Sweet sleep...

Ceddy was up last night from 3am-4am and then back up again sometime after that.  I gave up paying attention to the clock.  I kept bringing him into our bed and he wanted to play.  No sleep for him.  I made a 9:30 doctor appointment so I've been dragging today.

I had lunch with a friend today.  It was nice getting out of the house and getting to know her a little better.  Ceddy was not in the mood though.  I woke him up from a nap...a short lived nap and he was cross.  He's usually smiles and giggles...not so much today. 

I'm happy my blood work showed my thyroid levels are perfect.   Yay!  So I'm currently on the right dosage.  Always a good thing.  I feel a little guilty, I didn't work out today.  But I just don't have the energy.  I'm so drained.  I should sleep well tonight.

Apparently, Terry Meiners thinks it's ok to touch other peoples chicldrens heads while he is out and about.  Ummmm...kinda comical considering he's a weirdo.  I loathe local celebrities.  Ceddy had his head touched by a royal douche today. Now how to write that down in a baby book...hummmm...


Sadly, tonight I just gave my neighbor her christmas gift.  I'm such a slacker.

I had to hurry this evening and draw a bunch of native american signs on poster board for the cub scouts.  Poor Eric has been so busy I threw together something for the kids to do tonight.  Now I need to finish gathering supplies for Spen's class valentines party.

Ok...off to snuggle with Ceddy while Eric and Spen are away at cubscouts.

Perception...

Perception is a rather amusing thing.  Today I was dressed like a mental patient.  A full fledged mental patient at that.  I had to get spen up for school, find pants that actually fit him (he's going through a growth spurt),print and pack his class supply list for the party, make his breakfast, make his lunch, feed ceddy, clean ceddy up, make ceddy a bottle, pick said bottle off the floor because that's the game, put ceddys coat and hat on which all mothers know the joys of a toddler and their outside clothing and rush out the door all with a toe that feels like an elephant stepped on it and then suddenly caught on fire.  So I really looked like hell.  I had makeup under my eyes from the night before, my pj's on, rain boots and dress coat on (Because it's long and warm)...and prayed I made it to spen's school and the gas station without running out of gas.  I had been a ninny and not got any gas yesterday because of the rain.  So I whisked into the Kroger gas station and pulled into the lane on the outside. I pulled behind a little old lady who had so many political bumper stickers on her car it was amusing to see how she even drove.  She was hunched over and tiny with makeup three shades too dark for her face, but she had a kind smile.  I looked at her and felt sorry for her out in the cold getting her gas.  She looked at me and smiled...I could see it in her eyes she felt sorry for me too.  I looked down at myself and laughed...I did look a mess. It's just funny how life is.  While you're busy feeling sorry for someone they are feeling the same way towards you.  I laughed to myself on the way home and changed my outlook on the little old lady.  Hell, she was probably in her 80's and she was up and out by herself...go her!  She was able to get out in the cold, she was strong and was driving herself around.  I'm sure she saw mommy-ness written all over me and can recall those days. 

Poor eric couldn't sleep last night.  He was up at 3 and 4 am and had to be at work before 7am.  I hate it for him.  Poor guy.  I have an idea of something I'll do for him soon. 

I'm having some self realizations going on and I'm loving where I am in my life.  I'm really digging this journey I'm on and am beyond blessed.

Off to clean before Cedric's therapist comes.  Fuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn..........................

I'm in love...

With my new dermatologist.  I had to get in with my dermatologist asap so I said I would see a new doctor.  I am sooooo glad I did!!!  She rocked hard.  Not only did she listen to me, she explained things to me and was honest with me!!!  I LOVE that.  She put me on new meds for my acne.  I thought the retin a has been breaking me out but she said it's probably my acne is changing.  So she gave me some new meds.  She also said that she does peels and microdermabrasion. I talked with her and she recommended a mild peel.  I discovered what I thought was a corn actually was a wart.  GROOOSSSSSSSsssssssss.  I had one on my hand for YEARS!  I shall name him Richard...because he truly is a di*ck and hurts like hell.  So she froze him off and I have another appointment in three weeks to have it done again.  I wouldn't care if it wasn't causing me so much pain.  HOLY HELL batman.  I about cried this week because of the pain.  She told me she has one on her foot for the past 5 years and she's a dermatologist.  She's funny.  So I also scheduled an appointment to have a chemical peel done at the same visit of the Richard freezing.  I'm excited.  She said my skin would really benefit from a peel and I'll love it.  I'm excited!!!

And so it begins...

I have yet another doctor appointment today.  Hopefully, my old lady toe can be fixed and my skin can be radiant.  We shall see.

I'm planning on having a mommy night out.  I need a night out.  I'm thinking about doing it sometime this weekend and going out to the movies to see blue valentine.  It looks like a pretty hot movie...so who knows.  I thought it would be nice to catch up with my friends over dinner and a movie.  It's been awhile since I've hung out with them.  Eric said he'd watch the kids no problem.  He's such a sweetie.


