I actually have energy...wow. It's an awesome feeling!!!
Current thoughts:
Spen got all his words correct on his spelling test!!! YAY!!! I'm so proud of him. I know it's not that big of a deal, but it just shows that the way we study is working. I'm a huge dork and we make songs up with some of the harder words.But he did awesome and I'm proud of my little guy. Poor little guy was so nervous.
Eric and I are replacing all the bathroom faucets. Updating from the brass to stainless. In a few years once all debt is paid off, we plan on gutting the bathrooms and starting from scratch. But until then...new faucets is shall be! We have one more to do...our bathroom. I swear this house is aging us. We have painted every wall, eric has replaced every outlet and switch plate, and the theater is our next task. It needs to be sanded, primed and painted. Grrrrr....not looking forward to that. But the finished product is what keeps us going. My kitchen really needs a match and a bottle of lighter fluid to it. I HATEEEEEEEEEE 80's wallpaper. Ugly floral/fruit. I need to work on that too. It never ends. Once all the painting is done...that is when I start buying new furniture and accessories.
A small victory in the Pullen household....medical bills are officially paid off. Sheeesshhhhh......I never thought it would happen. I almost don't want to say it too loud...I'm sure my body might get jealous and need another ER visit or major test ran. I swear the cost of staying healthy in this country is astounding. Eric's simple ENT visit was $200 plus. That was after insurance and not including the co-pay. Not including all the tests and lab work I had. It's kinda sad because I need to go back to the doctor. I think my thyroid is kinda wacky again. I'm losing hair. It's super thin now. But I really do not want to have to pay for the co-pay and then lab work. I'm starting up my vitamins and folic acid again. I'm also going to start eating better and trying to take my meds at the same time EVERYDAY on an empty stomach. I have got to stop with the stress. Stress screws up my hormones, and the hormones screws up my thyroid. It sucks because it fluctuates. If I go and get the blood work done, it might be the correct levels...but the next day be a different level. I swear I'm an old lady.
I need to clean my whole house. I hate when you blink and every room needs to be picked up. The life of the wife with children.
I'm excited about taking Ceddy to baby hour at the library. I think he'll love it. He loves singing and playing. It will be nice to add something new to our week.
I need to go shopping too. I have a list of items, and two stores I need to go to. Formula, diapers and snacks. Not quite the most exciting task of the day. Off to work out.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Waiting on coffee...
Something is up with Cedric. I'm pretty sure it's a growth spurt. He took 3 bottles last night throughout the night and then cried for me to hold him. As soon as I picked the little monkey up he was happy and drifted off to slumber. I talked with his doctor and have been reading up on his age. They all said a brain shift will happen and he will start becoming aware of strangers and having difficulty sleeping. I see they were right. He has started pulling himself up on things. He's so cute!
I miss my short hair, and I miss my long hair...quite the conundrum. I'm not sure what to do. I know if I cut all my hair off I will miss it more. But if I cut my hair it would go blond with a pompadour super short. So we shall see what happens.
I shoot for the local newspaper here. I once had to shoot a fundraiser with a "local celebrity", I had never heard of the guy. So when I walked into the room, (I was there early), I had no idea who I should look for. Well, this one guy walks up to me and tells me what to expect throughout the night. He then tells me his name and basically introduces himself as a local celebrity host/DJ. Ummmm....it was so surreal. The guy was maybe well known among a small niche group. But the people coming to the event would have no clue who he was. They were mostly well to do white people. This guy was so arrogant and cocky. It made me sick. I about gagged a few times as he gabbed on and on about himself. Ok, I got it....you're a DJ/Host. You're not famous, nor will you matter in a few years. I was grossed out by his arrogance and lack of swagger. He was merely a fat frat dude who thought he was soooo cool. Ummm...no. I get so sickened by men who have to over compensate for their lack of confidence with arrogance. A true confident man will not have to boast, surely not address himself as the "local celebrity". He struck me as a guy who would create his own fan site on facebook or plan his own surprise birthday party. It was just gross all together. But yeah...that event popped in my head this morning. It was years ago though, but the guys doucheness is still pretty fresh.
Ok...off to do the mom, workout and coffee thing.
I miss my short hair, and I miss my long hair...quite the conundrum. I'm not sure what to do. I know if I cut all my hair off I will miss it more. But if I cut my hair it would go blond with a pompadour super short. So we shall see what happens.
I shoot for the local newspaper here. I once had to shoot a fundraiser with a "local celebrity", I had never heard of the guy. So when I walked into the room, (I was there early), I had no idea who I should look for. Well, this one guy walks up to me and tells me what to expect throughout the night. He then tells me his name and basically introduces himself as a local celebrity host/DJ. Ummmm....it was so surreal. The guy was maybe well known among a small niche group. But the people coming to the event would have no clue who he was. They were mostly well to do white people. This guy was so arrogant and cocky. It made me sick. I about gagged a few times as he gabbed on and on about himself. Ok, I got it....you're a DJ/Host. You're not famous, nor will you matter in a few years. I was grossed out by his arrogance and lack of swagger. He was merely a fat frat dude who thought he was soooo cool. Ummm...no. I get so sickened by men who have to over compensate for their lack of confidence with arrogance. A true confident man will not have to boast, surely not address himself as the "local celebrity". He struck me as a guy who would create his own fan site on facebook or plan his own surprise birthday party. It was just gross all together. But yeah...that event popped in my head this morning. It was years ago though, but the guys doucheness is still pretty fresh.
Ok...off to do the mom, workout and coffee thing.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Tired....
It seems lately when I sleep I just don't. I close my eyes drift to sleep...but wake way more tired then before I closed my eyes. It sucks.
Date night was nice. We ended up going to ramsi's cafe. I ate way too much, but everything was yummy. It was nice to be alone with the hubs. We stopped by target on the way home. I live such an exciting life...eyes roll. But it was a nice change of pace. I of course had that "Oh where are the kids", or better yet "I need to get the kids out of the back" feelings a few times. When I go out without the kids I always have that I forgot something feeling. It's strange how a pair of kids can do that to you.
Spens bathroom is almost done. I still need to paint his foot stool and change out the faucet. But yeah..the boys are spoiled. Eric included. But they deserve it.
Date night was nice. We ended up going to ramsi's cafe. I ate way too much, but everything was yummy. It was nice to be alone with the hubs. We stopped by target on the way home. I live such an exciting life...eyes roll. But it was a nice change of pace. I of course had that "Oh where are the kids", or better yet "I need to get the kids out of the back" feelings a few times. When I go out without the kids I always have that I forgot something feeling. It's strange how a pair of kids can do that to you.
Spens bathroom is almost done. I still need to paint his foot stool and change out the faucet. But yeah..the boys are spoiled. Eric included. But they deserve it.
Friday, August 27, 2010
I'm sleepy...
I'm trying to avoid sleep. If I sleep now I'll stay up all night. Cedric is taking a nap. I need to get the kids stuff together for later tonight.
Happy Birthday Pee Wee. I used to be in love with him. I was a weird kid. I think Cedric should go as him next year for Halloween. That would be too funny.
