Currently...sitting...watching...and waiting...

So....currently:

- I'm on my second cup of coffee of the morning.
- My mind is a storm of emotions circling around Boston and all the horrific events unfolding there.
- I cannot for the life of me fathom why people choose to hurt another person. I get the whole mental illness side of that coin flip...but still...to be a coward and not use words or conversation but instead simple destruction. I can't grasp it.
- I have a long list of things to do sitting beside me and honestly, I can't bring myself to start with one.
- I'm kinda glued to what is unfolding in Boston. I hate this aspect of the media.  Spiting out wrong information, making assumptions and just plain outright dirty journalism  But I do part take in this dance and watch on.  Just like any other American...I want to see justice and I want to see the completion of this heinous crime come to an end.
- Thinking about what to post and drawing a blank. How can I honestly and happily talk about all my craft projects, my vacation plans or trivial life happenings when in true actuality my mind is with Boston...glued to the tube waiting and watching for some sort of peace.

Sending my love and prayers to Boston right now!

To Tell the Truth....

I'm unforgettably a brutally honest person. I won't hurt your feeling, but I will tell you your ass looks fat in those jeans.  I'd don't beat around the bush.  One thing I cannot and will not tolerate is a liar.  I only surround myself with people I can trust and tell me the truth. Even if it hurts.  Why live in lies, when the world knows the truth is beyond me. Daily rant for the day.

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To tell the truth...here are a few truths for me today:

- I've gained weight. I hate it. I kinda denied it for the longest time and only wore yoga pants. You know the drill ladies. But, I finally admitted it and went to my doctor for help. It's my stupid thyroid or PCOS. I went to the doctor yesterday and I was given Metformin.  I'm terrified of medicine. But, I'll give it a whirl.  I'm tired of having no energy, and my hormones going insane lately.

- My house is mess. A mess as in I would not be surprised if an episode of cops were filmed here last night. Somewhere between a meth house or a frat house. I need to clean, but somehow I have no desire to : (

- My life. It's pretty awesome and chaotic right now. Honestly, when is it not?

- I plan on going back to school for graphic design. I'm terrified of this.  The actual part of sitting in a class, doing homework while trying to balance home life and kids blows my mind.  But I want, need and desire to. Now to figure out when.

- I have a long list of things I want done to this house and asap. But I also have a low energy level to make this list actually happen. Hummm...quite the conundrum.

- I have this kickass idea for a coffee table book.  Again, finding said energy for this task is something I don't have.

-  I really like inspirational quotes. Yes, I'm one of those kooks who enjoys a positive affirmation in the morning.

Ok, off to fix lunch, clean a house that is ruled by boys and possibly throw a quick shopping trip into my day.  Wishing everyone an honest and wonderful day! 

I've lost the love...

For blogging. I work daily on 5-8 clients facebook accounts and pinterest accounts. Forming words and putting them onto a computer doesn't seem very exciting to me anymore. I have started so many blog entries only to never finish them.  They are sitting in the abyss of unfinished projects.  Since, I've been MIA for a second let me update on useless information...

- Spen started and finished his comic book art classes. He liked them...but now he's leaning toward skateboard lessons.***Slaps forehead*** I thought I could prolong this phase for a bit longer. I'm not looking forward to ER trips with broken bones :(  Boys and their need to be cool...psshhhh.

- Cedric will soon start wee-soccer. Excited about this adventure. I was Spencer's coach for his team, and I thought about doing this for Cedric. But different boys and different needs. Ceddy is way more active, and I highly suspect I will have to dedicate a lot of attention on keeping him merely on the field. He marches to the beat of his own drum ; )

- The hubs and I....Things are good. Eric is hard at work for the Retro Gaming Expo this weekend and I've been doing a lot of graphic design work for my job lately.  I'm leaning towards going back to school for this.  I talked with a friend who is a graphic designer and he said I'm not charging enough for my work. This I know, but I have no degree which kinda voids a lot of the pay factoring. The hubs supports me in going back. Now it just becomes a question of when.

We have been busy just living life and enjoying the boys lately.  I can't wait for warmer weather!!! I need sunshine and a bike ride!!!

