Promises for 2013

  Life is all about what you make of it.  Sometimes, you have to put on your big girl panties and realize you will never have the things you long for.  Life is about accepting things and moving on.  This past week I reached out and tried to better a relationship with my mother only to have it backfire.  I have come to the realization that I will never have the idea relationship with her. A relationship that consists of normal mother daughters situations. She is who she is, and I am who I am.  We have different parenting views and styles.  She is obviously not comfortable with my views, and I am not going to edit or change them.  I am who I am, and I parent how I parent.  I have unconditional love for my children and can only strive to have a better relationship with my kids than I have with my own parents.  Sometimes as adult you are given a wake up call and you realize you can't change people, you can only change how you deal with them.  So no longer will I try to be closer, I will only put that energy back into my family.  So with welcoming 2013 I am no longer going to long for what I do no have but rather nurture what I do have. I have two beautiful children.  We will start our own family traditions : )

This year I promise the following:

- To get outside more! I love hiking and this is something I need more in my life!

- To start new adventures! 

- To take more photos!!!  I've not been snapping as much and this is only due to my laziness.

- To not live with guilt!  I can not control how others feel, those are their feelings.  I am no longer going to be controlled or made to feel less than due to others thoughts.

- Work out!!!  This sister needs to hit the gym!!!

- Get my house in shape!  I'm tired of closets bursting at their seams and projects not completed!

- Go after whatever dreams I am too nervous to pursue.  You get one life, and there is no time to sit on the sidelines.

- Love my boys and introduce them to more life experiences!

- Travel!!!

- Volunteer. I have an idea where I would like to, but it's just a matter of making time.

- Blocking out negativity.  Only thinking positive thoughts and surrounding myself with positive people. 

2013 will be a good year!  The newness of the year brings with it excitement of possibilities, memories to be made, and the magical feeling of not knowing what is to come.  A new journey to be had!  Wishing everyone a fabulous year!!! 

Poor poor little blog

I have neglected you.  I have been insanely busy last month. I had parties, a festival, a camping trip, wedding and health scare to deal with.  But I am back!  Happy, healthy and feeling wonderful!

Current random thoughts:

I have started doing a daily top 10 list of blessings.  I'm trying to purge myself of negativity.  This includes, thoughts, actions and PEOPLE ; P

I firmly believe we are our words and thoughts.  I'm so over negative people and thoughts. I admit I have been a Debbie Downer lately, and something has got to give!  So with that said...I choose to see the glass half full and move on.

The election...woah Momma. I was nervous there for a second, but my nerves were soon calmed.  I have voted in every election I have been legally able to.  I made my husband drive home early from our mini vacation so I could cast my vote.

Our mini vacay:  JUST WHAT WE NEEDED!!!  Last month Eric, my husband, had a health scare.  They were afraid he had thyroid cancer.  Honestly, all signs were pointing to it.  Thankfully, his biopsy came back benign!  BUT I got really sick due to stress.  So sick I ended up having to call off my son's birthday party. You know sh*t done got real when I call off a party...ha!  I was miserable. When I get stressed, I get sick.  I ended up going to see the doctor and she gave my a shot along with antibiotics.  I'm feeling much better and VERY well rested!  We took an impromptu trip to the Gatlinburg.  It's funny, because my husband and I always call it the old folks capital. We decided why not join the old folks and rent a cabin.  I'm so glad we did!  I LOVED the cabin.  It was in the woods and surrounded by trees.  I LOVED IT!!!  The kids had a blast running around.  It was three levels and had tons of space.  I felt kinda guilty not using all the beds, so next time we will be taking friends with us!  I so wish I could have Christmas up there, but I'd be afraid of being snowed in.  That will go on my bucket list!

Halloween was fun!  I love the fact my husband spoils my boys.  He worked hard on Spen's costume.  He was determined to have the LED's working! I also love how he is not afraid to make an ass of himself!  He proved this with agreeing to be Redfoo.  Here are some shots from Halloween.

 Every Day I'm Shuffling!  Have a great week guys!!! I promise more updates this month!

Kinda Numb...

