Because I am a craft whore...

Here is what I did over the weekend...
Took a boring table I was going to donate but decided to recycle instead and made a cute toddler table for Cedric's reading nook.  I still have to install the book rail.  That shall happen soon!

I sanded and painted the table white...traced circles on it and painted them with the left over wall paint.

 Used tracing paper and wrote Ceddy's Name in a jumble.

 Clear coated it and cut the legs down to his height.  I also painted striped on the legs.  Very cute and cheap if I  say so myself. : )  I love reusing stuff.





Below is the new light fixture the hubs installed.  I'm so proud of him.  There was no light fixture at all in Cedric's room.  Just a lamp, and that is super unsafe for a baby.  So Eric drilled out the hole.  Put a ceiling fixture mount holder upper (the name escapes me right now) and climbed up into the attic and ran the wiring.  I LOVE IT!!!

Tis that time of year...

I have been on a craft, baking, art project roll.  The kids and I made dough ornaments today.  They are currently baking away in the oven as I type.  Hopefully, they turn out.  I made the grandparents little Ceddy hand print ornaments.  Spencer's hand is too big to do the same.  So he made little snowmen for everyone.  He also pressed an army man outline ornament too.  We had fun...hopefully..like I said they turn out.

The cookie exchange was a blast.  This will become an family annual event.  I love all my friends to death!  It was nice sitting around doing crafts with the ladies and kids.  Too bad the kids really weren't into the crafts  they made their ornaments but took off before they we started the stockings.  So us adults worked on them.  We all had fun sitting around decorating with glitter.  I love Christmas.  This year they are calling for a white Christmas.  I'm excited...I love this season.

I've been working on my website and I'm about to launch it..stay tuned...

New year's resolutions!!!

drum roll please...

-read less sad news via the internet
-be more of a positive person
-stop wasting my time with negative people
-workout more
-hike more
-travel more
-be more understanding with Eric...his work drives me crazy, but that's not his fault
-love more
-get my shit together with my businesses
-learn to knit or buy a loom...whichever comes first
-show people how much they mean to me
-stop being so sensitive
-stop taking on the worlds problems as my own...I'm only one lady with my own world problems to deal with
-create more!!!
-finish my basement
-read more books
-and just be me and nothing more.

Hard at work...geezzzzzzz

Mother Nature delivered my city with a lovely coat of snow and ice today so the kids are off of school.  This simply pushed me into the Christmas spirit and let me finish my "pretty tree" finally.  I've been putting it off because I didn't feel like dealing with the balancing act of ribbon for the tree.  But nonetheless.  It's done and looks rather pretty if I say so myself.

The kitchen is about done...minus under cabinet lighting, new floors, accessories and a new sink.  My hubby and I did this all ourselves and worked for what seemed like a small eternity, but finally it is done :) Pics below...

The first two are before pics...

 I'm not done with my art work to fill my frames...I'll take a pic of them when I'm done.

Kinda don't know what to think...

I'm happy on one hand Ceddy qualified for First Steps, but then on the other kinda bummed he needs it at all.  Kinda seems like nothing is simple in this world.  I'm having a mini pity party for myself today.  I am just not looking forward to starting this endeavor and finding a good food therapist for Cedric.  The woman who did his evaluation told me it's difficult to find a good food therapist for an infant.  Cedric has a severe food aversion with taste and texture aversions as well.  I kinda feel relieved to a certain extent.  I'm tired of people offering helpful advice to me on how I should just "work" with him more or offer him different foods.  I don't want to scar him.  He has food anxiety.  I know...kinda weird considering he's 13 months old.  But he was born with severe acid reflux which resulted in him developing his food issues.  He chokes or gags on anything he's uncomfortable with.  So long story short no matter how long you know something and you tell yourself something that is obvious, hearing it from a perfect stranger is disheartening.  It was one thing when I looked at it as a weird little quirk, but to be labeled, defined and called a disorder...that kind terrifies me.  The lady used that word...disorder.  Wow...it stung me.  I never looked at it like that.  I never thought of it as an aspect that could follow him as he got older.  She told me these kids usually are fine with no future issues.  My momma ears perked up and thought, but it could?  I never thought of it like that.  I see my smiling baby and his laughing little body with bright eyes giggling and never have I thought of it as a negative attribute about him.  I'm weird...I've had my head in the sand, but I just honestly thought that was his little shtick.  Part of his charm and character.  I knew it was bad, and I knew he needed help...but I never let it register its severity until today.   I  kinda feel like crying.  I know there are way worse things to be upset over and he'll out grow this.  But a mother never wants to hear something is wrong with their child.  Ok...off to eat something chocolate and have a good cry then move forward. Below is a little video of Ceddy watching Spen and Eric ice skate yesterday.

I should be asleep....

I should be asleep, but my mind is full of ideas.  My brain is in creative mode and sleep is something it does not desire, but oh how my body does.  I have to go ice skating today...hopefully, I will have the energy.  Sheesh.  An opening bio popped in to my head while laying in bed for my site after a diaper change. Ceddy had settled down and my mind was racing of these creative endeavors. I had to write it down or it would be merely a memory of me having a great bio but not for the life of me remembering a damn word of it.  I feel like coffee right now.  But I can't...I need sleep.

 We haphazardly put up the Christmas stuff this year.  I'm in the mood for Christmas, just not decorating.  The kitchen has wiped me out. I'm also entering the phase of my life that most of my Christmas stuff needs to be replaced.  Either is was hand me downs or bought years ago.  The sparkles have fell off a lot of items and many are badly shaped.  Tis the Christmas season with unfluffed trees.  I gave Eric the fluffer job,  he sucked.  That term makes me giggle...I'm a nerd. I need to decorate my family room tree.  Eric and Spen put a tree up in the dining room in the front window.  It was funny Spen asked Eric when was there enough lights on the tree, Eric replied with,"When it looks like it's on fire".  It's our "family tree", aka the ugly one full of junk.  Of course Eric and Spen had to take it to the extreme.  It has a lot of lights flashing and ornaments that are broken adorning it.  I hope no one has a seizure looking at it. 

Ok...I think I feel slumber revisiting me...nighty night...or shall I say early good morning?

NEW CHAIRS!!!

Yay!!! I'm so stoked for my new chairs : )  I LOVEEEEEE them : )

 

Laaaaaaaa.....