Cedric is napping and I just got done working out.  Yippee.  I'm slowly making it a daily occurrence to at least walk 30 minutes on the treadmill while lifting weights.  Tiny Nikki here I come.  I can't wait to go for a hike as soon as the weather permits. 


I have a set of emails I net to send out. I've been awful about replying to people.  I just get side tracked. 

Ok...off to work on things I go.  Pointless update.

Focus...

Ok...my hair looks horrid.  I thought I would braid it to add some beach waves to it.  Ummm....no...I look like Phil Spector.

I was wanting this...

 

Long way off.

Today is crazy busy.  I have a million things ot do.  Thankfully, I woke up this morning with energy.  I have a feeling today will be a great day!  Cedric ate a french toast stick this morning.  The little stinker told me no at first and shook his head.  Oh, the joys of food therapy.  I'm not allowed to be negative or forceful.  I have to support him when he's slinging tomato sauce all over my white kitchen and I have to encourage him to do so.  Funnnnnnnnnnnnn...but today I was a little forceful for the mere fact I KNEW he would love it.  So I rubbed the french toast stick across his mouth a few times and left it on his tray.  When I had first laid it down he said no no and dropped it off his tray. HA. He's such a stinker, but after he got a taste of the stick he snatched it up and ate the majority of it.  HAPPY DAY!!!  I'm excited about his new found eating ability.  Eric and I are constantly giving him new things to try and he's doing wonderfully with them.  Yay!!!

Tax time is upon us and Eric and I are going to do something CRAZY.  We are going to up our exemptions.  Woah...this means we won't be getting a fat refund next year.  But my lady suze orman recommends it and it does make sense.  Why let Uncle Sam use my money when I could be using it during the year.  Eric and I are trying to get rid of all debt.  Cars, credit cards, etc.  We got burned at our old house trying to sell it.  The market crashed and we were left with debt from remodeling the place.  But if we hadn't remodeled, we wouldn't have been able to sell.  Student loans have been paid off.  My car is about to be paid off.  We've had A LOT of medical bills in the past we had to pay too.  The joys of giving birth in the good ol' USA with insurance.  So...this year is the start of Eric and I taking control of our finances.  We have been sticking to a budget really well.  I'm calling today to see if I can find cheaper car and home insurance.  We are paying way too much for our current plans.  Fingers crossed I find a good deal.


I have to plan spen's v-day party today along with a whole basement full of laundry.  I think I'll shock Eric when he comes home to no dirty clothes.  It will be a miracle. (He does the laundry)  Tomorrow is my dermatologist appointment. It's so annoying my face ALWAYS clears up before I go to them so they look at me like I'm nuts when I tell them how bad I can break out.  Oh well.

Eric and I are starting to work out together again.  Eric is dragging his feet on the subject, but he has to...he's getting older and his body isn't a teenagers anymore.  We did crunches and lifted weights last night.  I plan on walking on the treadmill today and lifting weights.  Zumba was really fun...and I think it was a great work out.  I look forward to doing it again.  I told Eric maybe he should start swimming.  He loves to swim and it is the best all body workout.  He's lost about 20 pounds himself.  We both need to get into shape.  I know this spring we will start hiking again.  Both kids love it.  Poor Eric, Ceddy is heavier now so wearing him on his back shall be interesting.  I love seeing a daddy wearing a baby.  It shows such love and gentleness.  I'm a dork. 

Ok let's get this party started...off to start the day.

Sssshhhh shut yo mouth...

I had my NeNe fix today.  I worked out to Tabitha. I need do some crunches today.  I lifted weights and walked for a half an hour.  I can feel my old self coming back : )

I have a crazy schedule this coming week.  I have to plan the Spen's valentine party. I have a doctor appointment Tuesday and Thursday.  Funnnn....Food therapy and I'm going to try to get a baby hour in at the library.  I'm thinking about using the queen of hearts theme for the valentine party.  A little Alice and Wonderland.  I can't make it too girlie. The boys in the class will have a fit.

Eric and I need to start on our taxes today.  Funnnnnn...I'm still waiting for my w2s from the paper.

Eric is currently watching the IT crowd.  I myself find it amusing.  I love a good British comedy.  Mother fudging lift is broken : ) Heh.

I found a couch that would work in the basement at Macys

Ok...pointless entry...off to look for new bedding and pick up some medicine. 

Zumba baby...

I have no rhythm.  I dance like an awkward elderly person, but I will admit I had a blast in zumba class this morning.  I'm extremely out of shape.  But I did in fact have fun : )  My stupid toe is killing me.  Long and annoying story there...but it kept me from really delving into class.  I plan on going back.  Sarah and I hung out in the back of the class and thankfully there weren't any mirrors so in my mind I was a latin dancing fool, now in reality...I probably looked like Elaine from seinfeld.

We took the kids to their swim classes after our class.  The actually went to the deep side of the pool today and looked terrified at times jumping off.  But it was good for them.