After this week I am super excited to start a new house project!!! My new kitchen floors!!!  I have to go order the supplies this week.  I can't wait!!!

I did fill the ugly void wall with pretty mirrors from Target in my dining room. Once that room is complete I will update with photos.  Until then, here is a teaser:

http://instagram.com/p/WFnJpFzUhb/

I also have an art project I'm throwing around in my old brain for spring.  Perhaps, a coffee table book...hummmm....

Ok, sending everyone a hug and a wish for a wonderful week ahead. Off to make coffee.  Orange juice doesn't cut it for me ; )

Promises for 2013

  Life is all about what you make of it.  Sometimes, you have to put on your big girl panties and realize you will never have the things you long for.  Life is about accepting things and moving on.  This past week I reached out and tried to better a relationship with my mother only to have it backfire.  I have come to the realization that I will never have the idea relationship with her. A relationship that consists of normal mother daughters situations. She is who she is, and I am who I am.  We have different parenting views and styles.  She is obviously not comfortable with my views, and I am not going to edit or change them.  I am who I am, and I parent how I parent.  I have unconditional love for my children and can only strive to have a better relationship with my kids than I have with my own parents.  Sometimes as adult you are given a wake up call and you realize you can't change people, you can only change how you deal with them.  So no longer will I try to be closer, I will only put that energy back into my family.  So with welcoming 2013 I am no longer going to long for what I do no have but rather nurture what I do have. I have two beautiful children.  We will start our own family traditions : )

This year I promise the following:

- To get outside more! I love hiking and this is something I need more in my life!

- To start new adventures! 

- To take more photos!!!  I've not been snapping as much and this is only due to my laziness.

- To not live with guilt!  I can not control how others feel, those are their feelings.  I am no longer going to be controlled or made to feel less than due to others thoughts.

- Work out!!!  This sister needs to hit the gym!!!

- Get my house in shape!  I'm tired of closets bursting at their seams and projects not completed!

- Go after whatever dreams I am too nervous to pursue.  You get one life, and there is no time to sit on the sidelines.

- Love my boys and introduce them to more life experiences!

- Travel!!!

- Volunteer. I have an idea where I would like to, but it's just a matter of making time.

- Blocking out negativity.  Only thinking positive thoughts and surrounding myself with positive people. 

2013 will be a good year!  The newness of the year brings with it excitement of possibilities, memories to be made, and the magical feeling of not knowing what is to come.  A new journey to be had!  Wishing everyone a fabulous year!!! 

Poor poor little blog

I have neglected you.  I have been insanely busy last month. I had parties, a festival, a camping trip, wedding and health scare to deal with.  But I am back!  Happy, healthy and feeling wonderful!

Current random thoughts:

I have started doing a daily top 10 list of blessings.  I'm trying to purge myself of negativity.  This includes, thoughts, actions and PEOPLE ; P

I firmly believe we are our words and thoughts.  I'm so over negative people and thoughts. I admit I have been a Debbie Downer lately, and something has got to give!  So with that said...I choose to see the glass half full and move on.

The election...woah Momma. I was nervous there for a second, but my nerves were soon calmed.  I have voted in every election I have been legally able to.  I made my husband drive home early from our mini vacation so I could cast my vote.

Our mini vacay:  JUST WHAT WE NEEDED!!!  Last month Eric, my husband, had a health scare.  They were afraid he had thyroid cancer.  Honestly, all signs were pointing to it.  Thankfully, his biopsy came back benign!  BUT I got really sick due to stress.  So sick I ended up having to call off my son's birthday party. You know sh*t done got real when I call off a party...ha!  I was miserable. When I get stressed, I get sick.  I ended up going to see the doctor and she gave my a shot along with antibiotics.  I'm feeling much better and VERY well rested!  We took an impromptu trip to the Gatlinburg.  It's funny, because my husband and I always call it the old folks capital. We decided why not join the old folks and rent a cabin.  I'm so glad we did!  I LOVED the cabin.  It was in the woods and surrounded by trees.  I LOVED IT!!!  The kids had a blast running around.  It was three levels and had tons of space.  I felt kinda guilty not using all the beds, so next time we will be taking friends with us!  I so wish I could have Christmas up there, but I'd be afraid of being snowed in.  That will go on my bucket list!

