Focus...

Ok...my hair looks horrid.  I thought I would braid it to add some beach waves to it.  Ummm....no...I look like Phil Spector.

I was wanting this...

 

Long way off.

Today is crazy busy.  I have a million things ot do.  Thankfully, I woke up this morning with energy.  I have a feeling today will be a great day!  Cedric ate a french toast stick this morning.  The little stinker told me no at first and shook his head.  Oh, the joys of food therapy.  I'm not allowed to be negative or forceful.  I have to support him when he's slinging tomato sauce all over my white kitchen and I have to encourage him to do so.  Funnnnnnnnnnnnn...but today I was a little forceful for the mere fact I KNEW he would love it.  So I rubbed the french toast stick across his mouth a few times and left it on his tray.  When I had first laid it down he said no no and dropped it off his tray. HA. He's such a stinker, but after he got a taste of the stick he snatched it up and ate the majority of it.  HAPPY DAY!!!  I'm excited about his new found eating ability.  Eric and I are constantly giving him new things to try and he's doing wonderfully with them.  Yay!!!

Tax time is upon us and Eric and I are going to do something CRAZY.  We are going to up our exemptions.  Woah...this means we won't be getting a fat refund next year.  But my lady suze orman recommends it and it does make sense.  Why let Uncle Sam use my money when I could be using it during the year.  Eric and I are trying to get rid of all debt.  Cars, credit cards, etc.  We got burned at our old house trying to sell it.  The market crashed and we were left with debt from remodeling the place.  But if we hadn't remodeled, we wouldn't have been able to sell.  Student loans have been paid off.  My car is about to be paid off.  We've had A LOT of medical bills in the past we had to pay too.  The joys of giving birth in the good ol' USA with insurance.  So...this year is the start of Eric and I taking control of our finances.  We have been sticking to a budget really well.  I'm calling today to see if I can find cheaper car and home insurance.  We are paying way too much for our current plans.  Fingers crossed I find a good deal.


I have to plan spen's v-day party today along with a whole basement full of laundry.  I think I'll shock Eric when he comes home to no dirty clothes.  It will be a miracle. (He does the laundry)  Tomorrow is my dermatologist appointment. It's so annoying my face ALWAYS clears up before I go to them so they look at me like I'm nuts when I tell them how bad I can break out.  Oh well.

Eric and I are starting to work out together again.  Eric is dragging his feet on the subject, but he has to...he's getting older and his body isn't a teenagers anymore.  We did crunches and lifted weights last night.  I plan on walking on the treadmill today and lifting weights.  Zumba was really fun...and I think it was a great work out.  I look forward to doing it again.  I told Eric maybe he should start swimming.  He loves to swim and it is the best all body workout.  He's lost about 20 pounds himself.  We both need to get into shape.  I know this spring we will start hiking again.  Both kids love it.  Poor Eric, Ceddy is heavier now so wearing him on his back shall be interesting.  I love seeing a daddy wearing a baby.  It shows such love and gentleness.  I'm a dork. 

Ok let's get this party started...off to start the day.

Sssshhhh shut yo mouth...

I had my NeNe fix today.  I worked out to Tabitha. I need do some crunches today.  I lifted weights and walked for a half an hour.  I can feel my old self coming back : )

I have a crazy schedule this coming week.  I have to plan the Spen's valentine party. I have a doctor appointment Tuesday and Thursday.  Funnnn....Food therapy and I'm going to try to get a baby hour in at the library.  I'm thinking about using the queen of hearts theme for the valentine party.  A little Alice and Wonderland.  I can't make it too girlie. The boys in the class will have a fit.

Eric and I need to start on our taxes today.  Funnnnnn...I'm still waiting for my w2s from the paper.

Eric is currently watching the IT crowd.  I myself find it amusing.  I love a good British comedy.  Mother fudging lift is broken : ) Heh.

I found a couch that would work in the basement at Macys

Ok...pointless entry...off to look for new bedding and pick up some medicine. 

Zumba baby...

I have no rhythm.  I dance like an awkward elderly person, but I will admit I had a blast in zumba class this morning.  I'm extremely out of shape.  But I did in fact have fun : )  My stupid toe is killing me.  Long and annoying story there...but it kept me from really delving into class.  I plan on going back.  Sarah and I hung out in the back of the class and thankfully there weren't any mirrors so in my mind I was a latin dancing fool, now in reality...I probably looked like Elaine from seinfeld.

We took the kids to their swim classes after our class.  The actually went to the deep side of the pool today and looked terrified at times jumping off.  But it was good for them.

I've jammed my thumb some how.  It's annoying.  It's swollen and doesn't want to bend...can we say good times.  I'm falling apart : )

I had fun shopping with Amanda yesterday.  I bought some new blush and new Hello Kitty perfume.  Smells lovely.  I wanted to buy more makeup, but alas I also like making a mortgage payment and that stuff isn't cheap at sephora.  So I settled for a few pick me ups.

I think I'm going to take a little nap.  Spen is at the movies with my mother in law and Ceddy is asleep.   Eric is off shopping for nerd stuff and bringing food home.  So sweet dreams to me.

Tick tock...

Weird insight on me for the day...

 I have to do things in three.  It's annoying and very OCD.  But if you notice...all my "..." are threes. 
It's annoying because Eric teases me with kisses.  He'll give me two on purpose just so I have to sneak a third.  I've been like this for most of my life.  My OCD used to be worse when I was younger.  But now...it's just quirky.  I don't have to touch things three times or any of that jazz.  It's just odd stuff that have to be represented by three.


Eric was asked last night if he would move up to cub master.  He was kinda taken aback.  He hasn't officially decided what he will do.  But he would be an awesome cub master.  This is such a funny realization for me. My hubby, the ex body piercer, the computer nerd, the guy who is against the "man" will probably be a cub master.  Hahhahahaaa...I love our little weird family.  Eric would do such an awesome job.  He's great with the kids.  He knows how much to push them and when to back off.  He knows what is useful information and what is a time waster.  I'm really proud of him.  He's really coming into his own at being a great father and role model for the boys.  I know a lot of people laugh and make fun of the boy scouts, but holy hell they do an awesome job for boys.  Eric will be the first to tell you all that he knows about the outdoors is attributed to the boy scouts.  I think it's great for kids to learn respect...not just for God, country and all that jazz, but more so for their fellow man.  I think it will nice to have a liberal cub master.  Eric is very pc and will incorporate all walks of life into his troop.  He is very intolerant of teasing and disrespect to others or their beliefs.  I think it's vital for kids now a days to learn respect.  It's often times not taught at home and kids are exposed to so many outside influences via, tv, games or the internet so having a good base is key for them to grow up to be nice kind men.  Eric has one draw back...the religion aspect of boy scouts.  He doesn't subscribe to any religion and mostly is agnostic.  He doesn't want to push anyone into any ideas.  We have a variety of kids from Jewish, to catholic to who knows what.  The current cub master doesn't push his beliefs either.  We shall see what becomes of his decision.  I know he wants to do it and I support him.  It will be a lot of work.  He will be responsible for the whole middletown troop.   But if anyone I would want doing it would be Eric. 

Sephora field trip today : )  Amanda and I are going to go out to the mall.  I haven't had a girls trip to the mall in awhile.  Hopefully, Cedric will feel up to it.