I've jammed my thumb some how.  It's annoying.  It's swollen and doesn't want to bend...can we say good times.  I'm falling apart : )

I had fun shopping with Amanda yesterday.  I bought some new blush and new Hello Kitty perfume.  Smells lovely.  I wanted to buy more makeup, but alas I also like making a mortgage payment and that stuff isn't cheap at sephora.  So I settled for a few pick me ups.

I think I'm going to take a little nap.  Spen is at the movies with my mother in law and Ceddy is asleep.   Eric is off shopping for nerd stuff and bringing food home.  So sweet dreams to me.

Tick tock...

Weird insight on me for the day...

 I have to do things in three.  It's annoying and very OCD.  But if you notice...all my "..." are threes. 
It's annoying because Eric teases me with kisses.  He'll give me two on purpose just so I have to sneak a third.  I've been like this for most of my life.  My OCD used to be worse when I was younger.  But now...it's just quirky.  I don't have to touch things three times or any of that jazz.  It's just odd stuff that have to be represented by three.


Eric was asked last night if he would move up to cub master.  He was kinda taken aback.  He hasn't officially decided what he will do.  But he would be an awesome cub master.  This is such a funny realization for me. My hubby, the ex body piercer, the computer nerd, the guy who is against the "man" will probably be a cub master.  Hahhahahaaa...I love our little weird family.  Eric would do such an awesome job.  He's great with the kids.  He knows how much to push them and when to back off.  He knows what is useful information and what is a time waster.  I'm really proud of him.  He's really coming into his own at being a great father and role model for the boys.  I know a lot of people laugh and make fun of the boy scouts, but holy hell they do an awesome job for boys.  Eric will be the first to tell you all that he knows about the outdoors is attributed to the boy scouts.  I think it's great for kids to learn respect...not just for God, country and all that jazz, but more so for their fellow man.  I think it will nice to have a liberal cub master.  Eric is very pc and will incorporate all walks of life into his troop.  He is very intolerant of teasing and disrespect to others or their beliefs.  I think it's vital for kids now a days to learn respect.  It's often times not taught at home and kids are exposed to so many outside influences via, tv, games or the internet so having a good base is key for them to grow up to be nice kind men.  Eric has one draw back...the religion aspect of boy scouts.  He doesn't subscribe to any religion and mostly is agnostic.  He doesn't want to push anyone into any ideas.  We have a variety of kids from Jewish, to catholic to who knows what.  The current cub master doesn't push his beliefs either.  We shall see what becomes of his decision.  I know he wants to do it and I support him.  It will be a lot of work.  He will be responsible for the whole middletown troop.   But if anyone I would want doing it would be Eric. 

Sephora field trip today : )  Amanda and I are going to go out to the mall.  I haven't had a girls trip to the mall in awhile.  Hopefully, Cedric will feel up to it.

I did the scale thing today and winced because I have been popping the whole foods bite sized brownies like it's going out of style.  It actually hovered over 131, but went back to 132.  Damn you brownie goddess...if I hadn't indulged so much yesterday maybe I would be 131.  I walked on the treadmill last night watching bewitched.  I did crunches at 2 am...not a good idea.  My blood was pumping and sleep was the farthest thing from my mind.

My face is breaking out...funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.  I hate it.  But that's life. I'm over my bangs.  I wish I hadn't cut them last month.  They looked good at first.  But now I'm over them.

Ok, off to start the day.

Fill in blank....

I feel blah...

I hurried this morning.  I tried my very hardest to get out the door and to baby hour at the library and I failed miserably.  I was running late and then made a late turn into St. Matthews and ended up getting lost in a neighborhood.  I tried using my phone but I got annoyed with it so I ended up saying screw it and went shopping at JoAnns.  I bought some buttons for my kickass practically free coat : )  I had lunch with the hubs.  Had an argument with the hubs over said lunch.  Long story but he chose a place close to his work...which is also close to U of L and it was indeed lunch time so it was beyond crowded and we had a stroller with us.  Not a good combination and my winter blues are kicking in so I was a royal bitch.  I owned up to my bitchiness and we ended up at panera enjoying ourselves after leaving the tiny Mongolian place.  I went to whole foods and bought some drinks, bit size brownies and some potatoes.  I'm sure the guy checking me out thought I was nuts.  Oh well.

Ok, so while driving home I was rocking out to lady gaga and I look over to see a hearse sitting at the light right beside me.  It was not a funeral procession or anything. I wasn't sure if there was a person who had passed in the car or not.  I was just curious to what the driver was listening to.  I know weird thought.  But I wonder if they rock out while picking up the dead or just driving around town.  They're people too.  Ok...dumb thought...but I'm always curious to what people listen to in their car.  I personally am a singer and constantly have to catch myself to stop singing at stop lights...people tend to look at me like I'm nuts.

Saturday is zumba class. I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't nervous or fearful for not looking like a total idiot.  But oh well...it shall be fun nonetheless. 