Happy Happy Joy Joy...

My new chairs are being delivered today.  My kitchen looks horrid and is a mess, but this shall not deter me from ripping the boxes open and putting them together : )  I love new furniture!!!

Just had to use my mommy ninja skills to cover Ceddy up.  I had to remove all of his "noise" making toys out of his play pen while he's sleeping because he tosses and turns and sometimes hits them while asleep.  He gave me a big smile when I put his blanket over him.  I love baby smiles while they're asleep : )  Melts my heart.

Holy cow, I need to work out..enough said on that subject.

Dear Mr. Redneck neighbor please move!  I swear I want to write that to my next door neighbor.  He's such a douche.  Not only has he put his mailbox in my yard, refused to move it, but now he is leaving his delivered phone book sitting in my yard beside his mailbox.  It's wet and nasty. It is taking every ounce of strength for me not to throw it in his yard.  GRRRRRRRR!!!  I hate rude people!

I have been on a search for fabric all morning for a friend.  She deserves the best.  I came up with a close match to what she wants, but we shall see.

I hate reading the news...it's full of nothing but sadness.  I need to stop this bad habit.  It just brings me down.

I am determined to get my office cleaned and organized.  I hate it.  It's annoying and I really cannot get any work done in here.  Geesshhhhh...my house is a mess.  My kitchen is almost done.  I have a few art projects in there after the grouting is done.  I'm going to make a chalkboard out of a piece of metal to be hung on the back of the kitchen island.  It can be used for magnets when ceddy is older and he can use the chalk board now.  It will be right at eye level and something fun and whimsical for the kids.  I'm sure Spen will love it too.  Eric thought it was a great idea.  It just popped in my head last night while waiting for tiles to be cut.  Eric thought we should use a dry erase board at first, but I had to remind him chalk only really writes on a chalkboard as markers can write on our white cabinets.  I need to get some more accessories for the room...but it's coming closer to being finished.  New floors for the house will come this spring.  I wish we had an IKEA here.  I need baskets and kitchen hardware.  Oh, well...maybe target and lowes will be my saving grace.

I have been mothering two sick kids.  Both kids have the stomach bug that is going around.  Spen has been sick since Thanksgiving with it.  We had to cancel all of our Thanksgiving plans and throw together an impromptu thanksgiving meal at home.  We usually go to both sides of our family. I ran out to the store and was able to put together a pretty yummy feast.  It was kinda nice just hanging out at home just our little family.  Eric and I baked and hung around the house in our PJ's.  It was kinda nice not having to run around town.  We looked through the ads and watched movies all day.  Later my mom stopped by with some left overs from her house.  It was a really nice unexpected thanksgiving this year.  Eric ended up running out the next day for Spen's big ticket item.  We were going to go shopping together on black friday, but with two sick kids we took turns running out to the stores.  Spen went to school today he's feeling better.  Poor Ceddy is still sick.  I hate when my kids are sick.  I'm waiting patiently for Eric and my turn.  My bets are that Eric will get sick first then me last.  That's how the usual turn of events always plays out.  Mom is sick last.  Although, I am one stomach flu away from my goal weight...ha!  So maybe a blessing in disguise?  Hehehheehahhahaa.  Ok...off to be lazy I go.

Shhessshhhh...

I'm so tired.  Eric and I have been installing counter tops and a back splash all day.  Two trips to Lowes and a third tomorrow...we ran out of tile.   It looks awesome : )  Pics will follow once we are done.  I need to go look at TJMAX for some accessories.  We ordered our chairs, on sale, free shipping!!!  I got my white frames for SUPER cheap!!!  They are empty but hanging on my wall nonetheless.  I love my hubby to death.  He is a picture hanging engineer.  I am an eyeballer.  I end up with umpteen holes in the wall, but he is precise and even breaks out all his tools to ensure perfection.  He hung 9 frames in a box pattern on the wall and matched them perfectly.  My hat is taken off to him!  My hands are so dry from the tile work.  It's going along pretty smoothly.  Fingers crossed we finish tomorrow.  Dear, Jesus let us finish.  I want my house back.  My house is a wreck due to the kitchen not being able to be used.  I also want my xmas stuff up.  I have so many things I need to do.  I need to take the kids xmas pictures and actually print them out.  I also need to print off some canvas pics and try wrapping them.  I ordered some for a client and I want to try to make myself some. I need to design my pictures for my frames in my kitchen...I'm over the moon excited about my ideas for them.

Ok,   I'm tired...good night!

Tummy pains...

My stomach has decided to hurt again...no fun.  More meds!!! 

On a brighter note, I made loads of progress today. My table is finished with painting, now onto the poly final coat!!!  Woo hoo!!!  I also made my typewriter art.  I loved how it turned out...I need to build a frame for it. Then hang it.  I'm watching two cheese crates on ebay for an art project.  Fingers crossed I win : ) 


I need to clean my house.  I have the lady with first steps coming Wednesday for me to fill out paperwork.  I have a long list of things to do.  As usual.  Short update.  I'll post pics later of the progress being made : ) Sweet slumber please fall upon me...because my body is tired, but my mind is running ramped. Calm down mind and let me sleep...off to toss and turn I go.

Soooo...sleepy....

Progress has been made today!!!

We now have a butcher block island...outlets replaced with new covers, kitchen table primed, and I started on my art project!!!  Holy moley we are on a roll.  God is good!!!  I love my hubby.  We both feel like crap today but we forged through.  Poor Eric even had to go into the office for a bit.  We still have a lot more to do.  But tomorrow I finish my art project and then I paint the table black.

Good night : )

So many projects!!!

My head is swirling.  I'm deliriously happy at the moment with thoughts of crafts, painting and sewing.

Currents thoughts....

I need these if any one knows where I can purchase these frames I will send a huge hug out to you...

I'm putting those on my kitchen wall and I plan on making family silhouettes to put in them.  I scratched the black scrollish IKEA frame.  With the damask curtains it would look too whore-house-ish for my taste. 

I also have few projects to do... Make this artwork.  I found an AWESOME tutorial online showing how to do this...and it will look fabulous in my kitchen.  Eric is off buying the wood now.  Squeal!!!

Ceddy's book rail needs to be installed.  I bought the rails for it... I found this awesome idea online as well.

 

I want to make these pillows...I need to figure out how...any tips will be appreciated immensely. 