I did the scale thing today and winced because I have been popping the whole foods bite sized brownies like it's going out of style.  It actually hovered over 131, but went back to 132.  Damn you brownie goddess...if I hadn't indulged so much yesterday maybe I would be 131.  I walked on the treadmill last night watching bewitched.  I did crunches at 2 am...not a good idea.  My blood was pumping and sleep was the farthest thing from my mind.

My face is breaking out...funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.  I hate it.  But that's life. I'm over my bangs.  I wish I hadn't cut them last month.  They looked good at first.  But now I'm over them.

Ok, off to start the day.

Fill in blank....

I feel blah...

I hurried this morning.  I tried my very hardest to get out the door and to baby hour at the library and I failed miserably.  I was running late and then made a late turn into St. Matthews and ended up getting lost in a neighborhood.  I tried using my phone but I got annoyed with it so I ended up saying screw it and went shopping at JoAnns.  I bought some buttons for my kickass practically free coat : )  I had lunch with the hubs.  Had an argument with the hubs over said lunch.  Long story but he chose a place close to his work...which is also close to U of L and it was indeed lunch time so it was beyond crowded and we had a stroller with us.  Not a good combination and my winter blues are kicking in so I was a royal bitch.  I owned up to my bitchiness and we ended up at panera enjoying ourselves after leaving the tiny Mongolian place.  I went to whole foods and bought some drinks, bit size brownies and some potatoes.  I'm sure the guy checking me out thought I was nuts.  Oh well.

Ok, so while driving home I was rocking out to lady gaga and I look over to see a hearse sitting at the light right beside me.  It was not a funeral procession or anything. I wasn't sure if there was a person who had passed in the car or not.  I was just curious to what the driver was listening to.  I know weird thought.  But I wonder if they rock out while picking up the dead or just driving around town.  They're people too.  Ok...dumb thought...but I'm always curious to what people listen to in their car.  I personally am a singer and constantly have to catch myself to stop singing at stop lights...people tend to look at me like I'm nuts.

Saturday is zumba class. I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't nervous or fearful for not looking like a total idiot.  But oh well...it shall be fun nonetheless. 

I actually cleaned yesterday and from what I gather hell did not freeze over.  I vacuumed my bedroom and cleaned my bathroom.  We need to light a match to that room and just start over.  It needs a major update.  I'm not looking forward to that though.  Eric and I have talked about taking down a wall...adding a garden tub...re-tiling.  I'm just tired of projects....sheeeshhhhhhhhhh.  But it needs to be done.  I hate my bed.  It was a spur of the moment purchase.  I love how comfy it is...I just don't like the detail work on it.  But oh well...I'm stuck with it...so I'll have to make it work.

Eric got his w2's  I'm currently waiting on mine.  Oh joy...taxes.  Hopefully, we get enough back this year to pay some stuff off.  That would be dreamy. 

I want to have a HUGE yard sale...aka get rid of crap we do not need or like anymore.  I'm having issues with baby stuff.  I can't part with a lot of stuff.  I'm not sure if we are done or not.  It sucks not knowing.  But I can part with a lot of decor stuff I'm over. 

I need to mount some pics on foamcore.  I'm going to hang them up in the basement.  I don't like doing glass frames down there because the kids go ape shit down there and throw things around.  I'm sure things will get knocked off the wall and broken so frameless we shall be.  I want to do canvas prints too.  I just need to buy some canvas.  I'm lazy.

I really can't wait for spring. I told Eric I want to get a zoo pass this year.  I plan on taking Cedric there a lot.  It's fun for the family, a great work out (damn hills) and would give me something to do during the day with Ceddy.  I want out of this house.  Living in Florida is starting to look really nice right now.  I'm over this snow!!!


Ok...I just watched this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elaXeN15isM

and wept.  That poor couple was robbed of happiness.  It's just sad.  No matter how crappy or hard life seems...it could always be worse.  Steven Tyler was a gem....I just hate seeing sad things.  Life can truly be not fair.  That's something my mom would always tell me..."no one said life was fair".  

Ok...off to call Eric and see when he's coming home.  Tomorrow is my Sephora date : )  I need some new primer and blush.

Happy!!!

Today I weighed myself as I do every day the first thing in the morning and the scale said 132!!!  Woohoo!!! I'm more motivated to start working out harder.  I'm excited : )  My goal weight of 128 is just over the little hill and I can see it.  I'm excited can you tell?

Yesterday turned out awesome.  I took Cedric with me to my doctor appointment.  I usually have to wait a small eternity in there so I packed basically the house and took it with me to entertain Cedric.  I waited no longer than 5 minutes in the waiting room.  OMG...a miracle.  Then while walking back to the examining room I ran into my doctor and she told me she didn't even recognize me I had lost so much weight.  She was like wow. She was like you're half your size. Ummm...last time I went there I thought I had lost a lot of weight...ego ouch.  But it's nice to see I have lost it. Pregnancy does not agree with my body : (  But I'm happy I've lost the weight and am now getting to my goal weight.  Squeallllllll......

I checked out the other fresh market and liked it.  Double yay.

Finished my last scarf for a while...it's truly a knitting addiction. I woke this morning to snow.  I had no idea we were going to get any...ha.  So I checked to see the kids were out of school and when back to bed.  It was nice sleeping in. 

Cedric's food therapist called and said she is running late so I don't have to rush like a frantic person cleaning my house. I've had some weird good luck this week.  It's a nice change.  I cleaned my bedroom and closet up last night.  After Ceddy's feeding therapy I plan on really cleaning.  Over haul cleaning..heh.  I'm tired of clutter and I'm tired of how things look.  It's driving me nuts. 

I like this bedding and am debating on buying it...I read in the reviews and they claim that it's more of a brown than gray.  Hummmmm......
 

Random silly pics from yesterday...

We were being silly in Targets parking lot and also at home.  Now this is my most favorite pic of yesterday....

 I scored a kickass coat for actually 15 bucks!!!  I got an additional 10% off because it was missing some buttons on the belt.  WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.   I love deals.  Best part....drum rolllllllllll....it was a SMALL....and it fit me like a glove.  Swoonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.....

Ok, I know I say this EVERY week...but I'm going to try to get my butt up to baby hour at the library this week.  Ha!  I know it sounds like a broken record...but I need to.  I might see if a fb buddy would like to come along.  I feel bad because I've taken spen to so many and actually took Cedric with us, but I haven't taken Cedric to one designated for babies. We shall see how it goes.  On crap...I just remembered I need to read my book club book.  I'm always so behind on everything...

I'm debating on trying the microdermabrasion they do at the spa at my doctors office.  They also have deep pore facials.  I have a few enlarged pores and a few acne scars that are annoying.  I talked with the woman yesterday who said the microdermabrasion would get rid of them.  But that I would be super sensitive to sunlight and could cause hyper-pigmentation. So I'm thinking about it.  I might try the facial and go from there...

Off to clean then workout...

Sleepyyyyyyy.....

I made a huge mommy mistake yesterday and let Cedric take his afternoon nap way too late...aka went to bed way too early.  So this morning from 2-4 am...guess who was my best buddy?  I'm dragging today.  I need coffee.  But I'm trying to be good.  I've only had one cup since I decided to cut back.  I have to go to the lovely girlie parts doctor today for my annual.  FUNNNNnnnnnnn....nothing says good times like a speculum.  Ha!  I'm taking my little action packed buddy with me...so this will be interesting.  Stroller...stroller...stroller.  Their waits are usually out of this world.  If it gets too long I'll reschedule.  I'll be sure to bring toys and hand sanitizer with me.