I actually cleaned yesterday and from what I gather hell did not freeze over.  I vacuumed my bedroom and cleaned my bathroom.  We need to light a match to that room and just start over.  It needs a major update.  I'm not looking forward to that though.  Eric and I have talked about taking down a wall...adding a garden tub...re-tiling.  I'm just tired of projects....sheeeshhhhhhhhhh.  But it needs to be done.  I hate my bed.  It was a spur of the moment purchase.  I love how comfy it is...I just don't like the detail work on it.  But oh well...I'm stuck with it...so I'll have to make it work.

Eric got his w2's  I'm currently waiting on mine.  Oh joy...taxes.  Hopefully, we get enough back this year to pay some stuff off.  That would be dreamy. 

I want to have a HUGE yard sale...aka get rid of crap we do not need or like anymore.  I'm having issues with baby stuff.  I can't part with a lot of stuff.  I'm not sure if we are done or not.  It sucks not knowing.  But I can part with a lot of decor stuff I'm over. 

I need to mount some pics on foamcore.  I'm going to hang them up in the basement.  I don't like doing glass frames down there because the kids go ape shit down there and throw things around.  I'm sure things will get knocked off the wall and broken so frameless we shall be.  I want to do canvas prints too.  I just need to buy some canvas.  I'm lazy.

I really can't wait for spring. I told Eric I want to get a zoo pass this year.  I plan on taking Cedric there a lot.  It's fun for the family, a great work out (damn hills) and would give me something to do during the day with Ceddy.  I want out of this house.  Living in Florida is starting to look really nice right now.  I'm over this snow!!!


Ok...I just watched this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elaXeN15isM

and wept.  That poor couple was robbed of happiness.  It's just sad.  No matter how crappy or hard life seems...it could always be worse.  Steven Tyler was a gem....I just hate seeing sad things.  Life can truly be not fair.  That's something my mom would always tell me..."no one said life was fair".  

Ok...off to call Eric and see when he's coming home.  Tomorrow is my Sephora date : )  I need some new primer and blush.

Happy!!!

Today I weighed myself as I do every day the first thing in the morning and the scale said 132!!!  Woohoo!!! I'm more motivated to start working out harder.  I'm excited : )  My goal weight of 128 is just over the little hill and I can see it.  I'm excited can you tell?

Yesterday turned out awesome.  I took Cedric with me to my doctor appointment.  I usually have to wait a small eternity in there so I packed basically the house and took it with me to entertain Cedric.  I waited no longer than 5 minutes in the waiting room.  OMG...a miracle.  Then while walking back to the examining room I ran into my doctor and she told me she didn't even recognize me I had lost so much weight.  She was like wow. She was like you're half your size. Ummm...last time I went there I thought I had lost a lot of weight...ego ouch.  But it's nice to see I have lost it. Pregnancy does not agree with my body : (  But I'm happy I've lost the weight and am now getting to my goal weight.  Squeallllllll......

I checked out the other fresh market and liked it.  Double yay.

Finished my last scarf for a while...it's truly a knitting addiction. I woke this morning to snow.  I had no idea we were going to get any...ha.  So I checked to see the kids were out of school and when back to bed.  It was nice sleeping in. 

Cedric's food therapist called and said she is running late so I don't have to rush like a frantic person cleaning my house. I've had some weird good luck this week.  It's a nice change.  I cleaned my bedroom and closet up last night.  After Ceddy's feeding therapy I plan on really cleaning.  Over haul cleaning..heh.  I'm tired of clutter and I'm tired of how things look.  It's driving me nuts. 

I like this bedding and am debating on buying it...I read in the reviews and they claim that it's more of a brown than gray.  Hummmmm......
 

Random silly pics from yesterday...

We were being silly in Targets parking lot and also at home.  Now this is my most favorite pic of yesterday....

 I scored a kickass coat for actually 15 bucks!!!  I got an additional 10% off because it was missing some buttons on the belt.  WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.   I love deals.  Best part....drum rolllllllllll....it was a SMALL....and it fit me like a glove.  Swoonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.....

Ok, I know I say this EVERY week...but I'm going to try to get my butt up to baby hour at the library this week.  Ha!  I know it sounds like a broken record...but I need to.  I might see if a fb buddy would like to come along.  I feel bad because I've taken spen to so many and actually took Cedric with us, but I haven't taken Cedric to one designated for babies. We shall see how it goes.  On crap...I just remembered I need to read my book club book.  I'm always so behind on everything...

I'm debating on trying the microdermabrasion they do at the spa at my doctors office.  They also have deep pore facials.  I have a few enlarged pores and a few acne scars that are annoying.  I talked with the woman yesterday who said the microdermabrasion would get rid of them.  But that I would be super sensitive to sunlight and could cause hyper-pigmentation. So I'm thinking about it.  I might try the facial and go from there...

Off to clean then workout...

Sleepyyyyyyy.....