So Eric got his test results back from his thyroid scan.  Not good.  He has a nodule that is questionable.  I had a bad feeling about his test.  My heart sank today when he called and told me the news.  He set up an appointment to go talk with his doctor.  So my mom came and sat with Cedric and I met him there.  With his blood work, thyroid being so swollen, and the way the nodule looks the doctor wants a biopsy.  Honestly my mind is going to cancer. I keep having crying fits during the day when no one is around.  I love my husband so very much.  He is my best friend.  I keep thinking why him. He's the good guy.  He's the husband that rushes home to his kids and wife.  He is selfless and loving.  I just hope and pray everything turns out ok and his biopsy is benign.  They should call tomorrow with the date it's scheduled.  I feel like such a horrible wife.  Eric was worried about me!?!?  I need to be strong.  I need to pull myself together.  I'll do that tomorrow ; )  Today, I'll sit with a pity party tucked away in my office crying away from the boys.  I just hope and pray everything is ok!!! Please keep my hubby in your prayers!

My Life As of Lately...

This weeks mantra! 

I have been insanely busy.  From work, to kids, to just life.

Right now my nerves are pretty shot.  My husband is having some health issues and I'm kinda going a little insane with worry.  He is my best friend, my partner and the love of my life.  I just hope and pray everything is ok. I could not imagine a life without him.  We are attached at the hip and I adore him even if we argue like an old married couple....ha! We will find out more by next week.  This month we will be celebrating our 6 year anniversary.  I love him so much and he is such an important part of my life.  He is the sweetest guy who always puts others and his family before himself.  I will update more once we know exactly what is going on. Please keep my hubby in your prayers and thoughts.

Last weekend was the cub scout camp-out.  We had a blast.  Even if I did not want to exit my tent in the morning to frigid temps. Ha...Eric basically had to drag me out.  I freeze too easily and once I get cold it takes a small eternity for me to warm up.

Halloween...I'm sure my neighbors know something is up with my family.  We do not have our  usual plethora of decorations up yet.  This is unheard of.  We are the Pullen's aka Clark Griswold of decorations. We have just had so many things going on to drag everything down from the attic.  But THIS shall be done tonight!!!

Halloween parties...I have been working on ideas for three.  Sheeeshhhhh along with the family fun night.  I have over extended myself this month.

Work has been insanely busy too.  This is my busiest month.  I feel bad at times because I could really grow my business if I wanted to.  I know how, I have the skills and resources to do so...I just am enjoying being a mom and wife right now.  This will come later.  I had this aha moment last month.  I really like being a mom and wife.  I am not saying you can't be both with working, but for me I like the freelance lifestyle of picking and choosing when I work.  I like that I can attend my son's class party.  I like that I can snuggle with my youngest during the day or go on an impromptu picnic. I had wanted to go back to school and start a new career, but that is just too much to do at this point in time.  I also realized there is no hurry to be successful.  Life is a journey with different stops along the way.  I know I am blessed to have the ability to have the work schedule I have.  I have been a single mother working full-time and I know the riggers of that  life.  It seems as women and mothers we sometimes put so much stress on ourselves with the idea we must do it all. I'm not swallowing that pill anymore.  I enjoy the lackadaisical lifestyle I have and who knows what next month, year or years shall bring.  But at this moment, I will continue on with the pace I am going and not wear myself out on a rat race. Finding your bliss is very important and having the ability to realize it and hold it in your grasp is an amazing thing few ever obtain.  I'm living my bliss right now : ) 

Saturday one of my best friends is getting married and I am her maid of honor.  I wrote my speech and now I need to remember it ha!  They are a wonderful pair and I'm so happy for them!!! Now to find me some shoes to wear and jewelry to go with my dress.  I ALWAYS wait until the last minute.  Shheessshhhh....

Ok..off to clean.  Wishing all my followers a great week.  Remember to hug your love ones and follow your bliss, even if it is off the beaten path!!!

Dad Love...

It was super sweet this morning.  While checking over my oldest sons homework my heart melted.  Just had to share!!!

Being Responsible and all that jazz...

OK, admit it...everyone groans when you have to do the "right" thing as an adult.  When sleeping in is not an option and blowing your paycheck on new makeup and clothing doesn't even enter the realm of reality anymore. Today my husband called to let me know he got a bonus, besides the fact taxes got to it before I could we both made the boring ADULT decision to put it into savings. Blah blah blah....oh joy.  I think of all the things I could spend that money on...and in our savings account just doesn't seem very fun.  

Below is a random list of things I miss about being a non-productive adult...aka...still living at home care-free and all that jazz...