I knitted almost two scarves yesterday.  Go me!  I did them in the afternoon after Spen got off school.  I laid in bed watching Bewitched knitting.  I know, I lead such an exciting life.

My friend and I are going to try a zumba class the next neighborhood over....(they teach them in their club house)  It's only 5 bucks so what's the harm?  Apparently it's all the rage on FB.  I've had four different FB buddies talking about it. One of my FB friends does it at a community center and she loved it. My friend has done it before and she knows the instructor.  Apparently, the instructors children attend ours kids school. This shall be interesting.  We kinda gave up on the water aerobics.  It was too gentle...aka...we were too young for the class.  The deep water is still going to happen one day.  I've been working out again at night.  Crunches and lifting weights.  I'm still way out of shape...so I'm pretty terrified of the zumba thing.  But hell, I'll give anything a shot once.  We talked about also trying belly dancing and hot yoga.  It's fun to mix it up.

I've been rearranging the kids rooms.  I'm determined to clean this house.  Now me sitting here blogging instead of doing so should really be a great display of how "determined" I am.  Meh....it will happen.

The kids closets are done...woo hoo!!! Below are the closet organizers I scored for only $29 bucks.  I had a plethora of hangers left after the cleaning.  Also, I still have to finish filling them with their clothes...but they are organized nonetheless :)

I should have taken before pics...but oh well...














 Added below are random pics taken...spen's new glasses and ceddy out to eat. 

I need to go to the grocery.  I'm thinking about going to the other Fresh Market.  I need food in this house.  But that store is so dangerous to me...I always have to buy cookies.  Whole Foods can be a beast to shop in.  I hate when it's crowded.  I've discovered that most grocery stores have started carrying a lot of the same stuff WF carries and way cheaper : )  Always a plus.   I do like a few of the things you can get there and only there...but who knows where the day will lead me...off to shave my legs...the joys of being a girl  : (

Kinda freaking out!!!

Ok, we took Cedric to the ENT.  It was confirmed he's tongue tied and he has to have surgery :(  He wouldn't let the doctor even examine his ears without a fight.  So there was no way he could clip his tongue in the office.  I discussed all my fears and concerns about sedation and he reassured me that the gas would be the best option.  He said it would be around 5-10...no big deal.  We are having it done at Kosair Children's Hospital.  I'm just freaking out that a. my little guy will be in pain and b. he has to be sedated.   I know of a little girl who they gave too much anaesthesia to and later died at home.  I'm just super worried.  But I know it will help on his eating drastically.  You can see when he takes a bite of something he doesn't have the tongue dexterity to move it to the side of his mouth.  The piece of food just sits there.  It sucks we have to pay $250 for the surgery.  OUCH!  What is the use of insurance, because that is just the dr's fee, not the fee for the hospital or anesthesiologist.  I'm just tired of bills.

I kinda need a break...a get away very soon.  Just Eric and myself.  We are thinking about maybe going away for a night or something sometime.  It's too cold for Chicago or anywhere up north.  So who knows.  I'm just in need of a much needed break.


Ok...I can't think straight...so I'm going to fix lunch while Ceddy naps.

***Edited...I'm still freaking out***  I know it's a minor surgery but I really really really hate him being sedated.  (every time I hear the word sedated I think of the Ramones) Eric is really calm and awesome about the whole thing.  I'm just freaking out.  I about started crying thinking about him away from me in the surgery room.  I read the info they gave me about surgery and all that jazz.  My nerves have not been calmed...if anything amplified with fear.  I just hate him having to go through this.  It seems we never can get a break!!!  Hell, I'm just tired of worrying.  I know that's a momma's job to do.  I just want to take my family and go away some place warm.  Hummmm....dreaming of Hawaii. Off to clean and knit I go...

what to do today...

Something fun with the hubs? or being productive and clean this house...hummmm....

Current random thoughts...

-totally excited the new alarm system is installed and up and running.  Yay for safe homes : )
- I need to still buy my book club book...hahahahaha...I'm so bad at being proactive and buying things as soon as I should.
- I need to plan Spen's class v-day party.  I want to do the theme in the queen of hearts/alice in wonderland.  Now how to incorporate this is beyond me.  I'll figure something out.
- I need to go to target...I have a bunch of things I need to purchase.
- I need to wk out...eeekkkk...I'd rather not.

I'm just about done knitting another cowl.  I need to finish it. I think I'm going to buy a thinner loom to make little stuffed animals and whatnot.  Maybe.  I have a bunch of things to do...so off I go...getting dressed and applying my complexion is the first step...have a great day internet land.

Nothing says fun like...

a little lazer tag...or so I hear.  Cedric and I watched Spen and Eric play today.  They had fun...then we couldn't decide where to eat so we roamed aimlessly around and finally decided on Panera Bread....blah.

I'm in a weird mood...thinking about life and thinking about our future plans.  Eric and I talked the other day about more kids...I honestly don't know.   He doesn't either.  I'm kinda a little lost on the that subject...

I had fun with Sarah at JoAnns....it's nice to see I'm not the only indecisive shopper.  I think we're going to sign the boys up again for swim lessons after this set is over.  They are doing really well, and the weather should be warming up by then. I think I'm going to attempt the deep water arobics.  EEKkkk!!!  Hopefully, I don't cling to the edge of the pool.

I bought more yarn today...just what I needed...ha.  I did score two sets of sweet buttons.  I adore buttons.  I found some really cute bee ones...but how to incorporate them into an art project...hummmmmmm....

I need to pick my wedding bands up...they were re-sized forever ago.


Ok...off to workout and watch a movie...and maybe knit....

The children have drifted away to slumber...

The hubs is working on something downstairs ( I'm sure goofing off with the new security system) and I'm sitting in front of my computer having given up on cleaning today.

I did manage to clean both the boys closets, and Eric the great installed a new closet organizer in ceddys.  I'm just too tired to do after thought cleaning.  What to purge, what to keep.  What to sell, what to save...yadda yadda yadda.  I'm sleepy.I'm in a weird mood...I'm having some self realizations going on...and it's kinda freaking me out.  Long story there...

My pics won't upload for some reason on well...


Ceddy ate garlic bread tonight and LOVED it.  I was so excited!!!  I thought he would just lick it.  But he got a lot more down then I had dreamed he would.  He's so funny...he loves flavor.

I was thinking about my last post...and remembered I did try a baby carrier with spen...hehehehehe...I found it while cleaning Cedric's closet out.  I had forgotten all about it. But I remembered why I didn't use a carrier for him...he couldn't breath very well in it because if his torticollis.  I found a lot in the kids closets.  Sheeshhhh...I'm borderline hoarder.  I did find a I was here, 94, 95, 96, 97 scribed in the back of Cedric's closet.  I had never noticed it before. I love little trinkets like that.  It gives the house character.  As much character a 1986 house can have...hehehee.

I'm missing an old friend tonight.  I hate how our friendship ended...and I hate that I'm sure it can never be mended.  I just hate having negative vibes out there...and I hate not having a friend to fill that void.