I made a huge mommy mistake yesterday and let Cedric take his afternoon nap way too late...aka went to bed way too early.  So this morning from 2-4 am...guess who was my best buddy?  I'm dragging today.  I need coffee.  But I'm trying to be good.  I've only had one cup since I decided to cut back.  I have to go to the lovely girlie parts doctor today for my annual.  FUNNNNnnnnnnn....nothing says good times like a speculum.  Ha!  I'm taking my little action packed buddy with me...so this will be interesting.  Stroller...stroller...stroller.  Their waits are usually out of this world.  If it gets too long I'll reschedule.  I'll be sure to bring toys and hand sanitizer with me.

I knitted almost two scarves yesterday.  Go me!  I did them in the afternoon after Spen got off school.  I laid in bed watching Bewitched knitting.  I know, I lead such an exciting life.

My friend and I are going to try a zumba class the next neighborhood over....(they teach them in their club house)  It's only 5 bucks so what's the harm?  Apparently it's all the rage on FB.  I've had four different FB buddies talking about it. One of my FB friends does it at a community center and she loved it. My friend has done it before and she knows the instructor.  Apparently, the instructors children attend ours kids school. This shall be interesting.  We kinda gave up on the water aerobics.  It was too gentle...aka...we were too young for the class.  The deep water is still going to happen one day.  I've been working out again at night.  Crunches and lifting weights.  I'm still way out of shape...so I'm pretty terrified of the zumba thing.  But hell, I'll give anything a shot once.  We talked about also trying belly dancing and hot yoga.  It's fun to mix it up.

I've been rearranging the kids rooms.  I'm determined to clean this house.  Now me sitting here blogging instead of doing so should really be a great display of how "determined" I am.  Meh....it will happen.

The kids closets are done...woo hoo!!! Below are the closet organizers I scored for only $29 bucks.  I had a plethora of hangers left after the cleaning.  Also, I still have to finish filling them with their clothes...but they are organized nonetheless :)

I should have taken before pics...but oh well...














 Added below are random pics taken...spen's new glasses and ceddy out to eat. 

I need to go to the grocery.  I'm thinking about going to the other Fresh Market.  I need food in this house.  But that store is so dangerous to me...I always have to buy cookies.  Whole Foods can be a beast to shop in.  I hate when it's crowded.  I've discovered that most grocery stores have started carrying a lot of the same stuff WF carries and way cheaper : )  Always a plus.   I do like a few of the things you can get there and only there...but who knows where the day will lead me...off to shave my legs...the joys of being a girl  : (

Kinda freaking out!!!

Ok, we took Cedric to the ENT.  It was confirmed he's tongue tied and he has to have surgery :(  He wouldn't let the doctor even examine his ears without a fight.  So there was no way he could clip his tongue in the office.  I discussed all my fears and concerns about sedation and he reassured me that the gas would be the best option.  He said it would be around 5-10...no big deal.  We are having it done at Kosair Children's Hospital.  I'm just freaking out that a. my little guy will be in pain and b. he has to be sedated.   I know of a little girl who they gave too much anaesthesia to and later died at home.  I'm just super worried.  But I know it will help on his eating drastically.  You can see when he takes a bite of something he doesn't have the tongue dexterity to move it to the side of his mouth.  The piece of food just sits there.  It sucks we have to pay $250 for the surgery.  OUCH!  What is the use of insurance, because that is just the dr's fee, not the fee for the hospital or anesthesiologist.  I'm just tired of bills.

I kinda need a break...a get away very soon.  Just Eric and myself.  We are thinking about maybe going away for a night or something sometime.  It's too cold for Chicago or anywhere up north.  So who knows.  I'm just in need of a much needed break.


Ok...I can't think straight...so I'm going to fix lunch while Ceddy naps.

***Edited...I'm still freaking out***  I know it's a minor surgery but I really really really hate him being sedated.  (every time I hear the word sedated I think of the Ramones) Eric is really calm and awesome about the whole thing.  I'm just freaking out.  I about started crying thinking about him away from me in the surgery room.  I read the info they gave me about surgery and all that jazz.  My nerves have not been calmed...if anything amplified with fear.  I just hate him having to go through this.  It seems we never can get a break!!!  Hell, I'm just tired of worrying.  I know that's a momma's job to do.  I just want to take my family and go away some place warm.  Hummmm....dreaming of Hawaii. Off to clean and knit I go...

what to do today...

Something fun with the hubs? or being productive and clean this house...hummmm....

Current random thoughts...

-totally excited the new alarm system is installed and up and running.  Yay for safe homes : )
- I need to still buy my book club book...hahahahaha...I'm so bad at being proactive and buying things as soon as I should.
- I need to plan Spen's class v-day party.  I want to do the theme in the queen of hearts/alice in wonderland.  Now how to incorporate this is beyond me.  I'll figure something out.
- I need to go to target...I have a bunch of things I need to purchase.
- I need to wk out...eeekkkk...I'd rather not.