Halloween was fun!  I love the fact my husband spoils my boys.  He worked hard on Spen's costume.  He was determined to have the LED's working! I also love how he is not afraid to make an ass of himself!  He proved this with agreeing to be Redfoo.  Here are some shots from Halloween.

 Every Day I'm Shuffling!  Have a great week guys!!! I promise more updates this month!

Kinda Numb...

So Eric got his test results back from his thyroid scan.  Not good.  He has a nodule that is questionable.  I had a bad feeling about his test.  My heart sank today when he called and told me the news.  He set up an appointment to go talk with his doctor.  So my mom came and sat with Cedric and I met him there.  With his blood work, thyroid being so swollen, and the way the nodule looks the doctor wants a biopsy.  Honestly my mind is going to cancer. I keep having crying fits during the day when no one is around.  I love my husband so very much.  He is my best friend.  I keep thinking why him. He's the good guy.  He's the husband that rushes home to his kids and wife.  He is selfless and loving.  I just hope and pray everything turns out ok and his biopsy is benign.  They should call tomorrow with the date it's scheduled.  I feel like such a horrible wife.  Eric was worried about me!?!?  I need to be strong.  I need to pull myself together.  I'll do that tomorrow ; )  Today, I'll sit with a pity party tucked away in my office crying away from the boys.  I just hope and pray everything is ok!!! Please keep my hubby in your prayers!

My Life As of Lately...

This weeks mantra! 

I have been insanely busy.  From work, to kids, to just life.

Right now my nerves are pretty shot.  My husband is having some health issues and I'm kinda going a little insane with worry.  He is my best friend, my partner and the love of my life.  I just hope and pray everything is ok. I could not imagine a life without him.  We are attached at the hip and I adore him even if we argue like an old married couple....ha! We will find out more by next week.  This month we will be celebrating our 6 year anniversary.  I love him so much and he is such an important part of my life.  He is the sweetest guy who always puts others and his family before himself.  I will update more once we know exactly what is going on. Please keep my hubby in your prayers and thoughts.

Last weekend was the cub scout camp-out.  We had a blast.  Even if I did not want to exit my tent in the morning to frigid temps. Ha...Eric basically had to drag me out.  I freeze too easily and once I get cold it takes a small eternity for me to warm up.

Halloween...I'm sure my neighbors know something is up with my family.  We do not have our  usual plethora of decorations up yet.  This is unheard of.  We are the Pullen's aka Clark Griswold of decorations. We have just had so many things going on to drag everything down from the attic.  But THIS shall be done tonight!!!

Halloween parties...I have been working on ideas for three.  Sheeeshhhhh along with the family fun night.  I have over extended myself this month.

Work has been insanely busy too.  This is my busiest month.  I feel bad at times because I could really grow my business if I wanted to.  I know how, I have the skills and resources to do so...I just am enjoying being a mom and wife right now.  This will come later.  I had this aha moment last month.  I really like being a mom and wife.  I am not saying you can't be both with working, but for me I like the freelance lifestyle of picking and choosing when I work.  I like that I can attend my son's class party.  I like that I can snuggle with my youngest during the day or go on an impromptu picnic. I had wanted to go back to school and start a new career, but that is just too much to do at this point in time.  I also realized there is no hurry to be successful.  Life is a journey with different stops along the way.  I know I am blessed to have the ability to have the work schedule I have.  I have been a single mother working full-time and I know the riggers of that  life.  It seems as women and mothers we sometimes put so much stress on ourselves with the idea we must do it all. I'm not swallowing that pill anymore.  I enjoy the lackadaisical lifestyle I have and who knows what next month, year or years shall bring.  But at this moment, I will continue on with the pace I am going and not wear myself out on a rat race. Finding your bliss is very important and having the ability to realize it and hold it in your grasp is an amazing thing few ever obtain.  I'm living my bliss right now : ) 

Saturday one of my best friends is getting married and I am her maid of honor.  I wrote my speech and now I need to remember it ha!  They are a wonderful pair and I'm so happy for them!!! Now to find me some shoes to wear and jewelry to go with my dress.  I ALWAYS wait until the last minute.  Shheessshhhh....

