Saturday, May 5, 2012

Warning Bitchfest...hold on tight...

I shall blame the following on hormones...

I'm really upset right now.  I'm a photographer and occasionally I will offer my work as gifts to close family and friends.  But this is how I make money...as a photographer.  I do not for the life of me understand why a lot of people think I should give them free portraits.  I understand we are family/friends and I understand you like my work...but respect me enough to pay me.  It hurts my feelings.  I hate when my feelings are hurt and I can't find the voice to share my feelings...instead...I turn to my blog to vent. Ha!  A few months ago I had my feelings hurt involving doing free work for a friend and that stung as well.  A lot of people do not understand what it takes to go out on location to shoot and edit along with having to find babysitters for my kids. ESPECIALLY if I am doing it for FREE.  That dime is on me!  I am getting my voice.  My two BFFs are getting married this year and I offered to shoot their weddings as a gift.  I'm cool with that.  I totally offered and that is my gift.  But I usually charge $1200 and up for a wedding.  I love my friends but I usually do not give $1200 wedding gifts nor did they give me that $$$ of a wedding gift.  I need to let them know I am attending the wedding as a friend not as an employee. I will take portraits and photographs...but not for hours on end.  I want to be there as a guest and a friend.  To be honest I really am feeling unappreciated at the moment.  I work my ass off for everyone and I sacrifice time away from kids.  This is why I have made the conscious decision to not do any more free work. It makes everything too complicated.  Also, where do I draw the line.  If I do something free for one person...another person will demand it.  Oy VEY!!!  I have been working on fumes lately. I feel like I'm being pulled every which way on everyone else's whims. Trying to balance photography, family, and my other job...and I have to start being an adult and standing up for myself.  Not that I won't be nice Nikki...anymore...but I won't be doormat Nikki ; ) Sheeshhhhhh...I feel better.  I don't want anyone to get mad...but I just need to let people know my feelings are hurt.

Ok...I think shooting the Derby and the heat has sent me into a tizzy.  I'm so tired...I literally walked with FULL gear (camera, laptop, lens's and rain boots) from Floyd Street to Churchill Downs..Map....then ALL  around Churchill  and again shooting for the paper.  Then I walked to Central and Taylor to be picked up.  Came home laid down for a second, walked to go get some dinner, went on a bike ride with the kids and now I'm beat. I know tomorrow my legs will scream from the punishment I put them through today.

Ok..sweet dreams...Hopefully, tomorrow I will wake up in a better mood.  I'll leave you with some pics from my cellphone from my day...


I LOVE Churchill Downs in the morning of Derby.  Long before the crowds follow in. 


Crazy religious people shouting at EVERYONE as they entered.  I had to snap a pick of them.


Inside the media center waiting in line for lunch.





...and then the crowds came...


Me sitting on a bus stop waiting for my husband to pick me up....VERY TIRED!


...and the crazy happy dancing man I named Earl...dancing his heart out on the corner.  He had some awesome moves I will have to admit.



2 comments:

Hot Mama said...

I went back to Derby this year! I can't imagine how hot you must have been.

~Nikki Pullen said...

It was most insane around the paddock. The worst part is that I am short, so I would get lost amid the crowd...ha. I hope you had a good time!