess, my honesty is shocking to some, and bitchy to others. But take me at face value...I am who I am. I do not and refuse to project an air that does not exist, nor will I twist the truth that it shall almost bend. I was taught not to lie. Why be so insecure to be afraid what others will think? I myself, am a woman, and us ladies do tend to have insecurities. But to live in a surreal utopia, to be lost amid the clouds of fantasy and survive upon the mere decadence of deceit. This I will never understand.

To be nice when everything in your inner self tells you not to be. When you want so greatly to call someone out upon their lies, their shroud of truth. But to calm yourself with the justification knowing this person knows. Knows to the depths of their soul that their life is yet of a wasteland, and the lies that spit forth from their mouth barely fool themselves anymore. They are merely living the motions of a living breathing being, but their self is lost. They're broken.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Things to do...people to see..

Eric is home...yay! Poor guy had to go to michigan yet again. He will have to go back for another week. I hated he was gone. I hated it even more so because I was so sick. I'm feeling better, but I was getting worried on my coughing. I didn't want to throw myself into labor or get pneumonia. I've never had bronchitis before...nor do I ever want to have it again.

***Updates***

I'm 30 weeks pregnant. I'm almost 8 months...holy hell...this kid is close to coming.

Spen lost his first tooth. It was so tiny...I bet his new ones will be huge.

I designed my baby shower invites. I love them :) Now to get the paper and print them out.

***To do list***

Pick up hardwood floors and install them...this will have to wait until next weekend..the wood has to acclimate.

Get my nails painted. I'm going to "attempt" to shoot some maternity shots. Wish me luck. I'll have Eric's help.

Go to spens cub scout meeting tonight.

Go shopping for fall clothes for the boys. Spen has out grown everything, and Eric needs more. Old navy has a sale on jeans...19 bucks...can't beat it. I bought Eric a pair yesterday..but he needs some more sweaters and shirts.

Biggest challenge finish baby's room. It's almost painted. I need to buy a curtain rod, new blinds, put up wall decals, frame some artwork, and find a table to go in there. Fun.

Ok...enough wasting time...I need to get myself dressed and out the door.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

I'm so excited!!!

My floors have been ordered woo hoo!!!! Here's the link...
http://www.lumberliquidators.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=6997&categoryId=348&sectionId=1&subCategoryId=0

I can't wait to get them. It will take 7-10 days and then a week for them to acclimate. I can't wait. I'll post before and after pics. Anyone who has seen my carpet in the family room knows why I'm so excited.

Spen started school today..he was nervous. He did awesome...but was still scared.



He looked cute sporting his new shoes and clothes. He's a cutie. I hope he likes his new class and has a great day. He was dragging today...and really did not want to go. I walked him to his class and helped him find a seat. Eric teased me saying I'll walk him to class in high school...I told him hell, I'll walk him in college if my baby wants me to..lol. I put a little love note in his backpack saying Eric and I loved him. He probably won't notice..the boy is blind as a bat.

Now what to do with my new found freedom. Tomorrow..pedicure...today cleaning..and then prepping the baby's room for painting. I'm super excited. I went to hobby lobby and bought some letters for his name to go on the wall. I know...how original...dur...but I think it's a fun look..and I'm going to spice up the white boring letters with some paint. I also need to order my curtains for in there..they are on sale on jcpenney.com. I buy everything on sale. I'm cheap..and when it comes to kids..you usually have to replace everything at least once...so I do not feel bad pitching a broken item when I didn't pay full price.

I have a long to do list. Off to start it...