I need to get out.  I need to clear my mind.  I've been in this house for way too long.  Yoga and some meditation is what I need.  I might do that tonight.  Ok...off I go to get my peace on....pointless blog...

Attachment parenting

I'm writing this while Eric gives Ceddy a bath....and I'm having a mommy break...a much needed mommy break.

Attachment parenting is something Eric and I practice.  I practiced it with Spen when he was little before I even knew there really was a name for what I did.  Here are the 7 Baby b's for attachments parenting....

1. birth bonding...I breastfed both babies immediately after birth and did skin to skin bonding.  I loved having them lay on my chest with skin to skin touching.  I loved holding onto their tiny hands and studying their little features.

2. Breastfeeding.  I did with both boys, but kinda quit early.  For some reason I get mastitis and depression every time I breastfeed.  I felt horrible quitting, but if momma isn't happy, no one is happy.

3. Babywearing...I held spen.  I had no clue about slings or wraps then.  But I held that baby every where we went and all day long. He was attached to my hip and along we would go.  I wore Ceddy out and about and during the day a lot when he was younger.  He's more independent.  It's nuts how independent he is.  He still likes to get in his sling and walk around, but I know he would rather he running right now.

4. Bedding close to baby.  I did this with both babies.  Spen I co-slept.  Cedric had a co-sleeper that attached to our bed and he now still sleeps in our room.  He will give me cues to when he is ready to go to his room.  Nighttime is scary for babies.  It breaks my heart thinking they have NEVER been alone and why just since a child is born should I FORCE him into getting used to being alone?  It's amazing how ass backwards most of america is and the data they spit forth about how they should get used to being alone?  They should to make themselves go to sleep.  Really?  People have been sleeping next to their babies from the beginning of time and I really do not see how making a newborn sleep in their own room is beneficial for more than anyone other than the parents.

5. Belief in the Language value of your baby's cry.  I really never have believed in letting a child "cry it out".  Esp when they are young.  Now that Cedric is older and I can tell his tired cries from his series ones, then I will admit I do hang back and see if he soothes himself.  But not in the beginning.  I learned with both boys their different cries and learned how to decipher them.  Esp when they were young I answered them with open mommy arms and hugs.  That is a babies natural way to get what they need and even if it is for a hug, or reassurance they should be answered.

6. Beware of baby trainers...kinda the same answer as above...just that I really take no head of "helpful" advice from people who do not practice the parenting style I do.

7. Balance....this is the hardest and trickiest.   We take our children with us everywhere.  I personally feel guilty if I do not expose them to new things I get to experience. I want my kids to see everything I do and more.   I know there will be a time they will be on their own and I can do all that I like.  But from the moment they were born we have incorporated them into our daily lives.  From grocery shopping to restaurants. My oldest can hold his own at a 5 start restaurant better than some men I know.  I kinda think exposing them young and having them grow up within things that you love to do allows for you to not lose your mind. Ha...I couldn't imagine not dining out, or going out in public because I can't handle the kids. It's a very hard task to find balance in being a good parent and having me or couple time.  I think a lot is mind power.  Telling yourself you can do it and pushing forward.  Eric and I still sneak off and do couple stuff.  This is farther apart then I like, but we really do not have the means right now for more.  We do everything ourselves.  I hate asking grandparents to watch the kids...and they have their own live...as I'm reminded often..  So Eric and I take turns on having me moments.  I can honestly say my kids are awesome because of attachment parenting and the lifestyle it encompasses.  I know it's not for everyone.  But it works for us.  Balance is hard.  While Eric has been traveling I have been on my own again.  My heart goes out to all the single parents out there.  Esp the single parents that are awesome parents.  It is beyond tough, and my hat goes off to you.  I can remember being a single mom.  It's hard!  I had a mom and family helping me out, but still the balance is swayed and you are always feeling something is missing out.  The guilt you feel from working, to going out to socialize or the guilt you feel for yourself for not going out.  It's a double edged sword.  It seems parenthood is full of those moments.  They say a human brain cannot do two things at once and one thing will always be neglected somewhat when doing two things at once.  Hence, why I'm not jumping head first into my work or the work force.  I love my babies, and I love being able to go to their school functions or hold ceddy while he drifts off to sleep.  These are precious moments I can never get back.  But on the flip side...my business could be booming, I could be rolling in money or I could be out socializing more.  But I choose the snuggles over the other.  I know a lot of parents have to work.  I had to.  I hated it.  I can remember crying driving to Humana because my little guy had begged me not to go.  I used to leave lipstick kisses on his face when I left every morning so he could see I loved on him when he woke up.  I have lived one crazy rocky life and have seen the view of the spectrum from both sides and the mommy side wins every time.  I'm sure once Ceddy starts preschool I'll start working more.  But until then...I'll enjoy this time.


Both parents need to practice AP...if not it's one parent DOING EVERYTHING for a child. Not fair.  I feel like it's absurd for one person to be the one and all.  I stay at home...but my hubs shares in the parenting.  We split chores and he helps out greatly.   My ex was a jerk who would say that I "chose" to stay home and therefore was responsible for everything in the household...child included.  I can honestly say I could count on one hand how many times he bathed him.  Anything out of public view was all for me to do.  I had to cook, clean and take care of the baby...how 1950's of me...gag....oh how that relationship crashed and burned.  But I learned what not to do and learned what I wanted out of a partner.  I have been through hell...but I ended up with a great man and partner out of that horrid time. So yay for that!


****Edited****

I forgot to post this last night...I was called away from the computer.  I'm currently on hold with LG & assholness E.  They are claiming they did not receive our last payment....although I'm starring at it on my bank account having been removed.  I think I've entered purgatory at some point unaware and this shall be my task for the next 100 years or so...ok...dramatic yes, but I hate being on hold!!!

The kids are off school today.  I was happy I didn't have to get up early and make breakfast and pack spen's lunch.  It was a nice sleep in moment, until Ceddy started singing...heheheheee.  He's funny. 

Just put the phone down on speaker.  I really do not think their representatives are there.

Ok, it's hardcore workout time!!!  I want to get my ass in shape and feeling better.  I have a date with the ab cruncher and treadmill today.  We shall see if I show up...

GRRRRRRRR!!! I just waited a small eternity to find out they received my payment and a phone call was incorrectly sent out warning of disconnection.  I hate LG&E!!!

ok...off to get the day started....

Let the cookie baking begin!!!

I have been on a cookie frenzy.  I've been buying them like crazy...and eating them like crazy as well.  I'm going to pop a few in the oven in a bit.


I'm over the moon my Eric is on his way home!!!  My heart is in my throat because he is driving through this snow mess.  He told me he was almost hit head on but thankfully the guard rail stopped the on coming truck!  OMG!!!  I told him to drive slow and safe.  I can't wait until he gets home!  I love and miss him to death.  It's been hard while he was away.  I work non-stop with the two kids. I need a mini vaca when he gets back.  Two weeks of nothing but mommy overload kinda makes one go crazy.  Add the snow to the mix...not a pretty picture.  Eric helps out with the kids so much...I feel so wore out when he's away.   I haven't been getting any sleep at night due to the new found habit my son has developed.  He now likes to cover his head with blankets.  Scares me to death...so throughout the night I'm checking to see if he has a blanket on his head or if he is cold. 

I don't get people.  Sometimes the answer is right below your nose.  People will blame everything else but the real culprit.  If people were to take an honest look at a situation, they would know the truthful answer.