Ok..off to clean.  Wishing all my followers a great week.  Remember to hug your love ones and follow your bliss, even if it is off the beaten path!!!

Dad Love...

It was super sweet this morning.  While checking over my oldest sons homework my heart melted.  Just had to share!!!

Being Responsible and all that jazz...

OK, admit it...everyone groans when you have to do the "right" thing as an adult.  When sleeping in is not an option and blowing your paycheck on new makeup and clothing doesn't even enter the realm of reality anymore. Today my husband called to let me know he got a bonus, besides the fact taxes got to it before I could we both made the boring ADULT decision to put it into savings. Blah blah blah....oh joy.  I think of all the things I could spend that money on...and in our savings account just doesn't seem very fun.  

Below is a random list of things I miss about being a non-productive adult...aka...still living at home care-free and all that jazz...

•  Sleeping in. I miss this so much.  I am NOT a morning person.
•  Staying up all night and watching the night turn into the morning. 
•  Blowing your paycheck on clothing, new hair, nails, or any other girly thing my mood fancied at the time.
•  Sleep...good solid slumber.  Not having difficulty falling asleep worrying if your kids have kicked their covers off.
•  Bills...oh how as a young adult I was dumb and thought it was funny to ignore them.  This proved to be a rather dumb move on my part. But I do miss the innocence of not realizing just how important your credit rating really is. The hubs and I have nearly perfect credit now and that took some hard work on our part.
•  Eating anything and not worrying.  No fears of cancer, pesticides, or hell even gaining weight.  I used to be the size of a stick.  Now if I simply look at food my ass has jumped two sizes. 
• Cleaning.  Ha...wondering why people wasted their time with that.
• My biggest miss is the lack of fear. As a young carefree adult you don't understand the gravity of a mother's fear.  Fear truly does not enter into your life until you are a parent.  Then fears you never even knew were possible creep in.  They can be rational, or the biggest irrational fears but they are real to you.  I laugh looking back at some of the dumb fears I had as a new parent.  Then I cringe at some of the ones I had to face that were real ones.  But I do miss complete and total ignorance to things of the heart sometimes. This Mommy job can be hard on your worry meter. Hence, why my second child has given me gray hairs.  OK...off to start my day. I have a 3 years old birthday party to plan and errands to run.  Also, a lovely dirty house begging for my attention. Have a great Friday guys!!!

Life Abundance...

Have you ever woke with such gratitude for your life?  Your inner sinew sings to the heavens and your soul weeps for yet another beautiful filled day of life.  I had that today.  This morning was different.  It wasn't the usual morning simply filled with going through the motions; but the type of day you glance over at your spouse make eye contact and know you both know how lucky you two are. Today is my love of life abundance day!  I have two wonderful beautiful children.  One full of such wisdom and strength way beyond his years.  Ever since he was a toddler I could tell he had a mission in life.  He was the sweetest baby, the calm child, the love bug.  My koala bear baby with an old soul.  He will roll with the punches life would throw his way with grace and humility. He is growing up to be a wonderful young man.  Then my second child.  My thrill seeker, my explorer. He is the one that breathes fire into your life with every discovery and every challenge he overcomes.  He is my wondering spirit.  Like the yin and yang these two souls have blessed my life way beyond any words could imagine.  Then there is my other half.  The one who calms my nerves, who pushes me for my dreams, and the one who keeps me on task within my journey in life.  One glance and the squeeze of my hand and I know everything will be ok.  Life will be ok.  My love for my husband is abundant.  Through every life challenge and obstacle we laugh, cry or simply set our sails to a different wind to move forward around the negative.  We are a team in this adventure called life.  Hand in hand walking towards our daily sunsets.  I feel so blessed to have my three wonderful men in my life. 

This post was originally written on Sunday, but being as lazy as I am, I'm just now uploading it.

Here are some phone pics from this weekend.

Nothing like an UNO game on the trampoline. 

Ok, had no idea Cedric knew so many of his colors and numbers.

Crazy Mom shot.

Wishing everyone a great week!  Off to sleep I go....

BLOG OVERHAUL!!!

Coming soon a blog overhaul.  I need to fix somethings and update my gadgets. Now to find the time to make this happen...