I've been looking online for some cupcake and party goodies for his birthday and spens class party.
I came across these little beauties.
I love them...I think they are cute. The kids would get a kick out of these.
I've been trying to figure out what to do for invites. I have no clue yet. Still working and researching them.
I went to St. Matthews library today for a book and a audio book. I want to start listening to things as I walk on the treadmill. I think I might start going to their baby and mommy hour. I think it would be fun. They read, sing songs and play with the kids. I like that library....it's tiny and the staff is sweet. Cedric would eat it up. We might give it a try next week.
I have no idea who I will invite to our halloween/ceddys first birthday party. That is the part of party planning I hate.
Ok..off to get dressed for date night. :)
Happy Birthday Pee Wee. I used to be in love with him. I was a weird kid. I think Cedric should go as him next year for Halloween. That would be too funny.
I've been looking online for some cupcake and party goodies for his birthday and spens class party.
I came across these little beauties.
I've been trying to figure out what to do for invites. I have no clue yet. Still working and researching them.
I went to St. Matthews library today for a book and a audio book. I want to start listening to things as I walk on the treadmill. I think I might start going to their baby and mommy hour. I think it would be fun. They read, sing songs and play with the kids. I like that library....it's tiny and the staff is sweet. Cedric would eat it up. We might give it a try next week.
I have no idea who I will invite to our halloween/ceddys first birthday party. That is the part of party planning I hate.
Ok..off to get dressed for date night. :)
Date night!!!
Woo hoo!!!! I'm so excited. My lovely friend is going to watch the kids for me tonight and momma gets to have a night out. Not sure where we are going to go. Eric struck down the picnic idea. We do that already with the kids a lot. So...hummmmm....I want something low key and something that is not going to cost a small fortune. I have too many projects and bills to pay off for a $$$ dinner. I'm kinda craving mimosa. Maybe the myan cafe. We shall see where the night leads us.
I'm super proud of Eric. He did it again today. He got up early and worked out on the treadmill. He's already losing. I HATE MEN in that respect. They can lose weight so fast. It's rather annoying. But he's determined to get into shape. Which is awesome. Speaking of working out my butt has to get on the treadmill in a few. I walked to get spen yesterday from school. Ummm...one word...death. I was so hot and tired by the time I got there I looked like death and felt like it. It was a good work out.
Cedric had a rough night last night. Not sure what was up. But he woke up twice crying. Which is completely out of the norm for him.
I need to figure out what my fall special will be with my photography business. I also need to work on set design. I want to have a little set up for halloween pics. I hate pricing things. I'm cheap and I hate charging for things...I just like shooting. I need to buy a new portrait lens. Not looking forward to paying for it...but I need it and am excited about it. Photography is so damn expensive. People wonder why you charge the prices you do. Ummmm....lenses and cameras are not cheap. Not including all the time you put into editing a portrait.
I had weird dreams all night long. One was I went to a fictional work in my pjs. I was upset I forgot to change before I arrived.
I got spen and ceddy's clothes yesterday delivered. Eric thought they were cute too. He's so funny about things for the kids. He's always wanting to buy them stuff so it was no biggie I ordered them. I got the boys matching hoodies and shirts. I got Cedric an adorable hat. Spen isn't much of a hat person.
Spen has his first spelling test today. My nerves are with him. I hope he does well. I hated spelling tests. Hell, any test for that matter. I have bad anxiety over them and doubt myself. I hope he does well. We practiced and he knows them. But if he gets into a hurry writing he makes mistakes. He is such my child. I was the same way...hell still am.
Ok...off to start the day.
I'm super proud of Eric. He did it again today. He got up early and worked out on the treadmill. He's already losing. I HATE MEN in that respect. They can lose weight so fast. It's rather annoying. But he's determined to get into shape. Which is awesome. Speaking of working out my butt has to get on the treadmill in a few. I walked to get spen yesterday from school. Ummm...one word...death. I was so hot and tired by the time I got there I looked like death and felt like it. It was a good work out.
Cedric had a rough night last night. Not sure what was up. But he woke up twice crying. Which is completely out of the norm for him.
I need to figure out what my fall special will be with my photography business. I also need to work on set design. I want to have a little set up for halloween pics. I hate pricing things. I'm cheap and I hate charging for things...I just like shooting. I need to buy a new portrait lens. Not looking forward to paying for it...but I need it and am excited about it. Photography is so damn expensive. People wonder why you charge the prices you do. Ummmm....lenses and cameras are not cheap. Not including all the time you put into editing a portrait.
I had weird dreams all night long. One was I went to a fictional work in my pjs. I was upset I forgot to change before I arrived.
I got spen and ceddy's clothes yesterday delivered. Eric thought they were cute too. He's so funny about things for the kids. He's always wanting to buy them stuff so it was no biggie I ordered them. I got the boys matching hoodies and shirts. I got Cedric an adorable hat. Spen isn't much of a hat person.
Spen has his first spelling test today. My nerves are with him. I hope he does well. I hated spelling tests. Hell, any test for that matter. I have bad anxiety over them and doubt myself. I hope he does well. We practiced and he knows them. But if he gets into a hurry writing he makes mistakes. He is such my child. I was the same way...hell still am.
Ok...off to start the day.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Yeah...it's going to be one of those days....
Today is a weird day. I have a long list of things to do sitting in front of me. I'm trying to gain enough energy to actually do them!
One cup of coffee down...check.! Now onto cleaning.
I am so proud of Eric. He woke up early today and did a workout on the treadmill before work. He showered, shaved and even made spencer breakfast. It's so funny...spen is such the little man. I ran into him coming up the stairs, dressed and sipping his drink like coffee...he looks up and is like hey and then goes back to his drink. He had the whole persona of a grown man just sipping on his coffee before work. I laughed at him and patted his head. He's funny and way too mature for his own good.
I have sooo many things to do. Friday Eric and are going on a date. I"M SO EXCITED!!! We haven't had date night in months. Thank God for good friends! What to do...what to do? Hell, just a nice warm meal without the kids will be awesome. I kinda want to do a picnic. I love the outdoors and I love food....great combination. We shall see.
The brakes are going out on the jeep. So Eric had to take my car today. I hope it's not going to cost too much! I also hope Eric can fix it himself.
I have to call think geek. Screwed up an order and I also have a client coming over today to pic up pics. So off I go to clean.
One cup of coffee down...check.! Now onto cleaning.
I am so proud of Eric. He woke up early today and did a workout on the treadmill before work. He showered, shaved and even made spencer breakfast. It's so funny...spen is such the little man. I ran into him coming up the stairs, dressed and sipping his drink like coffee...he looks up and is like hey and then goes back to his drink. He had the whole persona of a grown man just sipping on his coffee before work. I laughed at him and patted his head. He's funny and way too mature for his own good.
I have sooo many things to do. Friday Eric and are going on a date. I"M SO EXCITED!!! We haven't had date night in months. Thank God for good friends! What to do...what to do? Hell, just a nice warm meal without the kids will be awesome. I kinda want to do a picnic. I love the outdoors and I love food....great combination. We shall see.