I have an appointment for Ceddy to have his tongue checked out.  Hopefully, he will not have to be sedated.

I have some ideas of what I would like to do with our family room.  But I just don't know what I really could do to keep it kid friendly.  I hate when I look up inspirational pics for my room... they look nothing like what I can do. I a. do not live in a loft or flat. nor b. can have white couches or a lot of $$$ in there.  The set up is really weird in there and I have a number of crazy factors, fireplace, doors, windows.  I'm just not sure how I should lay it out.  Also, I give up on the nice furniture...the kids will only destroy it.  I just hate that we had to rush with this house and just make quick decisions on certain things.  Now I need to go back and really take a look at what I want. I really like this layout and furniture set.  But I hate leather...I want something comfy and something that will resist stains.  I can't have two chairs due to the fact we have a tv occupying a lot of space and a huge ass fireplace occupying the rest of the space.  Ho hum....I shall figure something out.

I also hate the windows in there.  I'm thinking about doing a whole wall window treatment.  I have an idea for artwork.  Blow up some Chicago pics.  Ok...Eric just called and he's only 30 minutes away!!!  Yay!!!  Ok..off to make those cookies : )

Paddling backward

I hate when you can't get anything accomplished!!!  I feel like I'm just treading water or actually going backwards.  I clean my kitchen.  It either gets trashed by the boys.  Ceddy's food therapy ends up on the walls, floor and everything else.  I just want a pause button.  Ceddy's food therapist is coming today at 12:30.  He is making strides one day and stops the next.  I'm sure I will be bald before this child is 5.  I think almost every room in my house needs cleaned.  I just don't have it in me to actually make it happen. So I will sit in my house of dust and dirty clothes.  Ha! I need to organize all the closets in this house.  They are driving me insane.  I need to go through toys like yesterday.  I swear my house looks like a toy shop.


I think for V-day I might take Eric to the gun range.  He'd like that.  I've never been...that should be interesting and funny. I might invite some friends and double date.  How redneck of me..but I think the swank range they just opened up might be fun.  He deserves to do something he likes.  He has a HUGE home project to do this weekend and I really am not looking forward to starting it.  I know he is not as well.

Ceddy is so funny...he is becoming a little parrot.  He shocked my mom yesterday by running around with a toy camera saying cheese to everyone.  She was like I had no idea he could say cheese and know to say that when a picture is taken.  Hello, my child.

I have a bunch of things to do today (boring stuff)...so off I go. Hopefully, I won't be too bored and lonely this week. I need to find some things to do.  I hope everyone in internet land has a great week.

Life

Life is one event after another throwing you into this journey everyday.  You wake up, you start anew, you move forward. 


I had a gastro doctor. appointment today.  I have the worlds best hubby who went with me.  He always goes to the doctors that make me nervous.  I like my gastro dr. but he is a mumbler.  I can hardly understand all that he says so it helps having Eric there to decipher what he says.  Also, I get super nervous going to that dr.  I have no idea why.  But Eric helps calm my nerves.  He usually makes me laugh or laughs at my silliness.

I shall be bored and busy this week.  I hope we don't get the snow they are predicting.  My driveway is a bitch in snow.

My doctor gave me two new pills to try out.  Lovely...hopefully, they help with the tummy issues.  Eric and I laughed at how I was the youngest person in the office.  It's kinda scary if you really think about it...what will I be like at 70? Scary sight.

My mom let me borrow her circle loom....new projects...swoon :)

Hopefully, this week runs smoothly.  Not looking forward to c/s.

My son made me smile and warmed my heart so much today...I was dropping him off for school and I watched him enter the school building as I always do...I saw him go in and then come back to the door and hold it open for a teacher that was entering.  He did it all on his own.  I guess maybe I'm doing something right with this mother gig and I was so overjoyed to see him growing up to be a gentleman.  They are few and far between.  But yay for making momma proud!!!

So it starts with an itch...

I have an itch to try something different.  I have enough on my plate before me.  But I'm kinda interested in something and am debating on giving it a whirl...we shall see.....

This week is jammed packed.  Tomorrow I have to go to the doctor.  Fun...eyes rolling.  Hopefully, there is a magic pill for my tummy issues.  I have a makeup play date with Amanda and another feeding therapy sessions set for Cedric.   I'm so tired.  This weekend was a bust.   We replaced some stuff around the house but the weather was too cold.  I froze most of the weekend.  I need to get my ass on my treadmill.  Spen did awesome at his swim lesson.  I think he could really be good at swimming....team good if he wanted to.  He loves the water. 

ok...I have a long list of things I have to get done...so off I go to check them off one by one...

weird mood...

I'm so pmsing...I want to steal away into my room watch tv, read gossip magazines, with hair dye on my head, face mask on my face, toe nails drying from paint and sad music playing on the radio.  I'm in one of those teen angst moods...heheheheheee.  Oh the joys of not having any responsibilities.  I want to dye my hair black again...it's already faded :( 

I love silly compliments.  I went into home depot tonight to return some items with the family.  The rockabilly chick behind the counter asked me what lipstick color did I use and that the shade really looked  good with my skin.  I whipped it out of my purse and it was just funny because in such a "manly" environment we were having a cosmetic discussion.  I told her I was a makeup whore and that her question wasn't crazy as she was afraid it was.  I love pinup makeup myself and usually that is what I lean towards in my makeup routine.  Heavy upper lid liner, porcelain skin, pink cheek and luscious lips.  I've kinda perfected the everyday pinup. Which leads me to another topic on my mind.  I was driving home the other day and a thought kept resonating in my mind...where do I belong?  I'm surrounded by middle aged yuppies where I live.  I am far from that.  I don't get my kicks from shopping at the mall or which sport my kid is in. My car label doesn't effect my self worth, and neither does the label on my shirt.  But I am also not some barefoot hippie wondering aimlessly on in life.  Then I thought about where I feel the most alive and most comfortable.  Either it is in an art museum or theater, but that is where my heart lies. I'm art nerd through and through.  I'm not one of the emo artists that trash college training and spit upon anything that in considered normal beauty.  I worked with some artist like this and to be sadly honest their "art" was junk. They ripped apart anyone with real talent and dogged them behind their back in fear of them being discovered as hacks.  In school I was once told by someone that you have to learn realism and perfect that before you can move on into abstract.  I think there are exceptions to rules but all great artists had beautiful realistic paintings or works before they moved on.  You have to own reality before you can set it free...if not, you're simply a raging train without a conductor.  You have to know what is swimming in the beauty behind your pieces and what makes your work so special...ok tangent.  Back on track...my heart resides with fellow artist.  I love theater people.  They aren't the average bible thumping yuppie, or redneck.  They appreciate art in all shapes and sizes and usually can see beauty in anything.  I like that.  I would love to start working at actors theater sometime once the kids get a little older.  That would be a dream side job.  I used to want to be an actress but I let fear and low self esteem ruin that.  But I love it there and maybe one day I'll work there doing something, helping create beauty.  Once the weather warms up I'll get off my ass and go take some pictures.  I miss doing that.  I've started to lose touch of the natural side of photography and am only doing it for profit work.  I need some more beauty in my life.

I also need some silliness.  It seems I've been super bummed lately and bitchy.  So I think a nice hot shower, funny family movie and some ice cream is in order.  I ate like a cow today with no care...I'll diet another day :P  

Mommy breadkdown...