I also want to make these pillows as well, but am coming up short finding the fabric.

I also have a project after xmas...I found it online.  It's making a bed frame bench.  I want to make it for my hallway up stairs.  I'm excited. I have so much to do...so little time...geeshhhhhhh....

New hair..new countertops...

Went to IKEA last night and picked up our new countertops, ceddys book rail and light fixture. I'm debating on putting up my xmas lights outside today.  The weather will be warmer and I hate doing it in the cold.  Eric and I usually start off strong but then we begin throwing lights up because we are really cold.  I need to buy some more net lights for my bushes.

I'm excited to get started on my kitchen.  Eric and Spen went to see Harry Potter so we won't start the remodel until they get home.

I dyed my hair black.  It's a pretty black.  Eric is love with it.  He loves me with dark hair.  He's funny that way.  Spen asked me why I wanted to be goth. Ha!  Kids are funny.  My ode to Dita. I love a dark head with blue eyes and a red lip.Ok, off to nap I go.
New hair do below.

Smaller than an elephant bigger than a bread box...some where in between is me...

I'm in between on weight right now.  I'm 6 pounds away from my goal weight.  I took a little vacation and enjoyed too much cheese and chocolate over Halloween.  But now I'm back on track with a goal in mind.  Damn you thanksgiving and xmas.  My "goal" may have to take a back seat again.  Nothing gets between me and my chocolates and cheeses.

I'm in a weird productive mood.  Only one catch...I keep screwing up everything I go to fix.  Case in point.  Last night, the spot on my ceiling bedroom has been bothering me since I took down the ceiling fan and patched it.  I needed to sand it and then paint it.  No biggie.  I gathered my supplies.  Started sanding only to discover my handle sand paper holdy thing was empty and no true sanding was being done...so I had to go search the house for the paper.  Then I painted.  I was so happy with myself and full of energy I thought I'd "touch up" in the hallway where the old home owners had touched the ceiling with another colour. (side note...I hate painting ceilings and usually try not to)....well, I touched up all the places.  Starred and the ceiling and reassured myself that the different colour would fade...and it was only like that because it was indeed wet.  Ummmmm...no.  So now my ceiling has white spots which are wayyyyyyy more noticeable than the other ones.  Then I went to fix the front door weather stripping.  I thought it was kinda hard to take it out.  Ummm...yeah...it was part of the door stripping I was trying to remove.  DUH!  So Eric was able to tuck it back in.  I even painted my doorbell cover in the hallway.  Eric laughs at me when I get into moods like this.  I start fixing those annoying things you stare at daily and make mental notes to fix one day. 

Out of the mouth of babes....Ok...so Spen is having the hardest time making his Christmas list.  He says he doesn't know what he wants.  He's seven..he should want half the toy store.  So I asked him yet again last night.  He says mom, I don't know what's out.  We don't have cable and that's how things are advertised...on TV.  I thought about it, and he was right.  Eric and I canceled cable.  We watch internet TV, and netflix.  But there are really no toy commercials on that.  He's a really good kid, and deserves a good xmas. So I have an idea of what to get him and am excited over it!!!  I love xmas morning!!!

I don't get people, nor understand them.  I have a sneaky suspicion certain people on my FB are only there to snoop.  If I try to be your friend, I am being genuine, I don't partake in high school drama.  I am going to purge a lot of people on my FB friends.  I use Fb to keep in touch with family and friends I don't get to speak with very often.  So with that being said...off to start my to do list...I have a lot of things waiting to be scratched off.

Fashion

Ok, the hubs gave me a really nice compliment last night.  It's funny when guys say something they have no idea how much you truly appreciate.  I received my new boots at around 8pm...Geeshhhh...Mr. UPS man was late due to the rain.  But nonetheless I hurried and opened them like a child on Christmas morning!!!  I ran into the closet and did what every chick does when she gets new shoes...thought which outfit to wear them with first.  I grabbed some leggings a tunic and hurried and dressed.  I was looking at myself in my mirror closet when the hubs walks in and laughs at me.  He was like what are you doing?  Last time he saw me (less than 5 minutes ago) I was in sweats and a tank top, but standing in front of him I wearing a rocking outfit.  He studied me while I was looking at my feet in the mirror and simply said I like the way you dress.  I know how simple, how silly of me to actually be affected by these words.  But I told him thanks.  I asked him why?  He said he just liked my style.  I told him I try not to dress like a "mom" (but I still have the days I do) and I also try not to dress like I'm going out to a club.  I dress more like a emo kid that grew up and got a job as a librarian but sneaks off to read all the fashion magazines when no one is looking. AKA, Margot Helen Tenenbaum. I like that he likes how I dress.  It was a nice compliment that came out of nowhere.  This reminds me of all the many many many phases I have gone through.  Gwen Stefani, The Craft/goth, art, rockabilly, prep, Nancy Spungen. and the many more.  I'll never forget my sisters graduation.  My mom had gone out and purchased a nice skirt and dress top for me to wear.  I paired it with my combat boots.  Ummm....this didn't go over so well.  Then there was my dress like a coked up prostitute phase.  I was not allowed out of the house with that one.  I can't wait to see what my boys go through.  Spen loves suspenders right now.  Clothes are fun!  I'm weird, but I love funky scarfs, hats and socks.  Ok.. xmas shopping I go!

Jessica's "Daily Affirmation"

I love it!!!

Hippy Heart....swoon....

Ok, my psychoanalysis personality is stepping in and I'm trying to raise my son's self esteem along with injecting joy and happiness into my families life.  My two guys, hubby and son laughed when they woke this morning to positive affirmations printed on a sticky note attached to the bathroom mirrors.  We are our thoughts, and we believe what we say.  I constantly here my son say he's dumb, or he "can't" do something...eeekkkk.  I hate that.  So I thought I would try to change that by having him read while starring at himself in the mirror positive affirmations every morning.  It was simple sentences, like I am smart, I am loved. My hubby and mine are more like I am calm and I welcome joy.  We get so caught up with life, business, bills...we just need a few moments in the morning to smile and realize how truly awesome life it.  Ok...I'm a nerd.  If anything I'm sure my guys laughed at me while reading them and at least that caused a smile and smiling is proven to release happy endorphins.  So I'm getting a happy response even if it's only by default. 


