Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Yesterday day sucked.......

If it could go wrong it did. I had a little pity party and now i'm over it. I'm super duper excited I got my pixie cap for Cedric. I'm also excited my co-sleeper will be here on Friday...the baby will have a place to sleep in our room for a while. I know...the kid has a nursery...but co-sleeping is so much easier for breastfeeding. I also hate the idea of leaving a newborn alone...considering they have never been alone during their little life span. He won't sleep in our bed...learned that one the hard way. Spen didn't get out of my bed until he was 3. Ummmm...no. We are doing attached parenting. I agree with a lot of the beliefs it has to offer. I love that Eric agrees too. He's such a good daddy already to spen. Tomorrow he has to take spen to his chess club meeting. My little guy is such the nerd..lol. Then Thursday is cub scouts. I need to look online for some cool graphics for Eric and Spen's "game room". Eric is constructing an arcade down stairs. Joe brought over street fighter ( i think) so that will go with the two other ones he already has down there. I say whatever keeps eric sane...go for it.

I can't wait for the baby to get here. I want to start working out...and be normal again. I think this will probably be Eric and my last biological child. We've discussed it...and with all the problems I have at the age of 27...Lord knows how hard the next pregnancy will be. We want maybe one more child...so we'll adopt. Yesterday, at the home of the innocence it broke my heart seeing the kids playing outside. I hate that they do not have homes. I hate that don't have mommies. When I go there...I think about the little things..like who takes care of the kids when they are sick, or who rocks them to bed when they have nightmares. Breaks my heart. So our next baby will be adopted.

I know Eric and I will weep like babies when Cedric is born. We tried for what seemed a small eternity, lost a baby, and then were told to go on meds to conceive. We've had our ups and downs..even with this pregnancy. From the very beginning, thinking it was ectopic, to all the health issues, to preterm labor. But Eric has held my hand and wiped away all my tears. He's such an amazing man...and I thank God for him. So when this little miracle is born...we will cry like babies..lol. It's funny, with spen..he came easy. I got pregnant fast, and had a fast delivery. I was in a horrible relationship, and I didn't get to see the true miracle of life. I was so happy when he was born...he was my first, he was my life. It's going to be weird being the mom of two...when it's been one for so long. But i've never seen myself the mom of just one child. I come from a family of four, and I've always wanted at least 2 or 3 kids running around. I hate quiet homes.

Ok...I really want to go to the Caufields parade on friday and I really want to go to hubers. Maybe in a week the baby will be here and I will be able to enjoy some of october happenings. I might see if Eric will take spen to the parade. I wish I could go :( Oh well. That's life.

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