I totally kept my cool today at the eye glass place.  I'm so proud of me...hahahahaa.  I made a huge mistake of not taking the stroller in with us.  I had to pick Spen's glasses up and honestly figured it wouldn't take a small eternity for us to get them fitted.  Oh boy, was I wrong.  It is official, Ceddy has now entered the phase of wanting to run EVERYWHERE.  No hands are allowed on this child.  I got my workout inside the store running after him.  I felt awful because the sales lady spoke to spen mostly because I was darting after Cedric.  But I survived and I really wasn't that phased by it.  I was just amazed with how fast that child is.  I had forgotten the feeling of WTH during this phase and how nothing stops them.  Things may distract them, but NOTHING stops them.  Shhheeeeeshhhhhh.  Stroller next time most def.  On a happy note spen looks very handsome in his glasses.  He likes one pair and is on the fence about the other.  The one he isn't sure of has nose pieces and he's not used to them.  But they make him look even more grown up :(  My baby is on his way to becoming a teenager.

I was reminded while reading one of the blogs I follow how precious life it.  I made a donation to her cause for DS with tears in my eyes.  I love the human spirit and I love how there are good people out there striving to make a difference.  I guess one of the major hurdles in life is to not become complacent. That's a terrible place to be. 

Ok, I have to meet a client in a couple of hours...so off to gather my supplies.

I'm freezing...

It seems once I get cold it's impossible to warm back up without a scalding hot shower.  I think it has to do with the thyroid issue I have.  Regulating my heat is not a thing I do very well.  But nonetheless, I'm freezing!!!!

So the scale hovered over 132 yesterday.  Such a mean trick.  I take this as I weigh 132.6...hahahahaa....considering how my scale measures.  I need to work out today!  I did managed to run up and down my stairs lifting weights yesterday.  But I also managed to eat Lord knows how many brownie cookies, and must I say how delish they were.  I even had one for breakfast today.  Eric laughed at me and said it's nice to see I'm eating a healthy breakfast.  But I love my cookies.  I bought them from fresh market...and they were yummy.

I need to go to target today.  I have a few items to pick up. I also have to meet with a client tonight.  So I need to print forms and get organized as well for that.

I love my hubby.  He really is the best..gag...I know.  But he's been gone all week in Indy.  As soon as he gets home he rushes to get stuff ready for the cub scout meeting that night. He looked like death coming into the house.  He had another migraine yesterday.  Poor guy.   He is under a ton of stress and I was a bitch and added to it. Looking back, I acted like an ass. I swear I hate how hard he works.  It drives me crazy how he never has time to use his flex time because he's running around like crazy for his company.  Shhheeeshhhh...his head will explode soon.  I hate it for him and I feel super awful for being a royal bitch.  He was supposed to work from home today.  Considering he had to drive up to Indy on his day off...so really he should be using flex time for today...but he was told he had to go into the office.(Also, considering the past month he went into the office numerous times on his days off)  I was upset because he was supposed to go with me to the IRS office downtown.  I wanted moral support and also it helps since he knows more about the taxes than I do..(he does them).  I threw a fit.  Looking back I shouldn't have taken my anger out on him...he couldn't help it. We ended up cuddling and he forgave me for my bitchfest. I'm just really mad that he doesn't have the time to use his flex.  Eric makes really good money, but for a reason.  He is a very hard worker. He also negotiated his salary and perks before he was hired on.  He's a trustworthy person and very loyal.  I just don't want to see him being taken advantage of.  He's too nice for that and too much of a prized employee to deserve such treatment.  But like a mob wife...I'll keep my mouth shut only curse the bastards that are doing it to him under my breath.  Karma is a bitch and I will leave it at that.

I missed Eric and the kids missed him.  He didn't skip a beat.  He woke up with Ceddy last night and got him a bottle.  Ceddy is going through some tough feeding issues right now, with his feeding problem but also his teeth.  That poor baby is cutting 4 back teeth.  His poor gums are swollen and painful looking.  But Eric dove back into parenthood.  We both slept hard last night.  I don't sleep very well while he is away, and he doesn't away from us.

They think Ceddy is tongue tied.  Oh, for the love of Pete...does it ever end?  So, that's an issue we will have to watch and decide if he needs it clipped.  His feeding therapist thinks that could be contributing to his eating issues.  Makes sense.  I'm just tired of problems.  I need a break...I want to escape.  But where?  I told Eric I wanted to climb back into bed today and just knit. I've become a 72 yr old lady...hehehehee.  Oh, well it suits me well.

I really do love my life, and I'm just bitching because I'm pmsing.  I just would like to pause everything for a weeeee little moment and breathe.  But instead, I'll take a shower, paint my face and go to the store.  Maybe some good yoga would get me out of this bitchy funk.  Oh well...off to start the day...

Bitchfest!!!

Ok, I have been nice long enough and this momma is running on no sleep...


for starters...

If I delete you from fb or any other social outlet there is a reason.  No, I did not just accidentally delete you and will have a change of heart on your many attempts to add me as a friend.  Maybe that makes me a bitch, but I really do not care about your mindless banter or your sly ways.

I'm sorry but I hate hate hate pompous east end people who are obsessed with labels and so blinded by the image they have to project to their neighbors they do a horrific job raising kids.  Really, gap socks? 

I really have no use for bad or selfish parents. Period.

I'm tired...ceddy was up all night.  I am being mrs. meanie pants.

My Eric comes home today.  I've missed him.  I love him so much.  I probably should get out of my pjs for him...hahahahaa.

Ok...off to clean and sleep.

Excited..

I'm excited because Eric informed me last night that he will most likely have to go to California for work.  Woo hoo...I want to go and I'll probably pack the kids up and travel with him.  I've never been and I have a few things on my bucket list of life I have to scratch off.  I really really really want to see the redwood forest.  I want to take my boys to stand under their great branches and be amazed by the size of their trunks. I have to see one. Although, we really won't be around them...actually in Glendale. My plan is to take the boys to every state before they turn 18.  Spen has been to a lot so far, Ceddy needs to catch up.  But California is an ideal place for a family trip and I'm over the moon excited.  Now, I just hope the trip doesn't fall through.


I have been a knitting machine...

I had a cowl that was too short :(  I should have realized a lot sooner it wouldn't work. I need to finish Spencer's scarf today.  He is excited for it.  

On a happy note I am now 133 pounds. (can't believe I just posted my actual weight)  Woo hoo....my goal is 128.  Fingers crossed I reach it soon.  I need to work out...that would help.

I had to cancel my endocrinologist appointment today and reschedule.  There were way too many traffic jams and honestly I didn't feel like rushing across town.  So I have another apt. next month.  I need to make an apt. with my gastroenterologist and possibly my dermatologist.  I hate being an old lady!!! I'm falling apart!!!  Ok...of to start the day.  Ceddy has food therapy at 12:30.  Poor little guy us cutting his back teeth and kinda has shut down on eating.

Craft party!!!