The brakes are going out on the jeep. So Eric had to take my car today. I hope it's not going to cost too much! I also hope Eric can fix it himself.
I have to call think geek. Screwed up an order and I also have a client coming over today to pic up pics. So off I go to clean.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
I should be sleeping...
But I will blame the junk food I consumed at the fair for my lack of sleep. I'm tired, but wired. I miss Eric too.
Went to the fair tonight. It was Cedric's first state fair. I love the people watching. That's the best attraction there. I think the best view of the night was an Amish family using an electric scooter.
I need to clean my house. It's in shambles. I also need to start painting some rooms. But I have no energy mentally, or physically for that.
I'm bored...I need a good book.
I'm so mentally tired. I just need to relax. Unplug and do NOTHING. It seems I'm always moving. I'm just tired.
Today I had three appointments. I had to get my wire taken off my braces, then have a tooth filled (my dentist is awesome and my filling in practically invisible!!! yay) and then go back and have my wire put back on. I'm just emotionally tired. I was so nervous Cedric would freak out at the dentist. But he was great. He cried when I got the numbing shot...then once he saw I was good he perked up. Then I had to run home to get spen and from then we went to the fair with a friend. Run run run...is my life. I need to just relax and do nothing. I need some yoga asap. I'll work on that tomorrow maybe while Ceddy is down for a nap.
Ok...I'm in a weird mood. So I will leave you with some photos I took of my little guy. He's too precious to not smile and coo at.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Ok...trying to avoid my bed, chores and other nonsense...
I am super tired today. I had to drop Eric off at the Airport sometime around 5 am-ish. I'm soooo sleepy. I came back home and crashed, then took spen to school, then crashed some more. I did manage a good treadmill 45 minute workout. I've started a new thing...I will no longer lay in bed watching tv, I will walk. while watching TV. Ok, I say this in one breath but am mentally already snuggled up under my covers finishing my movie I started in another.
My love is away doing the work thing. He's come down with a terrible case of responsibility. I hope to hell I do not catch it...but I hear around my age it's pretty contagious. ( heh...mild humor) Eric is in North Carolina. I'm so jealous...I wish I could have gone. I love getting away. He's there for business. He's only gone for a few days so no biggie. I just love the south. That would have been a fun trip. ...that's life.
I did a big no-no today. I kinda went shopping online. The children's place was having a fabulous sale and I had a coupon code on top of that great sale and somehow 50 bucks got spent. It happened so fast I'm not sure what all I ordered. I did manage to buy two adorable matching outfits for the boys. I'm a weirdo who finds it cute matching kids. Gag... I know...but I still need to go back and buy more. After pay day!
I have to go get a tooth filled tomorrow...dreading that. I also want to take the kids to the fair. We shall see how all this works out. I love the fair. My friend and I are going to take the kids there. I'm a sucker for anything reminiscent of my childhood. Eric loathes the fair...but EVERY kid needs to go. It's part of childhood.
I'm currently trying to figure out what invites I should make for Cedric's 1st birthday. I'm going for a vintage circus/ sideshow theme. I can't believe my baby is almost a year. It's nuts!!!
Ok...off to sleep,clean,workout and cook dinner.
My love is away doing the work thing. He's come down with a terrible case of responsibility. I hope to hell I do not catch it...but I hear around my age it's pretty contagious. ( heh...mild humor) Eric is in North Carolina. I'm so jealous...I wish I could have gone. I love getting away. He's there for business. He's only gone for a few days so no biggie. I just love the south. That would have been a fun trip. ...that's life.
I did a big no-no today. I kinda went shopping online. The children's place was having a fabulous sale and I had a coupon code on top of that great sale and somehow 50 bucks got spent. It happened so fast I'm not sure what all I ordered. I did manage to buy two adorable matching outfits for the boys. I'm a weirdo who finds it cute matching kids. Gag... I know...but I still need to go back and buy more. After pay day!
I have to go get a tooth filled tomorrow...dreading that. I also want to take the kids to the fair. We shall see how all this works out. I love the fair. My friend and I are going to take the kids there. I'm a sucker for anything reminiscent of my childhood. Eric loathes the fair...but EVERY kid needs to go. It's part of childhood.
I'm currently trying to figure out what invites I should make for Cedric's 1st birthday. I'm going for a vintage circus/ sideshow theme. I can't believe my baby is almost a year. It's nuts!!!
Ok...off to sleep,clean,workout and cook dinner.
Friday, August 20, 2010
I have so many things I should be doing...
But instead I'm window shopping online...
I'm in love with these chairs!!!
I'd love to have one for Ceddy's room. But the rocking scares me with fingers. But they are super cute!
I also need to go stalk Michaels craft store....tis Spookytown time!!! Woo hoo!!!
Laaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!
I need to add a piece this year to our collection. Each year we buy something new for it.
I need to get my butt up and work out. I've cleaned all day. Scrubbing clean floors is depressing. But I was trying to get the wax off my entry floor. Some came up. I'm such an IDIOT!!! How I managed to wax a no wax floor...is beyond me.
I think I'm going to start ripping down the wallpaper in the kitchen. I can't stand it!!!! It's slowly driving me insane. So maybe while Eric is away I will. We shall see. I should have a wallpaper party. Drinks, food, and paste remover.
I have so many things I want to do to this house. Just the lack of funds is annoying. That's life. Ok...off to the treadmill I go!
I'm in love with these chairs!!!
I'd love to have one for Ceddy's room. But the rocking scares me with fingers. But they are super cute!
I also need to go stalk Michaels craft store....tis Spookytown time!!! Woo hoo!!!
Laaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!
I need to add a piece this year to our collection. Each year we buy something new for it.
I need to get my butt up and work out. I've cleaned all day. Scrubbing clean floors is depressing. But I was trying to get the wax off my entry floor. Some came up. I'm such an IDIOT!!! How I managed to wax a no wax floor...is beyond me.
I think I'm going to start ripping down the wallpaper in the kitchen. I can't stand it!!!! It's slowly driving me insane. So maybe while Eric is away I will. We shall see. I should have a wallpaper party. Drinks, food, and paste remover.
I have so many things I want to do to this house. Just the lack of funds is annoying. That's life. Ok...off to the treadmill I go!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Men are strange creatures....
Ok...so Eric surprised me with my skeleton diamond necklace tonight.
He lied and said he would have to work late, but he actually had stopped by Kays on the way home from work. He had it gift wrapped and hidden in his car. I was completely surprised. After we went to the grocery he said he had to run out to the car for something. Honestly, I had no idea. But he came back in with something behind his back and I knew something was up. We had an argument and he was a butthead the other day. Sadly, it was over something dumb. My lack of driving skills and the expressway. So he felt bad for being an idiot and wanted to make it up to me. I saw the necklace a few months back and thought it was pretty in the store. But that was it. I haven't mentioned that necklace since. I was actually going to make a key necklace from an old key I have. He was super sweet and apologized for being dumb. he said he wanted me to know how much he loves me and how I'm always on his mind. I told him he didn't have to buy me something to prove he loved me...hell, I'm a fat girl at heart so chocolates would have worked. But yay! I'm in love with my necklace. It was an awesome surprise, and it was even more awesome he did it himself. It was actually pretty romantic : ) Men are funny creatures, and have awesome ways of surprising you. Even though they can be idiots sometimes. I love my Eric.
