Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Weird encounter...

Ok...I had a weird encounter today in a parking lot.  While putting Ceddy in the car I was loving on him and kissing him.  He's too adorable not to.  His chubby cheeks and sweet just have to kiss him.  He also has started patting you on the back when you pat him. So I was patting and kissing him for a moment before putting him in the car. So while buckling him in his car seat this man comes up to me.  First thought,  what do you want from me...people are always asking for money up and down bardstown rd., second thought, please don't mug me, then I scan the guy assessing the situation and notice he is wearing an officer shirt and is driving a metro call.  Third thought, oh shit...did I hit something with my car or do something wrong?  But to my surprise none of my thoughts were correct.  He told me, thanks for being a good mom.  He said I was smiling sitting in my car watching you hugging your son.  He said it was good to see good moms, and that I made being a mom look like the best job in the world.  I told him it is.  I also said it helps when the baby is as happy as my little guy.  I thanked him and we parted ways.  I was a little taken aback by the situation.  It feels good that people notice you love your kid, but then it's weird that people actually notice you.  I talked to Eric about it, and we both agreed the guy probably sees a lot of horrific moms out there being a police officer and it's a nice change of pace to be reminded why people actually have kids.  To love them.  It's funny as I was driving away I thought of the things I didn't say.  I didn't tell him, hell yes I love being a mom.  This child here was wanted and planned for.  After 2.5 years of trying to conceive, one miscarriage, bed rest and many doctor visits later, I thank God everyday I'm blessed with him.  I love both my boys and being a mom is the greatest gift I have ever been given.  It's funny I was once asked by a close friend who isn't a parent why am I a mom and is that my only identity.  You can't sum up all it is to being  a parent in a few sentences.  In one mere conversation.  It's so vast and emotions run so deep...I simply couldn't find the words. I know some of my friends without kids think I'm consumed by my children, I have no other needs or desires.  I do.  But I know there will be a time in my life that my little boys will no longer fit in my arms, or need me, so I will be consumed by them now.  I will be there for them and love them with all my heart while they are young.  I want them to grow up to be loving, kind and intelligent men.  So I pour myself into them. When they are off at college and my house is quiet I'll remember their heavy footsteps running upstairs, and tv blaring spongebob or video games. I'll miss the whines and gripes of doing homework and dirty little faces giving me kisses. I'll miss being a mom, so I want to be there for them now.  My husband feels the same way.  He adores our boys and makes sure they know it daily.  Being a parent is hard.  I'm not going to lie, there are days I want to crawl back into bed, or sit in the car and not go inside.  Sitting in the car with music on and drifting away for a mere moment not having any responsibility for anyone other then myself is my little oasis of solitude is nice.  Sometimes it's pure bliss to only be thinking about a song, or thinking about nothing at all.  To just sit and drift away.  But then when I gather the groceries up and enter the house smiling faces greet me asking what I got them is a nice reality to come back to.  Being a parent isn't for everyone.  Nor is it easy.  But I must say it is the greatest job I have ever had!  Ok, I'm a dork and teared up writing some of this.  I'm lame....ok off to buy fabric I go. 

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