I'm just about done knitting another cowl.  I need to finish it. I think I'm going to buy a thinner loom to make little stuffed animals and whatnot.  Maybe.  I have a bunch of things to do...so off I go...getting dressed and applying my complexion is the first step...have a great day internet land.

Nothing says fun like...

a little lazer tag...or so I hear.  Cedric and I watched Spen and Eric play today.  They had fun...then we couldn't decide where to eat so we roamed aimlessly around and finally decided on Panera Bread....blah.

I'm in a weird mood...thinking about life and thinking about our future plans.  Eric and I talked the other day about more kids...I honestly don't know.   He doesn't either.  I'm kinda a little lost on the that subject...

I had fun with Sarah at JoAnns....it's nice to see I'm not the only indecisive shopper.  I think we're going to sign the boys up again for swim lessons after this set is over.  They are doing really well, and the weather should be warming up by then. I think I'm going to attempt the deep water arobics.  EEKkkk!!!  Hopefully, I don't cling to the edge of the pool.

I bought more yarn today...just what I needed...ha.  I did score two sets of sweet buttons.  I adore buttons.  I found some really cute bee ones...but how to incorporate them into an art project...hummmmmmm....

I need to pick my wedding bands up...they were re-sized forever ago.


Ok...off to workout and watch a movie...and maybe knit....

The children have drifted away to slumber...

The hubs is working on something downstairs ( I'm sure goofing off with the new security system) and I'm sitting in front of my computer having given up on cleaning today.

I did manage to clean both the boys closets, and Eric the great installed a new closet organizer in ceddys.  I'm just too tired to do after thought cleaning.  What to purge, what to keep.  What to sell, what to save...yadda yadda yadda.  I'm sleepy.I'm in a weird mood...I'm having some self realizations going on...and it's kinda freaking me out.  Long story there...

My pics won't upload for some reason on well...


Ceddy ate garlic bread tonight and LOVED it.  I was so excited!!!  I thought he would just lick it.  But he got a lot more down then I had dreamed he would.  He's so funny...he loves flavor.

I was thinking about my last post...and remembered I did try a baby carrier with spen...hehehehehe...I found it while cleaning Cedric's closet out.  I had forgotten all about it. But I remembered why I didn't use a carrier for him...he couldn't breath very well in it because if his torticollis.  I found a lot in the kids closets.  Sheeshhhh...I'm borderline hoarder.  I did find a I was here, 94, 95, 96, 97 scribed in the back of Cedric's closet.  I had never noticed it before. I love little trinkets like that.  It gives the house character.  As much character a 1986 house can have...hehehee.

I'm missing an old friend tonight.  I hate how our friendship ended...and I hate that I'm sure it can never be mended.  I just hate having negative vibes out there...and I hate not having a friend to fill that void.

I need to get out.  I need to clear my mind.  I've been in this house for way too long.  Yoga and some meditation is what I need.  I might do that tonight.  Ok...off I go to get my peace on....pointless blog...

Attachment parenting

I'm writing this while Eric gives Ceddy a bath....and I'm having a mommy break...a much needed mommy break.

Attachment parenting is something Eric and I practice.  I practiced it with Spen when he was little before I even knew there really was a name for what I did.  Here are the 7 Baby b's for attachments parenting....

1. birth bonding...I breastfed both babies immediately after birth and did skin to skin bonding.  I loved having them lay on my chest with skin to skin touching.  I loved holding onto their tiny hands and studying their little features.

2. Breastfeeding.  I did with both boys, but kinda quit early.  For some reason I get mastitis and depression every time I breastfeed.  I felt horrible quitting, but if momma isn't happy, no one is happy.

3. Babywearing...I held spen.  I had no clue about slings or wraps then.  But I held that baby every where we went and all day long. He was attached to my hip and along we would go.  I wore Ceddy out and about and during the day a lot when he was younger.  He's more independent.  It's nuts how independent he is.  He still likes to get in his sling and walk around, but I know he would rather he running right now.

4. Bedding close to baby.  I did this with both babies.  Spen I co-slept.  Cedric had a co-sleeper that attached to our bed and he now still sleeps in our room.  He will give me cues to when he is ready to go to his room.  Nighttime is scary for babies.  It breaks my heart thinking they have NEVER been alone and why just since a child is born should I FORCE him into getting used to being alone?  It's amazing how ass backwards most of america is and the data they spit forth about how they should get used to being alone?  They should to make themselves go to sleep.  Really?  People have been sleeping next to their babies from the beginning of time and I really do not see how making a newborn sleep in their own room is beneficial for more than anyone other than the parents.

5. Belief in the Language value of your baby's cry.  I really never have believed in letting a child "cry it out".  Esp when they are young.  Now that Cedric is older and I can tell his tired cries from his series ones, then I will admit I do hang back and see if he soothes himself.  But not in the beginning.  I learned with both boys their different cries and learned how to decipher them.  Esp when they were young I answered them with open mommy arms and hugs.  That is a babies natural way to get what they need and even if it is for a hug, or reassurance they should be answered.