My arm is sooooorrrreeeeeeee.  I had to kick three kids ass's in air hockey yesterday.  Spen's friends spent the night and I'll be damned if I go easy on them.  So I had to show them that moms can kick ass too.   Cobra Kai do or die bitches!!!  I also introduced them to Beakmans world.  The responses were mixed on the show.

I just spoke with the resource center director for my son's school and she was happy I wanted to help out with the toy collection.  I really hope I'm not getting in over my head....tee hee... We shall see.  I have a tendency to do this.  I have two parties this month, Christmas itself and a book club meeting to host.  Hummmmm....not to mention I'm installing a back splash and counter tops this weekend.  Hummmmm......the story of my life...busy busy busy.

Ok...off to get ready for the day. 

I have nothing to hide...I am me and nothing more....

I don't edit myself, nor do I hide my inner silliness.  Life is meant for random outburst of off pitch song and dance.  Causing a smile and warming a heart is worth all the silliness and openness I express.  I'm not afraid to play the fool for entertainments sake...I love making people laugh.  It's funny because my mom couldn't believe I posted my orthodontist picture on my FB page.  Ummmm....she knows me, and knows I'm an open book.  I think it's funny and I love to shock people.  It's funny so I had to share.  Life is about those funny silly moments and esp those moments you wish you had snapped a picture to cement that image in time.  So with that all being said....I gladly play the court jester or juggling fool to entertain....life is too serious enough...bring on the parade....

I'm debating on taking on another job.  I called the guy today and am waiting to hear back from him. We spoke briefly over email.  He liked my work.  It's not my usual pay, only $15 an hour, but it's easy steady work.  This rug place is hiring and needs someone to photograph their selection.  They have 10,000 rugs to photograph.  So this could be a gig for awhile.  Not sure how long that would take, I'm sure their is some mathematical equation I could plug in here and pop out a projected time frame, but unfortunately my math skills fall short and if there isn't an app on my phone for it....I simply leave it at that. Ha!  This deal all rests on if I can make my own hours and my hours are after Eric gets off from work.  So we shall see.

I worked out twice yesterday...go me go me...happy dance inserted here.  Sadly, I watched hoarders and glee while working out.  Glee was good for the treadmill, but hoarders kept making me slow down trying to here what the people were saying.  I swear I love those type of shows.  I'm not allowed to watch intervention anymore, makes me cry too much.

I have a HUGE bleeding heart, it  can be annoying at times.  But I have a plan.  I want to work on collecting xmas gifts at my sons elementary school this year.  I know there are a few families that are struggling.  I want to collect wish lists from the kids and then have local churches and my son's cub scout/boy scout group buy the toys for the kids.  I think every child deserves a magical childhood.  That's why I always go over board for parties at my sons school.  You never know what the home life is like for these kids.  With the economy how it is and how hard up families are these poor kids may not have that much sparkle in their lives.  I went over board for their Halloween party.  But they LOVED it!  I talked with my friend about this and she shared that in her sons class there was a boy who's family was living in a shelter.  You would never think that where we live and where the school is located you would have a child living in a shelter.  That is my whole thought process, you NEVER know.  The little boy was so excited over their class party.  It broke my heart to hear her tell me how excited he was and how thankful he was.  It takes just one moment for an adult to make a difference in a child's life.  Yes, the real world sucks, and yes it's a mean cold world, but there is no reason a child struggling through the harsh realities of this world does not get to experience a little happiness and warmth for a moment in their childhood.   So with all that being said I have to meet with the PTA president and see what I have to do to make this plan happen.

Ok....off to work out I go.  The baby is down for a nap.  8 more pounds and I will be at my goal weight!!!

Ouchie....

My mouth hurts...I got my bottom braces put on.  I decided to go with red and green bands for xmas.  My next appointment is 6 weeks away...so I say enjoy the holidays with style...hahahaha...tacky style at best!

 

I feel like Trent Reznor  in the closer video...insert techno goth music here.

Current thoughts::::

I saw a crazy man today...a truly crazy man.  I was at Marshall's and this guy comes in talking to himself and yelling.  You could cut the psychoness in the air with a knife.  I pushed Cedric closer to the check out counter and tried my best not to make eye contact.  He was really angry with the voices in his head apparently because he kept getting more and more agitated and yelling louder.  I was super happy when he left...it was not a fun situation.

The other day was a pretty crazy day.  I decided to walk up to school with Cedric and pick spen up.  Well, on the way there a bird decides to poop on Ceddy's head (I had just given him a bath), then I somehow managed to lose Cedric's bottle on the way home and a check that I had been given.  I had to retrace my steps and by some miracle found both. I was shocked the check hadn't blown away.  I swear I'm such a  bubble head sometimes.  

Edited*** The above was written yesterday...I just forgot to update.****

So yesterday I took Cedric in for his 1 year well baby check up.  He weighed 23.6 pounds.  He did not like being there!!!  Poor Dr. Kim had to examine him practically on my shoulder. He was like a scared cat crawling up my arm and onto my shoulder.  Poor baby had to get a shot as well.  His screeched so loud and high when that happened.  I hated it for him.  He seems over it now though...happy and playing.  I discussed his lack of eating solid foods and his taste and texture issues.  Cedric will choke on things that are too thick or chunky.  He will gag himself and then throw up.  Not a fun thing to happen.  So they are referring us to first steps.  They will do an evaluation on him and see what needs to be done.  Spen had physical and occupational therapy through them, so I completely trust them and understand all the ins and outs of them.  I just hope he can work through these issues and be able to eat solids soon.  

Ok off to work out I go.

It's calm here after the storms of procrastination subsided..

procrastination... I truly think if you were to look it up in Websters dictionary my smiling face would be placed right beside the word.  I pulled an all nighter last night editing pics.  Stayed up to 3 something. I'm weird, but I have to be inspired to edit and play with pics on the computer.  If I'm not inspired it's torture. 

I think I'm going to walk to pick Spen up from school today...it's going to be such a pretty day out.  I need to hit the treadmill today too.  I indulged a little too much this past week...and my pants are reminding me so.

I think I'm going to yet again attempt to take Cedric to baby hour at the library. Hopefully, we can make it this time.


This new year I am going to get super organized and kick my office's butt and start up my magazine.  I'm tired of the clutter.


