The nerves are starting to kick in. I'm nervous about delivery. I'm nervous about the baby's health. I'm nervous about Spen and him feeling left out. So reason has to be applied to my crazy mind...
- The delivery. I've done it before...young and dumb and I can do it again..older and wiser. I know what I'm getting into...and God bless modern medicine I hopefully, will not feel anything again. If I do...it's temporary.
- The baby's health. I have done all I can do. I've taken my meds. Stayed active. I'm not running marathons, but I've kept my weight down and I'm not eating 5 arbys...lol. If we are presented with a challenge I pray God gives us the strength to get through it. But mostly, I pray he doesn't. Spen spent the 1st year of his life in physical therapy. Thinking he had CP was scary and the unknown even more scarier. All I can do is love the baby, and give the baby the means to thrive. I have a wonderful partner this time round, and I hope and pray our strength does not have to be tested.
- Spen feeling left out. Eric and I incorporate spen in every avenue of our lives. He is part of us. We plan on doing this with the birth. He won't be in the room, but he will be the third person to hold the baby. Our "plan" notice the quotations...life never works out so smooth...but anyway...our plan is for spen to come in right after delivery...after the baby is somewhat cleaned up. Then have a little bonding time as a family. In theory. In fact...I'll probably deliver while Eric and Spen are camping next month with the cub scouts. My luck...in the tub or on the toilet...I'm clueless like that. Eric and spen have a really good bond now. They are both so damn excited about the cub scouts. They're working on a rocket for this weekends races. Spen follows eric around the house while he does projects. It's cute. I'm truly blessed...I thank God everyday for such a wonderful family. Watch this kid will be the spawn of satan...lol. I was lucky with spen...he was the perfect baby. They say you never get lucky twice. Fingers crossed I do.
I hate hormones. I've been on the verge of crying over the dumbest things. I've also been so freaked out lately. I feel sorry for Eric because I know I'm driving him nuts. I'm driving myself nuts.
I can't wait to start working out again. I know weird. But I want to get back into shape...and now with my meds I feel so much better. It's scary how run down I was feeling before my thyroid meds. I thought I was crazy or had a disease. It's amazing what a little pill can do for you.
I can't wait for the shower this weekend. I'm looking forward to all the wee little baby clothes. I love baby clothes. They're soooo cute and tiny. Ok off to clean.