Ok, tomorrow spen is having s sleep over. I will have a total of 5 boys in my house. We shall see how this goes. ok...off to sleep I go.....Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
He lied and said he would have to work late, but he actually had stopped by Kays on the way home from work. He had it gift wrapped and hidden in his car. I was completely surprised. After we went to the grocery he said he had to run out to the car for something. Honestly, I had no idea. But he came back in with something behind his back and I knew something was up. We had an argument and he was a butthead the other day. Sadly, it was over something dumb. My lack of driving skills and the expressway. So he felt bad for being an idiot and wanted to make it up to me. I saw the necklace a few months back and thought it was pretty in the store. But that was it. I haven't mentioned that necklace since. I was actually going to make a key necklace from an old key I have. He was super sweet and apologized for being dumb. he said he wanted me to know how much he loves me and how I'm always on his mind. I told him he didn't have to buy me something to prove he loved me...hell, I'm a fat girl at heart so chocolates would have worked. But yay! I'm in love with my necklace. It was an awesome surprise, and it was even more awesome he did it himself. It was actually pretty romantic : ) Men are funny creatures, and have awesome ways of surprising you. Even though they can be idiots sometimes. I love my Eric.
Ok, tomorrow spen is having s sleep over. I will have a total of 5 boys in my house. We shall see how this goes. ok...off to sleep I go.....Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
So much to do....
So many things have been going on...whewwwww...I have been so busy.
Ok...for starters...
Spen started back at school. He was super nervous. I thought the first day he was either going to burst out crying or throw up. Thank God neither came true. I walked him to class like I do each year and he was cool once he was in his seat next to his friends. It's funny because I put an I love you note in his lunch bag. I also included some funny drawings on the paper. Then it dawned on me, I hope he doesn't show these to his friends and he gets in trouble...as funny as that would be, I'd feel awful about it. I think this will be a great year for him. It's cute Ceddy misses him in the back seat. He whines for him. It's so sweet.
Yesterday, was Cedric's 9 month check up. I held out yet again on updating his shots. Mommy's intuition tells me to wait. So I am. He's going through a funky phase right now. He's not talking as much and he has started to throw tantrums if he doesn't get his way. WTH he's only 9 months. I talked with the doctor and he told me last visit he was doing things 3 months advanced, and now he's doing things (emotionally) like a 15 month old. Cedric can play with his toys now. It's mind boggling to watch him do it. He's not full on playing war with g.i. joes, but he can entertain himself. Which is a nice break. The lack of talking is because he is doing a lot more physical things right now. The doctor told me not to be surprised if he doesn't start talking more until after a year. It's funny the doctor also predicts he'll start walking next month. The little stinker practically ran across the table to get away from the doctor and into my arms. It's funny being a mom already it's bitter sweet when they start walking. You're happy because it's a milestone, but then you know you really have to baby proof EVERYTHINGGGGGGG. Not looking forward to that at all.
I finally got my treadmill. I LOVE it!!! Speaking of after this update my ass will be on it. I can't wait to get back into shape. Eric is actually using it too. It's funny because I apparently have lost a bunch of weight. I am unaware of this having thought i had already lost a bunch of weight. But I've had tons of people lately telling me I have. Ummm...how fat was I when I thought I had lost weight? ***Shudder*** to think.
I have to go to three stores today...I'm not looking forward to that adventure. I hate having to go all around town, not including dropping stuff off at the recycling center. I also, need to take Cedric's portraits. I'm such a bad mommy. I've been lazy. One step at a time.
Ok...so I'm on this new kick. I've stopped taking on other people's issues and problems as my own. I hate and feel sorry for a lot of people, but I can't take it on. I've also stopped allowing negative thoughts or people to influence my life. I know duuuhhhh...right? But it's hard to do. I have come to realize life is too short to have negative happenings. Hopefully, this will stick...I'd hate to stroke out over stress in my 30's.
Fall is around the corner. I went to Joann's fabric yesterday and it was plastered everywhere!!! I need to go to Michael's to check out Halloween town. We usually add a piece each year to the collection.
I need to finish my steps...and then onto the theater room and kitchen. I'm so tired of painting!!!!!!!
Ok...off to workout!
Ok...for starters...
Spen started back at school. He was super nervous. I thought the first day he was either going to burst out crying or throw up. Thank God neither came true. I walked him to class like I do each year and he was cool once he was in his seat next to his friends. It's funny because I put an I love you note in his lunch bag. I also included some funny drawings on the paper. Then it dawned on me, I hope he doesn't show these to his friends and he gets in trouble...as funny as that would be, I'd feel awful about it. I think this will be a great year for him. It's cute Ceddy misses him in the back seat. He whines for him. It's so sweet.
Yesterday, was Cedric's 9 month check up. I held out yet again on updating his shots. Mommy's intuition tells me to wait. So I am. He's going through a funky phase right now. He's not talking as much and he has started to throw tantrums if he doesn't get his way. WTH he's only 9 months. I talked with the doctor and he told me last visit he was doing things 3 months advanced, and now he's doing things (emotionally) like a 15 month old. Cedric can play with his toys now. It's mind boggling to watch him do it. He's not full on playing war with g.i. joes, but he can entertain himself. Which is a nice break. The lack of talking is because he is doing a lot more physical things right now. The doctor told me not to be surprised if he doesn't start talking more until after a year. It's funny the doctor also predicts he'll start walking next month. The little stinker practically ran across the table to get away from the doctor and into my arms. It's funny being a mom already it's bitter sweet when they start walking. You're happy because it's a milestone, but then you know you really have to baby proof EVERYTHINGGGGGGG. Not looking forward to that at all.
I finally got my treadmill. I LOVE it!!! Speaking of after this update my ass will be on it. I can't wait to get back into shape. Eric is actually using it too. It's funny because I apparently have lost a bunch of weight. I am unaware of this having thought i had already lost a bunch of weight. But I've had tons of people lately telling me I have. Ummm...how fat was I when I thought I had lost weight? ***Shudder*** to think.
I have to go to three stores today...I'm not looking forward to that adventure. I hate having to go all around town, not including dropping stuff off at the recycling center. I also, need to take Cedric's portraits. I'm such a bad mommy. I've been lazy. One step at a time.
Ok...so I'm on this new kick. I've stopped taking on other people's issues and problems as my own. I hate and feel sorry for a lot of people, but I can't take it on. I've also stopped allowing negative thoughts or people to influence my life. I know duuuhhhh...right? But it's hard to do. I have come to realize life is too short to have negative happenings. Hopefully, this will stick...I'd hate to stroke out over stress in my 30's.