My kitchen curtains are somewhat finished, minus the bottom hem.  I'm on the fence about them.  I like them one minute and am unsure the next.  I need some new curtains in my family room and throw pillows. Today is a day I wish I had some fun fabric to make new throw pillows : )  They're always a nice cheap fix to a boring room.

Ok...off to slumber I go.  Praying all is well with my brother in law today.

I'm a nervous wreck!!!

Prayers being sent out towards my brother in law tonight!!!

Note to self....

Be more specific when using google image search.  Ummmm...who would have thought the words homemade valance would bring up a plethora of porn. (I'm looking for a pattern to make one for my kitchen)  I added the word homemade (window) valance and ummm....yeah...still porn.  Weird.  Ok....pointless entry...just an FYI

Cute pic...

Had to share this pic I found online...adorable!!!

It's official I'm going to take a crocheting or knitting class..when and what I'm not sure of :)

New self goal...

I want to learn how to properly crochet.  I am a train wreck when it comes to this.  I know there are some classes down the street from me, so I might look into them.  I love making things with my hands.  With that said my sexy hubby sewed my curtains last night. HA!  I am horrible with a sewing machine.  I always screw it up and use the wrong tension.  I also go way too fast and it ends up a dire mess.  Here's a pic of him in action!

The curtains turned out adorable especially with the mini rods.  I'm still not done, so I'll post pics of the finished project.  I'm excited...my kitchen no longer looks like a Danny Tanner reject.

I could literally kick my self!!!!  My all time favorite author came to my town and I MISSED him!!!  I adore David Sedaris.  I swoon over his humorous words and love his description of everyday life.  I missed him.  Sitting here having a mini pity party. 

Mommy ears just perked up.  The baby is downstairs with Eric and I heard him coughing.  I started to run downstairs, and Eric stopped me on the steps by yelling he's ok.  He laughs at me and my over protectiveness. 

Off to work out and do the mom thing...

The funny parts of life...

Today, I had one of those oh no moments with my cell phone.  I had a photo shoot very early in the morning in Crestwood.  For some reason my GPS stops working properly as soon as I enter into this place...Crestwood and Indiana.  Go figure!  Anyhoo, I called Eric while in McDonald's drive thru waiting on a iced coffee desperate to find my way.  I had to shoot a Christmas bazaar for the paper and I had already gone past my arrival time...so I was already freaking out a little bit.  Then it happened...the funny part.  For some weird reason when I got my new EVO phone all my contacts from facebook uploaded to my contacts to my phone book.  My phone call dropped and I went to press redial.  Ummmm....no for some reason my phone called my ex boyfriend.  I have a few ex's I'm friends with on my FB. I don't really hate anyone, and I was young when I dated most of them, so they really don't count.  WELL.. OMG....for a split second I froze.  I was like what to do what to do??? I starred for a hang up button but my screen had already gone to my home screen.  I ended up pressing the wrong key ( still learning at this phone thing) and I could hear it ringing...(I WAS FREAKING OUT BY THIS TIME)...praying please don't answer..please don't answer... so I finally found my end phone call button.  Yeah...I didn't need the coffee to wake me up after that experience.  I debated on sending an email apologizing for waking him up early on a Saturday morning, but decided to do nothing and pray he didn't call me back.  I ALWAYS do something like this.  I swear, why I am allowed modern technology is beyond me.  It was rather funny once my heart stopped pounding so hard.  I thought about what would I have said if he had answered and how awkward that would that have been.  I'm really really ungraceful with awkward situations.  I blurt things out and then have that where the hell did that come from thoughts and now this person thinks I have turrets.  Case in point, I once ran into an ex at Burger King.  We dated when I was super young.  I never hated him and he was a nice guy.  Well, I was so shocked to see him and I had had a VERY rough day...my kid was sick with strep throat and I had ran him in to go the bathroom and grab a drink when he walked up to me to say hey.  I blurted out hi...and for him to stay away my son is contagious. That's all I said.... WTF???  I think it was more the manor of my yelling it at him instead of telling him that shocked him.  He gave me the woah settle down Miss Crazy look and we parted ways.  Yeah, I hate meeting people you don't expect to see out and esp if your mind is somewhere else.  I laugh now...just because I looked like an idiot. 

I also had a very scary mommy moment today.  I had to go to a birthday party.  The family all drove across town enjoyed the party but on the way home Ceddy started choking.  Not the I just drank too much milk choke, but the type of choking you are for sure he swallowed a small plastic piece.  I couldn't get to him fast enough...my hubby pulled over and I jumped out of the car.  I yanked open the door and began checking him out.  He was playing with a teething toy and I looked it over for signs of a missing piece.  Nothing..I scooped Ceddy's mouth...nothing.  He soon calmed down and I can only figure he's teething and choked on the extra saliva in his mouth. SCARED me to death.  I hate those mommy moments that your heart literally stops.  Once I realized he was going to be ok, Eric yelled for me to hop back in...I hadn't paid attention to the fact we were still in the road almost in the ditch when he pulled over and there were cars around us.  So I hopped back in and we were on our merry way.  Whhheeeeewwwwww....it's hard being a momma. 

ok...off to make curtains I go.  This shall be fun.

Side note...

Ok...was just thinking about some things in my very lovely hot shower.  I'm warm for the moment : ) 

I read a new blog today and fell in love with the mom.  She talked about how complacent people become once a tragedy is over.  Once you survive and you have your happy outcome  you continue on forging ahead in your trivial regular life. Back to shopping, decorating, just every day stuff, but you seem to lose hold of that mere moment when you would have given everything up  for your happy ending to occur.  Once the dust settles and once your world is made whole again, we often forget what is truly precious. We get lost in the everyday battles of bills, work and life itself.  She was discussing the fear of her child's health.  That is a fear on no other.  I have faced that fear and it's terrifying.  I'm guilty of being complacent.  At times when I'm tired I am grumpy with my kids.  I lose sight of how precious they are, and how at one moment in time I was terrified of losing them.  I think it's humbling to recall your most worrisome moment and hold onto it to remember what truly is precious. I will never forget this story I read about a mother with a physically handicapped child.  Her child was developmentally delayed and she really did not know what his physical capabilities would be.  One day, he reached over and started pulling out her CD's from her CD rack.  She didn't correct the baby, but instead edged him on.  She called for her husband and they cheered.  Where as most parents would say no and correct their baby, they were merely happy that their child could pull the CD's down.  He was moving and exerting physical abilities.  I know it's silly, but I remind myself this often when my kids do things that drive me crazy...because I know their are a plethora of parents out their wishing their children could be doing that.  My oldest son was born with torticollis...aka a crooked neck.  He was a rag doll most of the 1st year of his life.  He was delayed physically on a lot of things.  For a short time I had no idea what he would be like, what his life would be like. He spent his 1st year in PT and OT twice a week. I see him strong and tall now and I know I am truly blessed.  God blessed me with two beautiful boys, and I need to slow down and remember this the next time I feel overwhelmed...

