Monday, July 12, 2010

Gaga head...

Ok...I've been jamming Lady Gaga and it's stuck in my mind...

Things I've been pondering....I'm tired of not being creative anymore.  I kinda feel like I've lost the artistic Nikki living in white suburbia.  So with that being said...I'm back : )   I don't want to dress or feel like a middle aged bank teller or PTA super star.  So I won't be editing myself anymore.  Not that I have that much...but I am who I am and I will wear what my mood fancies and create what art my soul demands.  My house needs more music and dance parties.  I'm going to have Eric hook the surround sound up in all the rooms.  We already have the wiring under the carpet for it.  I love music and my children need to be exposed to more.

I don't want my children to edit themselves.  I do not want them doing things they normally would not do in fear of rejection.  I see this time and time again.  People lose themselves to simply fit in. I myself have been guilty of this.  Sometimes it's just not worth all the stares.  I want my children to be conscious to others feelings and not be rude.  But I do not want them to like sports if they don't.  I don't want them to dress a certain way in fear that they will be made fun of.  I don't want them to think they have to be a certain image to be liked.  I want them to know who they are and love that person.  It will help out in life so greatly.  I have seen this time and again in relationships.  Boy and girl fears to be left and therefore molds them self into what the other wants.  What happens to their wants, needs, or desires?  Swept under the rug and they are merely a shadow of themselves.  Not my children.  I want them to have healthy esteem.  Spen worries me in this department.  He's too much of a people pleaser.  Hopefully, he will grow into himself and love that person. Hopefully, he will discover it's ok to not be the norm.

Holy hell Mel Gibson is so nuts.  I've heard the phone messages and just wow.  It's not surprising though.  It goes back to the old adage how a person treats their ex is how they will treat you. People amaze me with the misconception they are "different".  Nope...if a person doesn't respect others...why will they respect you?  Give it time and soon the old becomes the new.  I see this all the time among people I know.  They put on the facade that life is great...but behind closed doors they are abused or living a loveless life.  From my personal experience people often play the role of cary grant to get you and once you say I do....satan himself comes out.  I want my boys to grow up to support their partners.  Which leads me to another topic....I saw on a FB update about how women are supposed to be submissive to their husbands and how basically a woman's work is in the household.  OMG really!  Wow...I would hate to live that life.  My husband and I are are a partnership.  We support each other. Eric wants me to achieve my goals and I want him to achieve his.  A relationship is about give and take.  Not the husband rules the house.  How miserable would that be?  Eric and I think someone should stay home with the kids.  But it doesn't matter who.  I know plenty of husbands who stay at home and their wives work.  It's what works for that relationship. There isn't a certain way families should be constructed.  But then again the people who believe in such nuclear families are against homosexuality (lord forbid a gay couple raises children) and anything that goes against their comfort anything out of the norm for them would royally mind f*** them.  If I made as much as Eric he would be the one staying home.  I would just hate to be in a relationship where the husband is a tyrant.  I've been in that one actually and it's horrific.  I was told I chose to stay home so therefore I had to do all the housework and all the work that dealt with Spencer. My ex was hands off.  He came home, he went to work.  I was responsible for all the happenings of the home. Mind boggling now that I actually didn't leave sooner.  Eric and I are a team.  We share everything.  It's funny because I know some people would think he was nuts.  But he comes home from work and cooks.  I HATE cooking.  I know it's weird but I never have and probably never will enjoy it.  Eric loves to and he's good at it.  So he cooks, I clean up.  He washes the clothes, but I put them away. (I hate dragging everything to the basement) I'll give Ceddy a bath, he dresses him.  We are a team and he respects me.  We both are equal.  We both have a say so in our lives.  I just don't get why someone would be opposed to that lifestyle.Women are awesome wonder beings, and anyone who wants to not let you shine or sparkle is fearful of you out shining them. I know all relationships are different, but no one should be more important than the other or have to carry burdens alone.  Oh well...that's life.

I have a long list of things to do...starting with cutting the grass.  It's funny, I was once told that it was the mans job.  Didn't realize that.  Off to start my list.

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