6. Beware of baby trainers...kinda the same answer as above...just that I really take no head of "helpful" advice from people who do not practice the parenting style I do.

7. Balance....this is the hardest and trickiest.   We take our children with us everywhere.  I personally feel guilty if I do not expose them to new things I get to experience. I want my kids to see everything I do and more.   I know there will be a time they will be on their own and I can do all that I like.  But from the moment they were born we have incorporated them into our daily lives.  From grocery shopping to restaurants. My oldest can hold his own at a 5 start restaurant better than some men I know.  I kinda think exposing them young and having them grow up within things that you love to do allows for you to not lose your mind. Ha...I couldn't imagine not dining out, or going out in public because I can't handle the kids. It's a very hard task to find balance in being a good parent and having me or couple time.  I think a lot is mind power.  Telling yourself you can do it and pushing forward.  Eric and I still sneak off and do couple stuff.  This is farther apart then I like, but we really do not have the means right now for more.  We do everything ourselves.  I hate asking grandparents to watch the kids...and they have their own live...as I'm reminded often..  So Eric and I take turns on having me moments.  I can honestly say my kids are awesome because of attachment parenting and the lifestyle it encompasses.  I know it's not for everyone.  But it works for us.  Balance is hard.  While Eric has been traveling I have been on my own again.  My heart goes out to all the single parents out there.  Esp the single parents that are awesome parents.  It is beyond tough, and my hat goes off to you.  I can remember being a single mom.  It's hard!  I had a mom and family helping me out, but still the balance is swayed and you are always feeling something is missing out.  The guilt you feel from working, to going out to socialize or the guilt you feel for yourself for not going out.  It's a double edged sword.  It seems parenthood is full of those moments.  They say a human brain cannot do two things at once and one thing will always be neglected somewhat when doing two things at once.  Hence, why I'm not jumping head first into my work or the work force.  I love my babies, and I love being able to go to their school functions or hold ceddy while he drifts off to sleep.  These are precious moments I can never get back.  But on the flip side...my business could be booming, I could be rolling in money or I could be out socializing more.  But I choose the snuggles over the other.  I know a lot of parents have to work.  I had to.  I hated it.  I can remember crying driving to Humana because my little guy had begged me not to go.  I used to leave lipstick kisses on his face when I left every morning so he could see I loved on him when he woke up.  I have lived one crazy rocky life and have seen the view of the spectrum from both sides and the mommy side wins every time.  I'm sure once Ceddy starts preschool I'll start working more.  But until then...I'll enjoy this time.


Both parents need to practice AP...if not it's one parent DOING EVERYTHING for a child. Not fair.  I feel like it's absurd for one person to be the one and all.  I stay at home...but my hubs shares in the parenting.  We split chores and he helps out greatly.   My ex was a jerk who would say that I "chose" to stay home and therefore was responsible for everything in the household...child included.  I can honestly say I could count on one hand how many times he bathed him.  Anything out of public view was all for me to do.  I had to cook, clean and take care of the baby...how 1950's of me...gag....oh how that relationship crashed and burned.  But I learned what not to do and learned what I wanted out of a partner.  I have been through hell...but I ended up with a great man and partner out of that horrid time. So yay for that!


****Edited****

I forgot to post this last night...I was called away from the computer.  I'm currently on hold with LG & assholness E.  They are claiming they did not receive our last payment....although I'm starring at it on my bank account having been removed.  I think I've entered purgatory at some point unaware and this shall be my task for the next 100 years or so...ok...dramatic yes, but I hate being on hold!!!

The kids are off school today.  I was happy I didn't have to get up early and make breakfast and pack spen's lunch.  It was a nice sleep in moment, until Ceddy started singing...heheheheee.  He's funny. 

Just put the phone down on speaker.  I really do not think their representatives are there.

Ok, it's hardcore workout time!!!  I want to get my ass in shape and feeling better.  I have a date with the ab cruncher and treadmill today.  We shall see if I show up...

GRRRRRRRR!!! I just waited a small eternity to find out they received my payment and a phone call was incorrectly sent out warning of disconnection.  I hate LG&E!!!

ok...off to get the day started....

Let the cookie baking begin!!!

I have been on a cookie frenzy.  I've been buying them like crazy...and eating them like crazy as well.  I'm going to pop a few in the oven in a bit.


I'm over the moon my Eric is on his way home!!!  My heart is in my throat because he is driving through this snow mess.  He told me he was almost hit head on but thankfully the guard rail stopped the on coming truck!  OMG!!!  I told him to drive slow and safe.  I can't wait until he gets home!  I love and miss him to death.  It's been hard while he was away.  I work non-stop with the two kids. I need a mini vaca when he gets back.  Two weeks of nothing but mommy overload kinda makes one go crazy.  Add the snow to the mix...not a pretty picture.  Eric helps out with the kids so much...I feel so wore out when he's away.   I haven't been getting any sleep at night due to the new found habit my son has developed.  He now likes to cover his head with blankets.  Scares me to death...so throughout the night I'm checking to see if he has a blanket on his head or if he is cold. 