I'm super duper excited!!!  I'm going to have a chick crafting night!!!  We are going to make fascinators!!!  SQUEAL!!! Here are what they are...http://rhinestonearmadillo.typepad.com/my_weblog/2009/08/fascinators.html

I've always loved them and longed to live in Europe and wear them out and about.  Well, the plan is to make them one week at a craft get together...then the next week we all put on a party dress, kitten heels and pearls and go out to dinner in them.  The sad fact is I probably would never wear them out of the house if I didn't have a reason, and what better reason than a hat dinner with friends!  I need to collect my supplies and settle on a date.  Excited........

Long list before me...

Sitting right below my nose is a long list of to items I comprised of everything I can get done this week.  I managed to scratch off four.  I'll dive in more tonight.  I have to make list.  Literally, I make one everyday.  I have done so since probably high school.  I have a horrible memory and I have to keep focused.  If I don't I get side tracked.  But enough of that nonsense... I just want to really finish this list.

Spen loved his swim lessons.  I liked the water fitness class, even though Sarah  and I were a good 50 years younger than our classmates.  I'm going to try YET AGAIN to make it to baby hour at the library this week.  Hopefully, we can make it.  I've learned with kids you make no solid plans.  Case in point...Eric was going to watch spen, ceddy and my friends son while we took our class.  The "plan" was for him to stay during spens class and drive the kids home.  My class started after the kids.  We didn't want them by the water or hanging around by themselves.  Literally, as we were down the street of the aquatics center Cedric gagged and threw up all over himself. He's teething and cutting his back teeth.  he had just ate and was chewed a little too far with his finger. That was just one the many crazy events that happened Saturday.  I jumped in the back seat to check on him and remembered we did not bring a change of clothes with us...the diaper bag was in the other car.  So plans changed and Spen and his friend hung out at my friends moms house.  Eric had to take Cedric home and clean him up...there was no way he could have just been wiped down...he was covered.  FUN....let's see what next week brings.  I'm debating on doing deep water aerobics.  The idea kinda scares me. 

I'm cutting back on my coffee intake.  I read up on my issue and it is exacerbated by caffeine.  I was downing a lot of cups a day.  I stopped today and my side feels much better.  Duhhhhh....I knew it, but I love my coffees...sniff sniff.  I love caffeine.  I quit caffeine usage when I was pregnant with both boys.  I quit while I was breastfeeding too.  Spen was so sensitive to things, I couldn't even eat certain foods while breastfeeding because it would upset his stomach.  Caffeine is a wondrous drug...but something I can not have a lot of with my tummy issue.  I guess this means I will have to start actually sleeping...sheeshhhh....

Ok, off to get dressed and go to the grocery.  Spen needs milk and I need food too.  Funnnn....I hate food shopping. 

So much to do...

- I need to pick up my house, my book club meets at my house tonight...right now it's knee deep in toys.
- I need to call around about some swim classes for Spen and Cedric.  I found a place cheaper than the ymca!!!  Woo hoo.  7 lessons for only $42 bucks.
- My friend and I discovered water aerobics and pilates classes while researching the boys classes.  We are debating on trying them out. I did water aerobics in college and loved it.
- I need to do some yoga today.  I need some spiritual cleansing and butt tightening all at once : )
-  Eric the awesome has been working on my site.  It's kinda up and running.  I just now need to work on content.
- So far I'm kicking ass on new years resolutions. 
- note to self...next time it warms up clean my car out...it's starting to look like a homeless man squats in it every night.
- I have a long list of what to do and I really feel like climbing into bed and sleeping.  Maybe another coffee will cure that desire.
- I need to go to Target and get a calender/planner.  I usually use big ones for my office desk.  I also have it on my phone.  But sometimes it's nicer to have it in your hands.  I'm weird.  But that's how I feel about e-readers.  I love the feel of a book.  I like turning the pages.  I like the romantic notion of being able to see ones progress within a book and being glued to each page.  But hey, I'm super old school on some things.

- I need to make a FB site for my mag.  I also need to work on interviews and graphics...so much to do...tisk tisk tisk...and here I sit.  As soon as I'm off here after a few phone calls, I'll work on graphics and set up some interviews.  I'm really excited about this.  Even if no money is to be made, it will be a fun project to work on.  I love my hubby so much for supporting me and helping me with his computer skills : ) 

-Yesterday I had a movie moment.  I was dropping Spen off for school and I had a flash back.  I saw him when he was a little kindergartener.  I can remember how he'd run to the school door.  I also remember my heart jumping out of my chest as he would almost fall because he runs head first.  I can remember him giving his teacher a hug and her waving back at me.  I swear time goes by so fast.  I teared up driving off yesterday thinking my baby isn't a baby anymore and how I miss his chubby cheeked little smile.  He's now tall and thin.  Blah....

- I need to go get Spen his new glasses.  Eric and Spen both need new glasses.  I had two sets picked out and on hold for us.  The boys got tired of looking and Cedric was on the verge of a meltdown so we decided to leave and go back another day.  The problem is...we have still yet to go back.  So this weekend I'm pulling all my guys into there and making them pick out some new frames.   I'm determined for them to have new glasses.  Spen's face is too big for his, and Eric is on his back up pair since Ceddy broke his good pair.  Shheeeshhhhh...it's like herding cattle. 

Ok...call me an idiot call me dumb...but I can't seem to find the usage of coupons.  I bought a sunday paper this week, went through it and most of the coupons were for crap food.  I went to whole foods.com and fresh market and got some coupons from there.  But most coupons are for buy 2 and get the 3rd item for a measly 15 or 25 cents off.  WTH?  Really, I don't need a food bunker.  I also don't get double coupon days.  I'm trying to be thrifty and save money.  But so far it's a bust.  I do use the Target coupons I get in the mail.  But I usually forget them.  So I have started storing them in either my purse or car for easier access.  Ok...I've babbled long enough....off to start this day :  )

Kinda weird...but meh....

Ok...so I tried a new therapy tactic last night.  It's compression therapy for Cedric.  It's kinda weird, but makes total sense.  I have to take my finger and press on the roof of his mouth with pressure.  It is desensitizing him.  Kids with sensory issues often times have to get used to different feelings and pressure.  I also have been giving him different textures for him to try.  I gave him toast today.  He licked it and laughed.  He's the happiest baby so it makes things a lot easier.  He drank water and apple juice yesterday.  Yay!!!  He has also gone to one bottle of whole milk a day.  Slowly but surely he'll get on track.  So the therapist said art sparks and diaper dip would be perfect for him.  She said kids with sensory issues usually blossom with the usage of water.  So I need to call today and sign us up.  I also need to sign spen up for swim lessons.  He's a water baby himself.  That kid LOVES the water.  He just needs to perfect his strokes and build endurance.  I think my friend is going to sign her son up for the same class.  That will be fun for the boys.Cedric's therapist also gave me a really interesting book food chaining.  It has struck a chord within the first few passages.  I can relate to the stories and it's nice to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I need to go to the grocery.  How I loathe the grocery.  But I need food and fast.  I've lost a pound...woo hoo.  It's amazing what not eating mounds of chocolate will do for you.  I need to make a list of food and things I need from the store.  I also need to go to the store on a full stomach.  Lord knows how I shop and I need all the help I can get.  I want to really do this budget thing.  We have been so good and only been out to eat ONCE this year...laaaaaa..and that was on a gift card.  So I do not feel guilty.  I need to load up the refrigerator.  I cleaned out the refrigerator and pantry last night. I even managed to have us take the garbage out.  WOO HOO.  We forgot last week and were up to our eyeballs in wrapping paper.  I need to make a trip to the recycle bins by our house.  I have tons of boxes and plastic.  Eric and I are trying our best to recycle as much as we can.  We are also trying to turn off as many lights and keep the heat down.  Our LG&E bill was over $300 last month.  OMG!!!!!