It's cold out....

I can't seem to get warm today.  I guess ballet flats might be the culprit.  But I'm too lazy to put socks on while running out and about.  I have a long list of things to do sitting in front of me.  But a hot shower may be the next task I actually accomplish.

I painted my mini curtain rods.  They turned out cute! Pictures will follow once they are installed. I went to Lowes yet again today to return the rod holders and purchase new wooden curtain rings.  I pinned my curtains to be sewn and I'm waiting for Eric to get home to attach my rods to the walls.  I dare not try this task by myself.  I am horrible at hanging things.  I usually leave 6 holes in the wake of a picture hanging. 

I need a momma and Spencer date.  I haven't been out with my little guy lately alone.  I'm thinking about taking him to the coffee shop across the street and let him get a hot chocolate.  He's a funny character.  He has now realized the art of being a smart ass.  He's truly my child.  I find him amusing.

Spen lost yet another tooth today.  Two in one week!  He lost this one at school.  He was beyond excited.  It was his medal of honor in front of his friends.  I save all his teeth.  I have no idea what I'll do with them, but they are his baby teeth and they need to be saved :) 

I did not vote on this election day.  Instead I worked.  I really had no idea who all was running and what stances they have.  I had a number of lovely candidates call and ask me to personally vote for them...umm hemmm cough vomit choke.  I hate election time. 

Saving money.  I'm on a kick of trying to be budget friendly.  We really don't have a budget, hence our problem....but I am trying my best to cut corners and save money.  Our goal is to be debt free soon!  No credit cards or car payments.  It's a lovely dream.  Maybe one day it will be obtainable.  Until then...monthly payments will drain my bank account. 

I miss my bangs...I think soon I shall be going darker and having some bangs cut.

Freezingggg....ok...pointless blog...off to that hot shower I go!

Soooo....

The past two weeks have been insane to say the least.  Two photo shoots, two Halloween parties to throw, and Halloween itself.  I also have a photo assignment this morning and then another one this Saturday.  I am spent.  I wish I could pause life for a few hours and sleep.  This morning I had to get the kids up dressed and off to my moms, then drive back over here and take pics, edit and upload them.  Then drive back over to my moms.

Ok...updates in list form... Pics from us for Halloween trick or treating at the zoo.  Eric and I went as Garth and Wayne from Wayne's world.

Spencer went at Marty Mcfly...awesomeness and Ceddy went as Doc Brown :)

Cedric's birthday was fun.  We took him to Art Sparks.  Actually we took both boys.  Then we went trick or treating at the zoo.  Ceddy opened his bday gifts in the morning before Eric went to work.  He had a blast at both Art Sparks and the zoo. 

Cedric's 1st birthday was insane...but in a good way.  I only snapped a few pictures because my house was flooded with people and my fog machine outside kept tripping the breaker.  I had an awesome turnout...around 42 people.  I had a mini freak out a few days before when I figured up how many people would actually be coming.  Cedric did awesome!  No melt downs or freak outs.  He laughed smiled and enjoyed the crowd.  The kids played games and everyone gorged on party food.  It was a a great party!!!  I can't believe my little guy is one.


Halloween was spent in a fabulous neighborhood where Martha Stewart resides in everyone's heart and is on full display with the holiday.  I was blown away by the parties, decorations and shear ambiance of the neighborhood!  I was in love.  It was the closest to a New England Halloween I would have this year!   Eric and I ditched our original costume to avoid having to wear a wig.

 

I'm super tired.  I have a little window project going on right now.  We shall see if it turns out or is a major disaster.  Fingers crossed it works.

I'm tempted to have a Christmas Party/ bake off.  All my friends are awesome cooks....so I'm tossing around the idea of having my friends all bring one dish...their signature dish and everyone will vote on the best side dish.  No desserts will be allowed.  I will supply the meat and dessert for the party.  I think it would be a lot of fun to have board games and holiday drinks as well. A small prize will be awarded to the winner.  So I need to decided if I should do this or not....hummmmmm....... I love all my friends cooking...so this would be an awesome party. 

Busy Busy Busy....me....

I had a wonderful birthday.  My mom and dad came over with gifts and cupcakes.  My cute niece sang to me and then Eric came home early.  We went out to eat...I ate entirely way too much and refuse to weigh myself...ha.  Then we went and bought myself a new EVO.  I LOOOOOVVVVEEEEEE it!  I'm so spoiled.  I have been trying to figure out the apps and all the gadgets on it.  My old phone was stone age and royally sucked.

Today is my wedding anniversary.  I love my hubby more than life itself and am madly deeply head over heels for him.  We can't celebrate it today because Spen has cub scouts tonight and it getting some awards at the meeting.  We are going out this Sunday to the theater.  I'm excited.  We are going to see http://www.actorstheatre.org/play_irmavep.htm

It looks fun and campy.

I have so much to do and I'm weeks behind...so off I go to catch up!

HOLY SH*T....

EEEKKKKK....I'm 29 today.  Where has the time gone???  Last time I blinked I was 21.

Wheww.....

Ok updates!

I just set up my studio for Cedric's b-day invite pics.  I'm soooo behind.  His party is the 30th.  I've am so behind on things it's driving me nuts.  But it looks cute!  I HATE messing with fake cobwebs.  It's annoying and they stick to you and I can never get them to do what I want.  grrrr....

Holy shit my birthday is tomorrow!!!  I am old. I'll be 29... yikes!!!!!!!


Eric is taking me to a play for our anniversary.  I'm super excited. I haven't been to the theater in over a year :(  Maybe two.  I LOVE IT!!! Secretly, I've always wanted to be an actor. Ho hummmm...fallen dreams.