I don't get people.  Sometimes the answer is right below your nose.  People will blame everything else but the real culprit.  If people were to take an honest look at a situation, they would know the truthful answer.



I have an appointment for Ceddy to have his tongue checked out.  Hopefully, he will not have to be sedated.

I have some ideas of what I would like to do with our family room.  But I just don't know what I really could do to keep it kid friendly.  I hate when I look up inspirational pics for my room... they look nothing like what I can do. I a. do not live in a loft or flat. nor b. can have white couches or a lot of $$$ in there.  The set up is really weird in there and I have a number of crazy factors, fireplace, doors, windows.  I'm just not sure how I should lay it out.  Also, I give up on the nice furniture...the kids will only destroy it.  I just hate that we had to rush with this house and just make quick decisions on certain things.  Now I need to go back and really take a look at what I want. I really like this layout and furniture set.  But I hate leather...I want something comfy and something that will resist stains.  I can't have two chairs due to the fact we have a tv occupying a lot of space and a huge ass fireplace occupying the rest of the space.  Ho hum....I shall figure something out.

I also hate the windows in there.  I'm thinking about doing a whole wall window treatment.  I have an idea for artwork.  Blow up some Chicago pics.  Ok...Eric just called and he's only 30 minutes away!!!  Yay!!!  Ok..off to make those cookies : )

Paddling backward

I hate when you can't get anything accomplished!!!  I feel like I'm just treading water or actually going backwards.  I clean my kitchen.  It either gets trashed by the boys.  Ceddy's food therapy ends up on the walls, floor and everything else.  I just want a pause button.  Ceddy's food therapist is coming today at 12:30.  He is making strides one day and stops the next.  I'm sure I will be bald before this child is 5.  I think almost every room in my house needs cleaned.  I just don't have it in me to actually make it happen. So I will sit in my house of dust and dirty clothes.  Ha! I need to organize all the closets in this house.  They are driving me insane.  I need to go through toys like yesterday.  I swear my house looks like a toy shop.


I think for V-day I might take Eric to the gun range.  He'd like that.  I've never been...that should be interesting and funny. I might invite some friends and double date.  How redneck of me..but I think the swank range they just opened up might be fun.  He deserves to do something he likes.  He has a HUGE home project to do this weekend and I really am not looking forward to starting it.  I know he is not as well.

Ceddy is so funny...he is becoming a little parrot.  He shocked my mom yesterday by running around with a toy camera saying cheese to everyone.  She was like I had no idea he could say cheese and know to say that when a picture is taken.  Hello, my child.

I have a bunch of things to do today (boring stuff)...so off I go. Hopefully, I won't be too bored and lonely this week. I need to find some things to do.  I hope everyone in internet land has a great week.

Life

Life is one event after another throwing you into this journey everyday.  You wake up, you start anew, you move forward. 


I had a gastro doctor. appointment today.  I have the worlds best hubby who went with me.  He always goes to the doctors that make me nervous.  I like my gastro dr. but he is a mumbler.  I can hardly understand all that he says so it helps having Eric there to decipher what he says.  Also, I get super nervous going to that dr.  I have no idea why.  But Eric helps calm my nerves.  He usually makes me laugh or laughs at my silliness.

I shall be bored and busy this week.  I hope we don't get the snow they are predicting.  My driveway is a bitch in snow.

My doctor gave me two new pills to try out.  Lovely...hopefully, they help with the tummy issues.  Eric and I laughed at how I was the youngest person in the office.  It's kinda scary if you really think about it...what will I be like at 70? Scary sight.

My mom let me borrow her circle loom....new projects...swoon :)

Hopefully, this week runs smoothly.  Not looking forward to c/s.

My son made me smile and warmed my heart so much today...I was dropping him off for school and I watched him enter the school building as I always do...I saw him go in and then come back to the door and hold it open for a teacher that was entering.  He did it all on his own.  I guess maybe I'm doing something right with this mother gig and I was so overjoyed to see him growing up to be a gentleman.  They are few and far between.  But yay for making momma proud!!!

So it starts with an itch...

I have an itch to try something different.  I have enough on my plate before me.  But I'm kinda interested in something and am debating on giving it a whirl...we shall see.....

This week is jammed packed.  Tomorrow I have to go to the doctor.  Fun...eyes rolling.  Hopefully, there is a magic pill for my tummy issues.  I have a makeup play date with Amanda and another feeding therapy sessions set for Cedric.   I'm so tired.  This weekend was a bust.   We replaced some stuff around the house but the weather was too cold.  I froze most of the weekend.  I need to get my ass on my treadmill.  Spen did awesome at his swim lesson.  I think he could really be good at swimming....team good if he wanted to.  He loves the water. 

ok...I have a long list of things I have to get done...so off I go to check them off one by one...