Fall is around the corner. I went to Joann's fabric yesterday and it was plastered everywhere!!! I need to go to Michael's to check out Halloween town. We usually add a piece each year to the collection.
I need to finish my steps...and then onto the theater room and kitchen. I'm so tired of painting!!!!!!!
Ok...off to workout!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Wake up!!!
I can't shake this sleepiness. I've had it since we got back from Hawaii. It's really starting to get annoying!
Ok....I'm sitting here with hair dye on my head. My red highlights faded to an ugly orange color...so back to brown I go. But while applying the dye to my head I heard my doorbell ring. I peeked out the window (hair dye on my head standing there in a towel) and it was the Fedex guy with some type of kid product in his hands. I had my gloves on...and seriously debated on answering the door like that. I refrained from doing so and he left the package on my front step. Turns out it was the part I "was promised" months ago to fix my swinger. Ummm...after opening it up and investigating...it's not the right one....Shoot. Now that swinger is a waste. I will now never buy a product without reading the reviews! We got the first run model of a baby swinger and it's motor stopped working. I LOVED it while it worked, but it quit after only seven months. It was also a $$$ swinger. I looked on target.com and read the reviews and a lot of people had the same issue. I hate crappy products. I called and complained and was promised a new part would be sent my way. I see how fast it came...that was months ago...and it's the wrong part all together. I give up...shhheeeeesshhhh.....
I have a million things to do..but right now...my hair is first on the list.
I have to get spen his new school shoes. I need to go to target...he wants the chucks with flames. The target by me does not have his size...so later today will be a target adventure. Hopefully, I won't have to visit all the targets in Louisville to find them.
Ok...I'm going to have a back to school bash bbq. I need to let others know...ha! I bought these cute little cookies for the kids with buses on them. Spen was not happy about that. He is not happy about starting school. I'm signing up to be his room mother again this year. I love throwing the kids halloween parties. I can't wait for halloween this year!!! Baxter parade will be so much fun with both the boys as will the zoo. I need to start working on costumes.
Ok...off to get ready.
Ok....I'm sitting here with hair dye on my head. My red highlights faded to an ugly orange color...so back to brown I go. But while applying the dye to my head I heard my doorbell ring. I peeked out the window (hair dye on my head standing there in a towel) and it was the Fedex guy with some type of kid product in his hands. I had my gloves on...and seriously debated on answering the door like that. I refrained from doing so and he left the package on my front step. Turns out it was the part I "was promised" months ago to fix my swinger. Ummm...after opening it up and investigating...it's not the right one....Shoot. Now that swinger is a waste. I will now never buy a product without reading the reviews! We got the first run model of a baby swinger and it's motor stopped working. I LOVED it while it worked, but it quit after only seven months. It was also a $$$ swinger. I looked on target.com and read the reviews and a lot of people had the same issue. I hate crappy products. I called and complained and was promised a new part would be sent my way. I see how fast it came...that was months ago...and it's the wrong part all together. I give up...shhheeeeesshhhh.....
I have a million things to do..but right now...my hair is first on the list.
I have to get spen his new school shoes. I need to go to target...he wants the chucks with flames. The target by me does not have his size...so later today will be a target adventure. Hopefully, I won't have to visit all the targets in Louisville to find them.
Ok...I'm going to have a back to school bash bbq. I need to let others know...ha! I bought these cute little cookies for the kids with buses on them. Spen was not happy about that. He is not happy about starting school. I'm signing up to be his room mother again this year. I love throwing the kids halloween parties. I can't wait for halloween this year!!! Baxter parade will be so much fun with both the boys as will the zoo. I need to start working on costumes.
Ok...off to get ready.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
* * *rubs eyes * * *
I'm sooo sleepy. Ceddy and my schedule is off from Hawaii. I took two Tylenol PM's last night and they didn't kick in until this morning....grrrr...no fun. I'm dragging today. I have a million things to do...but no energy to do it.
Things on my mind in list form...
- I wish I could make sense of this spat with my mom. Life is what it is and people are who they are...
- I need to buy spens school shoes.
- I have the most loving hubby in the world.
- I need to buy new pillows...mine are crap.
- I have to have a cavity filled....boo. Apparently, where my teeth crossed it caused a cavity on the backside of a tooth...well, since I now have braces, the tooth moved and exposed the cavity. So come the 24th I have to go into my ortho office have my wire removed, drive to my dentist have my tooth filled, then drive back to my ortho office. I have no one to watch Cedric so I will be lugging him around. Grrrrr....hopefully things will work out.
- Life is what you make it. Fill it with love and joy and you will find it ever so present in your life. But fill it with jealousy, hate and sadness and it will seep into your soul. I choose to have joy. Negative thoughts will invoke you and soon you will become those thoughts, those words. I refuse to live that life. I refuse to partake in the dance of destruction and sordidness. I choose peace.
- I need to start working out again...I just have no energy to do so...grrrr....maybe a few cups of coffee will give me the much needed energy.
- I can't wait for fall!!!!!! I come alive in the fall.
- I need to trim the bushes out front...but I have cut (accidentally) all the long electric cords with the trimmers. Thank God for breakers. I would have been shocked. I'm so damn clumsy.
- This birthday and anniversary...I want to go to Salem. My birthday is October 20th and my anniversary is the 21st. I need an escape. I know I just came back from Hawaii, but Eric and I need to go away. We have only been away one night alone before. I only want to go away for the weekend. I want to take pictures and see the sights. I have a weird fascination with Halloween and witches. Have all my life. I LOVE new england...that is where my heart is. We shall see if we make it up there. I doubt it. But it's nice to dream.
- I need to go to the grocery...I HATE FOOD shopping. Since I do not cook, I go blank and buy stuff we do not need or should not have.
- Abuse. It comes in all shapes, forms, words and actions. I know a lot of people in relationships hiding it or pretending it does not exist. My heart goes out to these people. Abuse is not just by hands, but by words. Emotional, financial, or verbal abuse is still abuse and cause deeper wounds than physical. Here are some links to anyone who feels they may be in or know someone in an abusive relationship.
http://eqi.org/eabuse1.htm#Types%20of%20Emotional%20Abuse
http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm
http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Types/faces.htm
Sadly, I was in an abusive relationship before and can spot the warning signs a mile away. I feel so sorry when I see another woman covering up or making excuses for abusive behavior. I have been there myself and it is not a comforting place. My heart is with these women. Just because a partner supplies you with food, shelter and other gifts does not give them justification for owning you or your actions. Stand up for yourselves and be strong : ) If you have to make excuses for behavior something is amiss. Abuse is not just in the slums it's in middle class America. Unfortunately, there are a lot of men out there who are insecure and feel the need to control, or manipulate their partners to fill a void within themselves. I know women can abuse too. I have witnessed that as well. My heart also is with those men. No one person should dominate a relationship or have their needs, feelings or thoughts more prevalent then their partners. Ok... Phewww......abuse is such a horrific subject I hate thinking about it but is a topic that does need to be addressed....
Ok...I need to go...off to drag through another day....maybe another cup of coffee is needed.
Things on my mind in list form...