Eric is working on my site.  I"m so excited!!!  It should be up and running very very soon.......

So...a two-fer

Ok...Cedric is doing really well with his feeding therapy.  He now doesn't gag or throw up with different flavors!!!  Woo hoo.  Huge accomplishment.  I hate when I over book myself.  I had to get blood work done today...run to whole foods and make it home in time for therapy.  I got home right on time, but thank goodness she was running late.  I kept praying please don't be in my drive way, please don't be in my driveway as I drove down my street and peeked at my driveway.  I hated I didn't get to "really" shop for food today.  I ran in to grab something for lunch and dinner.  I did pick up some organic whole milk for Cedric.  I swear it's kinda crazy that everyone has their own milk in this house.  Spen gets very vanilla soy ( he's lactose intolerant), Eric and I get organic skim, and Ceddy get's formula and organic whole milk.  I have to fight Eric off Cedric's whole milk.  I've been comparing prices on organic products.  Whole foods has some deals, and I do like their meats, but every where else is cheaper on their organic products.  Fresh market is even cheaper.  There are a few items I don't feel like hassling over with organic..breads for one.  I try to get high fructose corn syrup free.  I try to get antibiotic and hormone free when I can't get organic.  I'm super cheap and I go where the deals are.  It's just annoying!!!  I need to start using the coupons I collect.  This year we will not waste food or money.  So no more fast food and no more impulse buying.  It's HARD.  But I want a healthier and richer family.  Speaking of money... I need to get off my ass and start making it.  I need to update my site.  I also need to get my other site up and running.  Eric and I worked on it last night.  Soon it will be functioning.  All in due time.  I love my hubs.  He has been doing tech research for my site.  I'm a computer idiot.  I know how to use it, but implementing websites and all that jazz I'm lost.  He has to show me how then I'm able to use it.  I can't wait for tax refund time.  AKA free money.  Ok, not free technically it's ours, but it's nice to have.  This year we will be paying bills off.  So much fun....grrrrrr.  Oh well the life of an adult.  Hopefully, my car will be paid off.  That will be nice to have no car payment.  Then we work on other things to pay off.  I swear this house is sucking my bank account dry.  We need to replace two windows, two bathroom shower faucets.  Eric was able to stop two leaks...thank GOODNESS!!!!!!  Considering we shelled out $200 bucks last time to fix a leak that ended up leaking yet again.  So the hubs youtubed a how to fix a shower leak and poof it worked.  Yay!!!

I need to work out.  So not looking forward to it.  Sooooo very not.  I really want to climb back into my warm snuggly bed and watch tv or a movie.  Ok...off to pick up spen.

Wednesday...

Today I have a long list of things to do...from blood work, to food therapy with Cedric, to working out and cleaning this house.

Two current loves...

I have to use sugar or something sweet in my coffee.  So the past year I've been using truvia ( a natural sweetener with no calories or artifical flavoring) Love it!  I recently discovered this soft drinks...(I"m a coke-holic) and I LOVE these 0 calorie drinks that use truvia to sweeten them.  ZERO calories!!!  Love it!!! And no nasty cancer causing sweeteners.

Under cabinet lighting...laaaaaaaa......
I love my Eric for being so awesome...

We still need a new sink and floors...but slowly it's coming together.


I really think I'm going to sign Ceddy and myself up for diaper dippers at the YMCA.  I'm sitting here looking at the schedule and I know he would LOVE it.  I also might sign Spen up again.  I didn't like his last set of lessons.  The age group was too vast and there is a world of difference between a 3 yr old and 5 yr old.  So the whole session was spent with the instructor correcting the little ones and pulling them out of the water.  They would jump in when she would step away from the edge.  Kinda a waste of money.  Ok...off to do the thing I do...

Today...

So today every store I went to I came up short.  I went to buy yarn and could only find mediocre yarn at best.  I looked at flowers... blah.  I looked at furniture, clothes...more blah.  I guess maybe I'm growing up?  I'm becoming less of a spender and more of a saver.  If I don't absolutely love it...I let it be.  I'm tired of wasting money.  Another goal for this year...pay off debt.  My car will be payed off soon.  I'm really excited about that.  Although, yet another sign I'm growing up...who gets excited over that? Me.

Keeping up with the Jones's only leaves you in debt and a step behind.  Who cares I say.  Be yourself and march to the beat of your own drum. 

I long for sleep.  I made a super early orthodontist appointment this morning.  Ceddy decided last night that he wanted to be up at 3 and 4 am. I didn't go to bed until late...so this was all a lovely combination of events. Cedric wanted to hang out and play.  It was really funny.  He started crying once he realized we were not going to join him in his late night celebrations.  He started to "act" like he was coughing.  That little stinker knows how to play me.  Hahahahahaa.  They say kids learn early how to manipulate their parents.  I'm not a person who usually lets their kids "cry it out."  But last night I didn't roll over.  I just let him pout and pretend to be so upset he was coughing.  Which was such a forced cough Eric and I started to giggle and we both agreed he knew what he was doing.  Soon he stopped.  He figured mom and dad are asleep.  So he started play with his toys. 

I can't wait to have my braces off.  They are annoying.  Soon I start rubber bands.  Funnnnn...eyes rolling.  Oh to be transcended to a youth I never had.  I worked out yesterday.  It was nice.  I plan on doing it again tonight.  If I can find the energy.  Tomorrow I have to go to the dr. for blood work and then Cedric has his food therapy session again. 

I want to reach my goal weight...128 lbs.  My dream weight is 125 lbs...ha..  I'm only a few pounds shy of my goal weight.  I need to tone up and all that jazz.  I might do the skate training thing.  I have to see when I can fit it in.  I also want to sign Cedric and me up for diaper dippers at the YMCA.  I once photographed a class and it seemed fun.  We shall see.  Ok...off I go.

Here is to a New Year...

I have a feeling 2011 will be a great year!  I'm excited for it.
I'm also excited for garbage day. Eric and I forgot to put the trash out last week and we are knee deep in gift boxes and wrapping paper. 

Projects projects projects....we installed under cabinet lights.
I bought myself a loom and have knitted 3 scarves so far.  I'm going to start making them and selling them.
I have an idea for my steps.
My side is killing me as of lately.  Damn you mysterious illness.  The new year rings in new beginnings for my household.  Organic foods, drinks and meats.  We usually buy healthy things, but I'm really going to start digging deep and reading more labels.

Eric and I had a really good weekend.  New Years was kinda a bust.  We watched the movie Precious...I thought at some point she would have some heroic turn of events and it would get better.  Nope that movie was a soul sucking waste of time.  Spen spent the weekend with my mom...so he called me to wish us a happy new year and Eric and I didn't even realize the time. We were stuck in the abyss of that awful movie. Eric and I got to spend some quality time together this weekend.  It was nice.  We had Cedric with us, but he played and slept a lot.  We just got to reconnect and talk.  The holidays have been nuts around here, and Eric has been working crazy hours.  So having him home was nice.  I love and missed him.


I have so much to do...and here I sit.  So off to finish my cleaning and then pick Spen up.