My doctor called with my blood work results...and my thyroid is off.  I'm so happy...I'm not nuts.  I have had zero energy.  Yesterday I crashed so hard.  It was one of those naps you wake up freaked out not knowing how long you slept and what time of day it is. Well, they upped my meds.  Hopefully, I will have energy again and not have to work like a slave to maintain or lose weight.


I bought a new kitchen table.  New to me, old to someone else.  I got it at unique thrift store.  I paid around $40 bucks for it.  It's super traditional.  I plan on painting it black and then adding modern chairs to it.  In my head it will look awesome...now in reality...that may be another story.  We shall see. 

I have two more photo shoots this month. I'm excited for them.

I went on a Ghost run this weekend.  I had a blast!  It sucked my group had to split up into two car loads because we all couldn't fit in one car.  Also, my camera screwed up and corrupted my pics so no pics of the night.  Boo!  Oh well, it was fun nonetheless.  I was fun going out with friends and going to haunted houses.  Eric laughed at how freaked out I was.  I DO NOT LIKE MASKED PEOPLE IN MY FACE!  Period.

I went to my 10 year high school reunion.  It was nice.  A lot more people showed up than I thought.  Eric had a good time with Joe and I got to see some old friends. 

I can't believe I am well on my way to 30.  It's kinda nuts just thinking about it.  I'm am really in love with my life right now.  I thank God for that!!!  So maybe the big 30 won't be so bad. 

Ok....

I'm about done with my book. I joined a book and wine club and yes the meeting is tonight to discuss the book Freedom.  I am a few pages shy of being finished.  That was a good read, but it was kinda unnerving.  But unnerving in a good way.  It made me appreciate my husband, and reminded me of my past a lot.  In the book the main character is always searching to fill a void within herself.  As all the other characters are doing the same.  It isn't until all that is wrong do they realize that what they were searching for was right beneath their noses the whole time.  I know how cliche.  But it's often times the truth.  The quiet girl is over looked for the blond bimbo or the shy guy is overlooked for the rocker egotistical guy. It happens.  It's life.  I cried last night reading about the failed marriage.  I was taken back to my first marriage and how horrific the emotions of a divorce can be.  I had entered that marriage for wrong reasons.  On false pretenses and ideas.  I was trying to escape my life and trying to enter into a life that didn't exist.  I was young and dumb.  I was promised so many lies, in my youth I believed.  I swallowed the happy pill of a neurotic abuser and I believed him in his promises.  I had warning signs all along my courtship with him, and yet I was blind to them.  Maybe desperation of a new beginning made me not see them.  But looking back I now wince at what I then overlooked.  The day of my wedding I had a panic attack and didn't want to go through with it.  He talked me into it.  I should have ran....ran away from everything and found myself.  But instead I listened to him and that night entering into my new house after the wedding I knew I had made a grave poor choice in not running.  My stomach felt it and I swallowed the truth and pretended not to know.  It wasn't within a few days that abuse started.  I will never forget him yanking the plug from the computer telling me to never talk to an old friend because of his response to my marrying.  My old friend was shocked and warned me of my new husband.  He told me to be careful and that he had a "shady" past.  I wept as he yelled over me as I sat on the floor.  Like most abusers he was prince charming the next day or hour.  He was nice and he was kind again.  I will never forget me sitting there, knowing in my heart I should just leave, but I didn't want to admit failure or that I was wrong in my youthful dumb decision to wed.  Anyway, two weeks later I was pregnant and trapped.  The life of a dumb little girl.  I LOVE my son more than life itself and it was he who saved me.  He gave me the strength to get away.  He gave me the strength to find myself again.  He pushed me in his childhood innocence to go back to school and find a better life for us.  Well, the jest of this whole pointless paragraph was I knew what the characters were going through.  I knew both sides of the pain, and it's a gut wrenching pain when you realize your marriage is over and that the person you married was not who you thought they were.  How all your hopes and aspirations change when you are no longer married.  Divorces are just sad.  It's a huge failure.  Things were so different when I met Eric.  I had gone to school, had a good paying job and was making my way with my son in the world.  I really did not want a serious relationship.  I had just ended things with another person because I did not want any attachments other than my son.  He was my world.  All that changed with one phone call.  A once close friend called me and told me of my new Friday plans.  She was playing match maker and I was to meet Eric.  He too had been married and going through a divorce and she thought we would hit it off.  Little did we both know how truly right she was.  From our first unofficial date we have been inseparable.  I fell in love with him instantly.  He respected me and respected my safety wall I had constructed over the years.  He was able to go around something I had worked so hard to construct.  Reading about the characters and their decisions to marry, made me think of mine.  When I married Eric it was different.  It was a joyous occasion. I had no reservations about it.  It's funny we had a small intimate ceremony, went home changed, ate Chinese food and then went to the movies.  It was so natural. I cried at my wedding with him, tears of joy.  I loved him so much and felt so safe in his arms.  I had already found myself and knew who I was by the time he asked me to marry him.  So when I said yes, I was saying yes as a strong woman, not a meek little girl.  My two marriages...as bizarre as it is to write the fact that I have been married twice at the ripe old age of just 28 have been polar opposites.  Eric and I have talked about wishing we had met sooner and both circumvented the pain we felt from our first failed marriages, but then we both agree that makes us who we are today.   We both know we wouldn't be who we are if we hadn't felt that pain.  Next week on the 21st will be my anniversary.  It's funny because in our household that's a day we celebrate as a family.  We officially became a family that day.  For our honeymoon we all went to Disney World.  So each year we celebrate as a family.  I love my husband more than life itself.  Reading that book, just brought up some bad memories, and made me even more appreciative of the relationship I have with Eric.  My ex is still an abusive man.  I have no doubt.  His past girlfriends have told me such stories.  I feel sorry for him in one hand but in another hate how he is.  I will leave it at that. Nonetheless, divorce is just a sad topic.  I can't wait for Eric to get home and hug him. 

I hate the doctors office...esp new ones....

I hate having to write out all my information...including history, insurance and meds.  I'm a freak of nature and have a lot of things wrong with me...so it's annoying having to explain everything to a new doctor.  I have to go to an endocrinologist today.  I hear she is really sweet.  So that's a plus.  My thyroid is wacky and I want to get it straightened out. 