•  Sleeping in. I miss this so much.  I am NOT a morning person.
•  Staying up all night and watching the night turn into the morning. 
•  Blowing your paycheck on clothing, new hair, nails, or any other girly thing my mood fancied at the time.
•  Sleep...good solid slumber.  Not having difficulty falling asleep worrying if your kids have kicked their covers off.
•  Bills...oh how as a young adult I was dumb and thought it was funny to ignore them.  This proved to be a rather dumb move on my part. But I do miss the innocence of not realizing just how important your credit rating really is. The hubs and I have nearly perfect credit now and that took some hard work on our part.
•  Eating anything and not worrying.  No fears of cancer, pesticides, or hell even gaining weight.  I used to be the size of a stick.  Now if I simply look at food my ass has jumped two sizes. 
• Cleaning.  Ha...wondering why people wasted their time with that.
• My biggest miss is the lack of fear. As a young carefree adult you don't understand the gravity of a mother's fear.  Fear truly does not enter into your life until you are a parent.  Then fears you never even knew were possible creep in.  They can be rational, or the biggest irrational fears but they are real to you.  I laugh looking back at some of the dumb fears I had as a new parent.  Then I cringe at some of the ones I had to face that were real ones.  But I do miss complete and total ignorance to things of the heart sometimes. This Mommy job can be hard on your worry meter. Hence, why my second child has given me gray hairs.  OK...off to start my day. I have a 3 years old birthday party to plan and errands to run.  Also, a lovely dirty house begging for my attention. Have a great Friday guys!!!

Life Abundance...

Have you ever woke with such gratitude for your life?  Your inner sinew sings to the heavens and your soul weeps for yet another beautiful filled day of life.  I had that today.  This morning was different.  It wasn't the usual morning simply filled with going through the motions; but the type of day you glance over at your spouse make eye contact and know you both know how lucky you two are. Today is my love of life abundance day!  I have two wonderful beautiful children.  One full of such wisdom and strength way beyond his years.  Ever since he was a toddler I could tell he had a mission in life.  He was the sweetest baby, the calm child, the love bug.  My koala bear baby with an old soul.  He will roll with the punches life would throw his way with grace and humility. He is growing up to be a wonderful young man.  Then my second child.  My thrill seeker, my explorer. He is the one that breathes fire into your life with every discovery and every challenge he overcomes.  He is my wondering spirit.  Like the yin and yang these two souls have blessed my life way beyond any words could imagine.  Then there is my other half.  The one who calms my nerves, who pushes me for my dreams, and the one who keeps me on task within my journey in life.  One glance and the squeeze of my hand and I know everything will be ok.  Life will be ok.  My love for my husband is abundant.  Through every life challenge and obstacle we laugh, cry or simply set our sails to a different wind to move forward around the negative.  We are a team in this adventure called life.  Hand in hand walking towards our daily sunsets.  I feel so blessed to have my three wonderful men in my life. 

This post was originally written on Sunday, but being as lazy as I am, I'm just now uploading it.

Here are some phone pics from this weekend.

Nothing like an UNO game on the trampoline. 

Ok, had no idea Cedric knew so many of his colors and numbers.

Crazy Mom shot.

Wishing everyone a great week!  Off to sleep I go....

BLOG OVERHAUL!!!

Coming soon a blog overhaul.  I need to fix somethings and update my gadgets. Now to find the time to make this happen...

New design wants...

Ok, I had a light bulb go off in my head yesterday while shopping at World Market.  Between having to distract my two year old from knocking every bottle off the shelf and trying to find cute buys it dawned on me.  I'm totally digging the old world look. Old World as in industrial chic....not the store in the mall during the 90's that all our moms and grandma's went nuts for. I'm talking about  the rustic aged looking pieces. The industrial chic has crept up on me and I am head over heels.  While running my hands over a dining room table I noticed the dents, scratches and magically fell in love.  They added character to the pieces.  I have two boys and a clumsy hubby. I drank the kool-aid and am a World Market fan.  I still love super modern pieces, but they don't fair very well in my house.  They break, get stained or broken.  Give me the rustic wood and I shall dance a jig for you!  I have found stuff I like and plan on buying soon ; )   

Yes, doesn't everyone need a drafting table?

I must find a home for these curtains in my house...asap! 