- I wish I could make sense of this spat with my mom. Life is what it is and people are who they are...
- I need to buy spens school shoes.
- I have the most loving hubby in the world.
- I need to buy new pillows...mine are crap.
- I have to have a cavity filled....boo. Apparently, where my teeth crossed it caused a cavity on the backside of a tooth...well, since I now have braces, the tooth moved and exposed the cavity. So come the 24th I have to go into my ortho office have my wire removed, drive to my dentist have my tooth filled, then drive back to my ortho office. I have no one to watch Cedric so I will be lugging him around. Grrrrr....hopefully things will work out.
- Life is what you make it. Fill it with love and joy and you will find it ever so present in your life. But fill it with jealousy, hate and sadness and it will seep into your soul. I choose to have joy. Negative thoughts will invoke you and soon you will become those thoughts, those words. I refuse to live that life. I refuse to partake in the dance of destruction and sordidness. I choose peace.
- I need to start working out again...I just have no energy to do so...grrrr....maybe a few cups of coffee will give me the much needed energy.
- I can't wait for fall!!!!!! I come alive in the fall.
- I need to trim the bushes out front...but I have cut (accidentally) all the long electric cords with the trimmers. Thank God for breakers. I would have been shocked. I'm so damn clumsy.
- This birthday and anniversary...I want to go to Salem. My birthday is October 20th and my anniversary is the 21st. I need an escape. I know I just came back from Hawaii, but Eric and I need to go away. We have only been away one night alone before. I only want to go away for the weekend. I want to take pictures and see the sights. I have a weird fascination with Halloween and witches. Have all my life. I LOVE new england...that is where my heart is. We shall see if we make it up there. I doubt it. But it's nice to dream.
- I need to go to the grocery...I HATE FOOD shopping. Since I do not cook, I go blank and buy stuff we do not need or should not have.
- Abuse. It comes in all shapes, forms, words and actions. I know a lot of people in relationships hiding it or pretending it does not exist. My heart goes out to these people. Abuse is not just by hands, but by words. Emotional, financial, or verbal abuse is still abuse and cause deeper wounds than physical. Here are some links to anyone who feels they may be in or know someone in an abusive relationship.
http://eqi.org/eabuse1.htm#Types%20of%20Emotional%20Abuse
http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm
http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Types/faces.htm
Sadly, I was in an abusive relationship before and can spot the warning signs a mile away. I feel so sorry when I see another woman covering up or making excuses for abusive behavior. I have been there myself and it is not a comforting place. My heart is with these women. Just because a partner supplies you with food, shelter and other gifts does not give them justification for owning you or your actions. Stand up for yourselves and be strong : ) If you have to make excuses for behavior something is amiss. Abuse is not just in the slums it's in middle class America. Unfortunately, there are a lot of men out there who are insecure and feel the need to control, or manipulate their partners to fill a void within themselves. I know women can abuse too. I have witnessed that as well. My heart also is with those men. No one person should dominate a relationship or have their needs, feelings or thoughts more prevalent then their partners. Ok... Phewww......abuse is such a horrific subject I hate thinking about it but is a topic that does need to be addressed....
Ok...I need to go...off to drag through another day....maybe another cup of coffee is needed.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
It seems I'm always running backwards....
For starters....I screwed up my entry way. I put wax on a no-wax floor...durrrrr...so Eric and I have been using ammonia to remove the wax. Actually, Eric has been doing most of it. We will work on that when we get back from Hawaii. Ok, Hawaii...in a few days I will be sitting on the beach not giving a care about anything. But, until then...I have clothes to wash, hair to dye, pictures to edit, a meeting with a client, packing to do and tons more. I managed to give all my boys haircuts tonight. Ceddy even got one too. I gave him a little faux-hawk. It is very difficult cutting an infants hair btw. Spen's is short and Eric is bald. I just had to cut all his hair off on that one. I've been working out like a mad woman. Grrrrr....my weight is still hovering. Maybe I can pick up a nice tape worm while I'm on the Island. Perhaps...not.
I got a pedicure today. My toes are ready for the beach. I was going to get my nails done, but I know they will chip. So I just did them myself. I'm going to pack the color....because I know they too will chip and I can touch them up. Ok pointless info. My mind is swimming with things to do. Lists, and also the fact my house is a mess. I HATE when we have house projects and the place goes to shambles.
I did score some cute earrings on clearance today for 3.59 at target. I went to two different targets today. I want to make my own skeleton key necklace...(or buy one ) That shall be this falls trendy accessory piece. I like these two. I'm going to look around some more...but I do like these. Kays has a pretty diamond one.
I can't wait to go to Kauai. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii. Eric and I were actually going to get married there :( We were going to fly our moms out there with spen and have a little ceremony on the beach. Why I let people sway my mind because of their own choices is beyond me. I even had my dress picked out.
I thought about renewing our vows. But the packages are out of this world...so maybe Eric and I might just say something from the heart on the beach to each other with out the outrages fee. Ok..pointless blog...I must go touch up my hair.
I got a pedicure today. My toes are ready for the beach. I was going to get my nails done, but I know they will chip. So I just did them myself. I'm going to pack the color....because I know they too will chip and I can touch them up. Ok pointless info. My mind is swimming with things to do. Lists, and also the fact my house is a mess. I HATE when we have house projects and the place goes to shambles.
I can't wait to go to Kauai. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii. Eric and I were actually going to get married there :( We were going to fly our moms out there with spen and have a little ceremony on the beach. Why I let people sway my mind because of their own choices is beyond me. I even had my dress picked out.
I thought about renewing our vows. But the packages are out of this world...so maybe Eric and I might just say something from the heart on the beach to each other with out the outrages fee. Ok..pointless blog...I must go touch up my hair.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Ode to the 80's yuppie...
I've become a workout monster. I want this last 5 pounds gone so I can start on my new goal weight...125. Eric is really losing and toning. We don't want our kids to grow up with couch potato parents.
Ok..I have a few stores I need to visit and two kids to bathe...so off I go.
Pointless blog...carry on.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
So.....
I have been going through all my many medical bills. Grrrr...we paid off Ceddy, but I added more to the mix with my tummy issues. Eric's ENT visit didn't help either. He was charged over 200 bucks for a consult...I call shenanigans! Oh well, that bill will set on the back burner. I have more pressing ones to pay off. It sucks sometimes being an adult. I hate paying bills!!!! I guess everyone does...but it's just annoying. We are trying to become debt free. I say this half laughingly though, because Eric and I are not good at budgeting. Soon my car will be paid off. That will be nice. Eric and I have worked hard to raise our credit score. It actually rocks now...so we are super freaks about paying stuff off. How nice would it be to have no bills with the exception of the mortgage? I really don't see us paying that one off any time soon. Ha.
Enough depressing talk...I edited pics today. I also met with a client. She's adorable...as was her family. I need to update and edit my site...but I'm being lazy.