Ok...I went looking for some birthday clothes last night.  Actually, this past week I have been shopping in search of some new clothes and a purse.  I went to almost EVERY store two malls had to offer with no luck.Well, I went into a store in the mall and found some cute stuff on sale.  Double plus.  Only draw back was the sales girls.  Holy hell, they were on me like white on rice.  I'm not sure if they work on commission or what.  But they were bringing things out from the back that wasn't on display until next week.  It was funny...it was such a pretty woman moment. My dressing room was piled high with clothes for me to try on. They kept trying to get me to buy this one shirt.  It was bright red.  I like monochromatic clothing...I know how exciting?  But I like for my accessories to be the focal point...not a bright red shirt.  Also, I knew the likelyhood of me wearing said shirt more than once would be slim...so I decided on a scoop neck grayish brown number.  I did score a pair of skinny jeans too.  I found a cute purse and matching wallet on sale!  So needless to say...I had a very happy shopping adventure.  I've lost all my baby weight and am trying to slim down some more.  I'm just a few pounds shy of my goal weight.  Hopefully, the doctor can give me some advice today with my thyroid.



I can't believe I will be 29.  OUCH!  I told Eric not to worry about gifts this year.  I got my new camera lens and a bunch of new clothes.  So I took care of my gifts. Ha.  I have no idea what we will do for our anniversary.We got married the day after my birthday.  I love my husband more than life itself.  I know I'm always bragging about him...and I know it's probably very nauseating.  But my hubby is truly the greatest guy.  Eric has this very special way of loving a person.  He loves you unconditionally.  When he looks into your eyes, you know he truly loves you.  I have dated numerous guys and kissed my share of toads. Ha.  But Eric is different.  He doesn't have anything to prove, he's comfortable with himself and therefore makes you comfortable with yourself.  He is the best supporter.  We have had our share of sadness.   But he has been there holding my hand through it all.  I'll never forget the day I miscarried.  I was weeping at the doctors office and he was there wiping my tears away.  He was hurting just as bad, but he was so strong for me.  When we tried for 2.5 years to conceive and never once did I feel pressure from him.  He told me he was happy with Spencer.  I had given him a son already.  He loves that boy more than life itself.  Never once has he looked at him like a step son. He is his son.  He adores that boy and spoils him rotten.  He lives for our children.  He respects our children and I respect him even more so for doing so.  He is kind and gentle.  He has taken care of me in my most depressing hours or weak moments.  He has lifted me up and supported me.  Last year when Cedric was in the hospital he stepped up and took on all the responsibility.  I was so tired from delivery and recuperating.  He was there taking care of Cedric and asking questions.  Each day I fall more and more in love with this man.  He's one of a kind. I want to do something special for our anniversary.  He's a special guy and deserves something as wonderful as he is.  I have an idea of something...but that will be my secret...because he sometimes wonders onto this blog.  Ok...gag already I know....I'll stop with the mushy feeling stuff.

Ok..off to the grocery and doctor I go.

Happy...

I'm so happy Eric is home!!!  I missed him and so did the kids.

I had a photo shoot today.  The couple was super sweet and nice.  I love working with nice clients.  I need to edit pics.

I'm excited I figured out what I'm going to do on Cedric's real birthday.  His party is on Saturday, but real birthday is on Thursday.  So we are going to take him to Art Sparks.  They have a fun toddler baby room there.  I know he will LOVE it.  I'm a weirdo and you have to do something on the kids actual birthday too.  It's a special day...a celebration of life.


Ok...design concepts.  I love modern.  But my house is traditional.  It screams traditional....so I can't go super modern with how the layout is currently.   I don't live in a loft so I won't pretend that I do...so I'm trying to work with the current elements and yet somehow make it more modern.  The two worlds shall meet...hopefully blissfully in my house.  I made it work in my formal living room.  I have an idea for my kitchen.  I scratched the wall color because no matter what shade of blue I chose...it screamed country blue to me.  It was probably only in my head, but once I shared my thoughts with Eric said he saw it too.( I bought paint colors and tried them out and each one looked off)  So I chose a weird brown/gray/green color.  I swear it changes as the day goes on.  I have the same color in my family room.  So here are my ideas.... I want a traditional kitchen table with modern chairs and I have become obsessed with family silhouettes.  I plan on making my families and putting them on the big wall in my kitchen.  I'm so excited.  Below are my inspirations.

 

This is one of the frames from lovely IKEA I will be buying to house Eric and my silhouettes.

I adore these and have to somehow recreate them for my family.

I'm in love with these chairs...and found a place that sells them CHEAP!

I like mixing it up...traditional and modern....

I love this look. and chairs...but I could just see the kids tipping them over :(  I know what I like isn't earth shattering or a "new" concept...but I'm just happy I've finally decided on a theme and am moving with it.  I want a black traditional table.  I'm thinking realistically.  Black will hide a lot of things and I originally had wanted a glass table but with kids I'm not sure how safe that would be....esp...since Cedric is a VERY active baby...what will he be like as a toddler???  Also spen trips all the time...so I could just see him falling into it...not a good vision. I want to have a safe happy house that I can let him run freely in.  I read reviews on the chairs I want and they say they are great for kids and they clean up easily...always a plus in my book :)

This is the chandelier we bought.  It's kinda going with the theme of traditional but yet modern....  Hopefully, the kitchen turns out, but no matter how bad it looks it will always look better than the original wallpaper :)

...................

So Eric got home...changed his shirt... packed the rest of the gear he needed and then off he left with Spen for the cub scout camping trip.  I only got to see him for a few minutes.  He gave me a hug after I picked him up from the airport and it was nice to be back in his arms.  I missed him. Spen was super excited about the trip.  Eric was nervous about forgetting supplies.  I wanted to go but Cedric is still really little and it's going to be cold tonight.  I was going to go down for the bonfire, but Eric's flight was late so I decided it wasn't worth the 1 hour drive to turn right back around. 

I'm sleepy...I hope the boys are having fun.  I want to go hiking and camping...oh well...

I'm going to push Eric to do something that is very outside his comfort zone.  I'm going to make him write his screenplay he has already written inside his head.  He needs to put it on paper.  It's a brilliant story.  He's so shy about his creativeness.  It's a very creative and interesting concept.  Now, who knows if it would ever come of anything.  But the process of creating something is the most fun.  I think he would love it.  He just needs some help and support.  He just needs to get started and I bet he would be addicted to writing. 

Ok...off to finish my movie and book...pointless entry.