I really really like this table. For some many reasons...but mainly because it seems pretty sturdy.  I'm sure my boys would be wheeling each other around sitting on top of it. And as in boys I mean my husband and kids   ; )

On the fence about the cherry blossom painting...

Love this table! 

 On the fence about this.  I'm SUPER picky when it comes to art. Dang all those art classes for making me an art snob!

New art project!!! I totally did not come up with this idea and I shall give props to another blog I follow Sara's Closet (I hate when people don't give their sources anyhoo)   My WM did not have the papers she used : ( or even had in the photo...so I found this lovely paper with a perfect shade of pink for the office : )

Lastly, I'll end with my sweet little men.  These two love to snuggle and love each other so much. Last night my heart melted while I was in my office.  Typing away for work I could here chit chat coming from my oldest son's room.  He has a bunk bed and my youngest has decided to set up camp in there.  I stopped typing to listen to what they were saying and they were telling each other goodnight and that they loved each other. Awwww...sweetness! 

Have a great weekend guys!!!

Living in your truth...Down the rabbit hole...

I just read a very inspiring blog post from Madebygirl.  It got me to thinking about my past and my current life.  I've never been a person to be shy or  fake.  I'm an open book if you just talk to me. But there are things in my past that I do regret. I've traveled down the rabbit hole and made bad choices, met wrong people, and set out on destructive adventures. This kinda was the running theme of my life for a 3 year span.  Crashed, burned and picked up the pieces. 

Suze Orman  talks about living in your truth.  I totally get that financially, but it also applies spiritually and emotionally.  We all have insecurities and past transgressions we are not proud of.  People we have scorned, words spoken in anger and simply bad choices made.  But all those things have made us who we are today. With every mistake and wrong path, we soon find the right one and move forward.  Life is a beautiful day anew with each morning.  This concept applies to people who have wronged you as well.  Holding onto anger gets you no-where fast.  So set yourself free and move on.  Life is an awesome place when you have a free heart : )

Have a great day guys!

Happenings

I stumbled onto our Day Out With Thomas photos and had to share one of my favorites : ) 

Here are a few photos from last week...

More photos to come of Ceddy and his preschool : )

A really blurry photo of mom trying to be stealth like and snap a photo while Spen entered his class.  All while trying to keep Ceddy out of Spen's class. 

Spen was excited and so was Cedric.  Cedric thought he was going to school too.

(Tis that time of year again...pop corn selling time.  I HATE this time) Any cub scout parent knows the loathe this time of year.

I felt bad for the boys.  No one wanted to answer their door.  I personally do not blame them ; )

We were a caravan of fun...or a hot mess. 

  

I love how involved my hubby is with the kids.  No hands off parenting for him : ) Even if it means walking door to door in the heat.

Cedric kept wanting to sell with the boys. 

So we let him. One problem though...Cedric would yell buy popcorn and try to run into their houses...yeah...not the best strategy.

All in all the boys managed to sell some.  The moms of pack and along with some of my friends are all planning on getting together and making survival bracelets for the boys to sell too.  This pop corn stuff is for the birds!

- Wishing all my followers a great week!  I promise more blog entries to come : )

It's exciting to have people from my blog and twitter accounts actually contacting me through email!  If you ever have a question feel free to write!!! I'm a nerd and love any form of socializing.  The lovely life of a a SAHM.  Have a great week!

School House Rock...

UPDATES:

School is about to start. Spen is half heartedly excited. Only half. We met with his teacher last week. She seemed super sweet and I have heard really good things about her.  I have a feeling this will be a great year for him. It is amazing how fast my sweet little guy has grown into a tall lanky boy.  He's too cool for all the excitement for school. Its funny though, no matter how big he gets he still crawls up on my lap and cuddles. Sure he'd love to see that typed out. But I'm proud my little guy cuddles still, gives hugs and kisses.  He tells me he loves me all the time. I love it! My family are huge huggers and love tellers.  We all aren't too cool for that...hopefully my boys will stay that way.