I need to mail a CD for a client. Whewwwww...I can't wait until Hawaii!!! I scored a bathing suit the other day from the mall. It was a modest two piece that I wear in public. I don't think the local villagers will chase me with pitch forks and torches, so I'm happy with the buy. It was on sale too...a double plus. It matches Eric shorts...which is kinda funny because I did not think about it until Eric told me. So of course we'll look like that "one couple", that wears things to match on purpose.
I am 5 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy size. OMG!!! I need to lose more!!! My goal weight is 125. Ummm...yeah don't see that happening. But a gal can dream. I need to work out a lot more. Eric and I are starting to work out each night...and no that's not code for other things. Ha! We are lifting weights, doing the ab roller and the gazelle. So we shall see. Eric has already started to lose. I hate men and their ability to simply cut out cokes and lose 20 pounds....grrrrrr. I'm down to twigs and water and I'm not budging. Ok, that may be a lie...I do have a snack here and there.
Ok...off to start cleaning...my basement is calling me...
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The Deck is done dude!
I have a whole house waiting for me to clean and tons of wedding images to edit...but here I sit. I'm tired. I finished painting the deck. I'm spent...so I'm looking around online...avoiding work. I thought I would update some Chicago pics...
We had a blast on the boat tour and walking around. I want to go back without the kids and take a billion more shots. I have tons more...but I'm too lazy to upload...maybe another day.... NYC shall be next! I can't wait to go there...have always wanted to my whole life. Ok..off to do the things I'm been avoiding..
My head is literally going to explode!!!
I have so many damn ideas for this house!!! Now where to find the funding is another story...but here they are is random form...
Ok..the bedroom....
I'm in love with the first pics color palette and it's easy because my room is already pretty similar. I took down my canopy on my bed last night and I'm going to have Eric construct something similar to the box style 4 poster bed. I'm digging the two matching night stands with lamps and mirrors on both sides. The thing that sucks about this is my bed is super high so it's difficult to find night stands for it. I want the glass lamps and silver mirrors. I want the white bedding...but I'm not sure how this will fair in my household. (We eat in bed) But with white things can be bleached...so we shall see.
Kitchen....I have so many ideas for my kitchen....
We will be updating, not gutting the kitchen...lack of funds kinda sucks. We are trying to pay off all our bills...so we will try to salvage everything we can. But this shall be the color palette and I'm in love with the window treatments. I heard target has them...double plus.
Seating...
I'm in love with these two tables. The exact look I want...so who knows which one I will get. I want to put down dark bamboo in the kitchen and paint all the cabinets white. I'm going to blow up a picture I took in Chicago and have that hanging up in the kitchen too. So many ideas!!! So little money...hahahahaa.
Ceddy needs his reading nook!!! I'll be making this soon once I get my butt up to ikea.
and lastly the dreaded basement.... I'm going to have Eric build the seating...and buy the rest from Ikea. Not the rug...I actually think that is from target. We still need to paint the theater room and sand and stain the entry. Whewwwwwwwwww.....so many ideas.... Back to reality....I need to clean and finish painting the deck.
Ok..the bedroom....
I'm in love with the first pics color palette and it's easy because my room is already pretty similar. I took down my canopy on my bed last night and I'm going to have Eric construct something similar to the box style 4 poster bed. I'm digging the two matching night stands with lamps and mirrors on both sides. The thing that sucks about this is my bed is super high so it's difficult to find night stands for it. I want the glass lamps and silver mirrors. I want the white bedding...but I'm not sure how this will fair in my household. (We eat in bed) But with white things can be bleached...so we shall see.
Kitchen....I have so many ideas for my kitchen....
We will be updating, not gutting the kitchen...lack of funds kinda sucks. We are trying to pay off all our bills...so we will try to salvage everything we can. But this shall be the color palette and I'm in love with the window treatments. I heard target has them...double plus.
Seating...
I heart all of the above. I found an awesome site online that has all these chairs cheap...so we shall see...I'm thinking the middle two are the most child friendly.
I'm in love with these two tables. The exact look I want...so who knows which one I will get. I want to put down dark bamboo in the kitchen and paint all the cabinets white. I'm going to blow up a picture I took in Chicago and have that hanging up in the kitchen too. So many ideas!!! So little money...hahahahaa.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Gaga head...
Ok...I've been jamming Lady Gaga and it's stuck in my mind...
Things I've been pondering....I'm tired of not being creative anymore. I kinda feel like I've lost the artistic Nikki living in white suburbia. So with that being said...I'm back : ) I don't want to dress or feel like a middle aged bank teller or PTA super star. So I won't be editing myself anymore. Not that I have that much...but I am who I am and I will wear what my mood fancies and create what art my soul demands. My house needs more music and dance parties. I'm going to have Eric hook the surround sound up in all the rooms. We already have the wiring under the carpet for it. I love music and my children need to be exposed to more.
I don't want my children to edit themselves. I do not want them doing things they normally would not do in fear of rejection. I see this time and time again. People lose themselves to simply fit in. I myself have been guilty of this. Sometimes it's just not worth all the stares. I want my children to be conscious to others feelings and not be rude. But I do not want them to like sports if they don't. I don't want them to dress a certain way in fear that they will be made fun of. I don't want them to think they have to be a certain image to be liked. I want them to know who they are and love that person. It will help out in life so greatly. I have seen this time and again in relationships. Boy and girl meet...one fears to be left and therefore molds them self into what the other wants. What happens to their wants, needs, or desires? Swept under the rug and they are merely a shadow of themselves. Not my children. I want them to have healthy esteem. Spen worries me in this department. He's too much of a people pleaser. Hopefully, he will grow into himself and love that person. Hopefully, he will discover it's ok to not be the norm.
Holy hell Mel Gibson is so nuts. I've heard the phone messages and just wow. It's not surprising though. It goes back to the old adage how a person treats their ex is how they will treat you. People amaze me with the misconception they are "different". Nope...if a person doesn't respect others...why will they respect you? Give it time and soon the old becomes the new. I see this all the time among people I know. They put on the facade that life is great...but behind closed doors they are abused or living a loveless life. From my personal experience people often play the role of cary grant to get you and once you say I do....satan himself comes out. I want my boys to grow up to support their partners. Which leads me to another topic....I saw on a FB update about how women are supposed to be submissive to their husbands and how basically a woman's work is in the household. OMG really! Wow...I would hate to live that life. My husband and I are are a partnership. We support each other. Eric wants me to achieve my goals and I want him to achieve his. A relationship is about give and take. Not the husband rules the house. How miserable would that be? Eric and I think someone should stay home with the kids. But it doesn't matter who. I know plenty of husbands who stay at home and their wives work. It's what works for that relationship. There isn't a certain way families should be constructed. But then again the people who believe in such nuclear families are against homosexuality (lord forbid a gay couple raises children) and anything that goes against their comfort levels...so anything out of the norm for them would royally mind f*** them. If I made as much as Eric he would be the one staying home. I would just hate to be in a relationship where the husband is a tyrant. I've been in that one actually and it's horrific. I was told I chose to stay home so therefore I had to do all the housework and all the work that dealt with Spencer. My ex was hands off. He came home, he went to work. I was responsible for all the happenings of the home. Mind boggling now that I actually didn't leave sooner. Eric and I are a team. We share everything. It's funny because I know some people would think he was nuts. But he comes home from work and cooks. I HATE cooking. I know it's weird but I never have and probably never will enjoy it. Eric loves to and he's good at it. So he cooks, I clean up. He washes the clothes, but I put them away. (I hate dragging everything to the basement) I'll give Ceddy a bath, he dresses him. We are a team and he respects me. We both are equal. We both have a say so in our lives. I just don't get why someone would be opposed to that lifestyle.Women are awesome wonder beings, and anyone who wants to not let you shine or sparkle is fearful of you out shining them. I know all relationships are different, but no one should be more important than the other or have to carry burdens alone. Oh well...that's life.
I have a long list of things to do...starting with cutting the grass. It's funny, I was once told that it was the mans job. Didn't realize that. Off to start my list.
Things I've been pondering....I'm tired of not being creative anymore. I kinda feel like I've lost the artistic Nikki living in white suburbia. So with that being said...I'm back : ) I don't want to dress or feel like a middle aged bank teller or PTA super star. So I won't be editing myself anymore. Not that I have that much...but I am who I am and I will wear what my mood fancies and create what art my soul demands. My house needs more music and dance parties. I'm going to have Eric hook the surround sound up in all the rooms. We already have the wiring under the carpet for it. I love music and my children need to be exposed to more.
I don't want my children to edit themselves. I do not want them doing things they normally would not do in fear of rejection. I see this time and time again. People lose themselves to simply fit in. I myself have been guilty of this. Sometimes it's just not worth all the stares. I want my children to be conscious to others feelings and not be rude. But I do not want them to like sports if they don't. I don't want them to dress a certain way in fear that they will be made fun of. I don't want them to think they have to be a certain image to be liked. I want them to know who they are and love that person. It will help out in life so greatly. I have seen this time and again in relationships. Boy and girl meet...one fears to be left and therefore molds them self into what the other wants. What happens to their wants, needs, or desires? Swept under the rug and they are merely a shadow of themselves. Not my children. I want them to have healthy esteem. Spen worries me in this department. He's too much of a people pleaser. Hopefully, he will grow into himself and love that person. Hopefully, he will discover it's ok to not be the norm.
Holy hell Mel Gibson is so nuts. I've heard the phone messages and just wow. It's not surprising though. It goes back to the old adage how a person treats their ex is how they will treat you. People amaze me with the misconception they are "different". Nope...if a person doesn't respect others...why will they respect you? Give it time and soon the old becomes the new. I see this all the time among people I know. They put on the facade that life is great...but behind closed doors they are abused or living a loveless life. From my personal experience people often play the role of cary grant to get you and once you say I do....satan himself comes out. I want my boys to grow up to support their partners. Which leads me to another topic....I saw on a FB update about how women are supposed to be submissive to their husbands and how basically a woman's work is in the household. OMG really! Wow...I would hate to live that life. My husband and I are are a partnership. We support each other. Eric wants me to achieve my goals and I want him to achieve his. A relationship is about give and take. Not the husband rules the house. How miserable would that be? Eric and I think someone should stay home with the kids. But it doesn't matter who. I know plenty of husbands who stay at home and their wives work. It's what works for that relationship. There isn't a certain way families should be constructed. But then again the people who believe in such nuclear families are against homosexuality (lord forbid a gay couple raises children) and anything that goes against their comfort levels...so anything out of the norm for them would royally mind f*** them. If I made as much as Eric he would be the one staying home. I would just hate to be in a relationship where the husband is a tyrant. I've been in that one actually and it's horrific. I was told I chose to stay home so therefore I had to do all the housework and all the work that dealt with Spencer. My ex was hands off. He came home, he went to work. I was responsible for all the happenings of the home. Mind boggling now that I actually didn't leave sooner. Eric and I are a team. We share everything. It's funny because I know some people would think he was nuts. But he comes home from work and cooks. I HATE cooking. I know it's weird but I never have and probably never will enjoy it. Eric loves to and he's good at it. So he cooks, I clean up. He washes the clothes, but I put them away. (I hate dragging everything to the basement) I'll give Ceddy a bath, he dresses him. We are a team and he respects me. We both are equal. We both have a say so in our lives. I just don't get why someone would be opposed to that lifestyle.Women are awesome wonder beings, and anyone who wants to not let you shine or sparkle is fearful of you out shining them. I know all relationships are different, but no one should be more important than the other or have to carry burdens alone. Oh well...that's life.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Freezing....
It's cold in my office.
Updates in list form...since I'm too lazy to write paragraphs....
- had a blast in Chicago and Michigan.( I love exploring new places)
- need to edit pics
- need to finish up on house projects
- need to stop being so negative. It's draining me.
- need to get a handle on my ADD...it's driving me nuts.
- must wash clothes, tomorrow shall be laundry day.
- can't wait for Hawaii...I am beyond excited.
- I need to buy a bathing suit for said trip.
- still cannot believe we are going to Hawaii
- can hear spen talking in his sleep in his room...kinda funny.
- I need to stop trying to understand people. People are who they are, will never change nor make sense.
- Flash and show is simply that.
- I'm blessed and I'm very thankful for my life
- I need to work on my business more
- I have so many ideas, I need to find a way to have some order within the madness
- I need to take a breath and let everything unfold
- I'm tired.
- my house is a mess
- my deck is still not finished.
- I wish I could sleep at the times of the day I should
- I wish people understood me
- I wish I didn't care as much as I do
- happy about Eric's raise, he deserves it
- poor ceddy is teething
- I need to take spen out alone...we need a mommy spen date....it's been too long
- I want to go back to the drive-in
- people amuse me
- I need to relax
.......life goes on...we are who we are...no matter what others think or percieve us to be....I am me and nothing more : )
Updates in list form...since I'm too lazy to write paragraphs....
- had a blast in Chicago and Michigan.( I love exploring new places)
- need to edit pics
- need to finish up on house projects
- need to stop being so negative. It's draining me.
- need to get a handle on my ADD...it's driving me nuts.
- must wash clothes, tomorrow shall be laundry day.
- can't wait for Hawaii...I am beyond excited.
- I need to buy a bathing suit for said trip.
- still cannot believe we are going to Hawaii
- can hear spen talking in his sleep in his room...kinda funny.
- I need to stop trying to understand people. People are who they are, will never change nor make sense.
- Flash and show is simply that.
- I'm blessed and I'm very thankful for my life
- I need to work on my business more
- I have so many ideas, I need to find a way to have some order within the madness
- I need to take a breath and let everything unfold
- I'm tired.
- my house is a mess
- my deck is still not finished.
- I wish I could sleep at the times of the day I should
- I wish people understood me
- I wish I didn't care as much as I do
- happy about Eric's raise, he deserves it
- poor ceddy is teething
- I need to take spen out alone...we need a mommy spen date....it's been too long
- I want to go back to the drive-in
- people amuse me
- I need to relax
.......life goes on...we are who we are...no matter what others think or percieve us to be....I am me and nothing more : )
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