Cedric received his letter from his teacher this weekend. It was super cute! He is beyond excited. He talks about school all the time.  It will kill me leaving him on the first day of preschool, but it will be good for him. That's the hard part about parenting, knowing what is good for your child and putting on your game face. Putting aside your emotions and letting your child discover the world. No tears during drop off, now on the ride home...a different story. Although, this is not my first time at the rodeo and I have personally seen how much my oldest learned from preschool. Its hard driving off. He loved it though and learned so much.  It is amazing how different kids are when parents are not around. It is funny to see how they play and listen. They learn to socialize and interact with others on a different level. A level this AP mom can't let him do. Hehehehee, I'm a helicopter mom, guilty. Fears: I'm not worried about the teachers there. My friend is good friends with his teacher and I know another teacher at the school. Most of the teachers or aids are friends of friends.  Where I live is a small town atmosphere.  My main concern is what every rational mom fears, him being scared.  It would break my heart knowing he was freaked out. Here is another parent call. Knowing what your child needs. Each child is different, and has different needs. Cedric is a social butterfly.  He loves kids and people. He needs the interaction. Honestly, he probably will flash me the peace sign and dart off to play. Ha. This is an exciting chapter in his life. I treat this like he is going away to college. Nope, three hours, one day a week....hehehehehe.  but he is my baby... I know this is silly, but my goal as a parent is to instill in my children the courage and confidence I lack sometimes.  I want my boys to be confident kind men.  I think sometimes parents put their own personal fears onto their children. Kids are little sponges that soak up the good and bad attitudes we carry. So come the first day of school for both boys smiles will be had for all. Mom and Dad included. No tears, but only smiles and high fives!

Class for mom too. I start my first design class next month. I decided to take the Illustrator class instead of InDesign. I am excited and nervous...aka a ball of energy. I need to figure out a schedule and stick with it. I also need to start back at the gym. Not happy with the weight I've gained. Going to make life changes...what better time than now.

We went to Otter Creek this weekend.  The older boys shot guns and bows while Cedric and I explored.  They have remodeled and have a nice range there.  I did attempt to shoot a bow and arrow. Ha...let's just say I'd have a better chance hitting a target if I closed my eyes. I royally sucked.

Fingers crossed, my braces might come off this month!!! I will know next week 😁


Ok...off to sleep. Have a great week!!! Ps typing this on a tablet and at 1am, so sorry for any craziness among the lines.

Quote love

I read this quote from an offbeat mama post and fell in love!  I had to share it!!!

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow…

Pushing on moving forward...

My goal in life is to never stay stagnant. To be a constant realm of movement with creativity.  I fall short of this goal all too often, but most days I escape away at least in creative thought ; )  I may not be painting a masterpiece physically, but mentally, I have already painted five ; )  Being a mom of two active boys, working and being a wife makes it hard to find the time to be creative.  I have been interrupted three times just writing this blog entry and I'm only a paragraph in.

Staying creative...I'm a free spirit, so that helps.  I try to surround myself with art, creative people, and things that inspire me.  I'm taking a new step in the creative field.  I'm moving away from photography and moving more towards graphic design.  I love photography, but wedding photography has become a thorn in my side.  I honestly, no longer enjoy it.  It has lost it's luster and has been replaced with anxiety.  Long story here, but it's just not the same anymore.  I will continue to take portraits, but my heart has been yanked into another direction.

I'm going to start taking some graphic design classes online at Bellarmine. I'm super excited for this!  I absolutely LOVE learning.  This will be a new journey for me and I can't wait to start it!  I absolutely love the excitement of splendid ambiguity.  I love that I never will say never.  I have met so many wonderful people in the jobs, and adventures I have taken on in my life, I look forward to the many more that shall come with this journey!

Have a great day and follow your bliss!

Random update...

Nothing says summer like the local spray park! I took the boys and a friends son last week and just now got the photos off my phone : )  Lazy mom here...

The older boys were too cool for me.  They kept dodging me.

Cedric LOVED the car wash as he lovely called it.

Frames hand built by me and my hubby for my gallery wraps.

The gallery wraps waiting to be hung : ) I loved how they turned out!

 A sneak peek of shower decorations for the weekend's big event ; )

 Tomorrow I need to buy spray paint and paint horseshoes.  I shall do this while Eric is at work ; )

I whipped this up in photoshop and plan on tying it to the horseshoes with ribbon..somehow...have not fully figured that out ; )

Lastly, I will leave you with a fun image....this is how I cut the grass. Yup...I'm allergic to the outdoors. I'm pretty sure I should be living in a bubble somewhere with John Travolta in the 70's...

Have a great week guys!!!